Wednesday, November 4, 2015

We’re Still Staying Around

The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement twenty-three years ago on the day after Election Day in 1992 following our decision to suspend publication a year earlier.

Hurley the Historian says we had to return. Our November 5, 1991 Edition # 75 of the original Whistleblower print edition was supposed to be our final edition. But after witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.

Voters in ’92, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom The Blower predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.

America got a leader it truly deserved— more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, and rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.

Fast forward to the Media’s Obama-nation of 2015: It has been the most dishonest, relentlessly one-sided campaign of bias and distortion by the mainstream media in American history. We thought we’d already witnessed the “Death of Objective Journalism in America,” but unfortunately, this year our Obama Supporters in the Press are still too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to bring you the truth.

Not that all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, really give a big rat’s ass. This year, people seemed surprised when we asked them if they planned to vote on Tuesday. Their ignorance and apathy were overwhelming. We thought we were watching Jimmy Kimmel interviewing all those really stupid people on TV. 

Back in ’92, The Blower only planned to stay around for a short time. But today, even after 8,036 straight days of penetrating reporting, scathing commentary, and shining the light of truth on liars and deceivers, our Kneepad Liberals in the Press (especially Skaggie Maggie, Wedgie Washburn, and their Feckless Fishwrappers and Gannett Farm Teamers at the Community Press) still don’t get it. Their coverage of Indecision 2015 became even more lazy, stupid, and dishonest. “Media Watchdogs, indeed!” How about when The Fishwrap sent cyberspace into frenzy on Election Day 2012 with their erroneous early vote total projections that showed Romney had a 92,000 early vote total lead, when no early votes had actually been counted. Cincinnati.com claimed it regretted the error. Today you can read their entire apology, but only in their “paid archive.”

Today the U.S. Debt Clock is more than $18 trillion, and Congress better start thinking about trying to correct the unholy mess Obama and his Liberal Supporters in the Press have made of the country during the past seven years during the 443 days left remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (unless he’s impeached). Members of the Conservative Agenda will begin analyzing results of Indecision 2014, with special attention to how all those TEA Party Candidates did. Will The Blower be gloating about the number of our predictions that came true? You bet! As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the tri-state, our readers have every right to expect nothing less.

Voters hereabouts casting their ballots have obviously not yet learned what those Loony Libertarians always say, that “a vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil,” and people who don’t stand for something will fall for anything, because no matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really know or believe in, and you should never vote for a feel good tax increase until you’ve figured how much it will cost you, on top of what you’re already paying.

Is it any wonder that Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen reports that after all the partisan debating leading up to the 2015 elections, voters of all parties agree that the candidates won’t deliver on what they promise.

Left-wing lunatics always predict The Whistleblower will cease to exist after Election Day, and once again this year, that prophecy did not come true. Our Quote for Today Committee says according to Mark Twain, “Reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated,” and as Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda at Chick-Fil-A, now it looks as if we get to have to stick around for just a little while longer.

You have only yourselves to blame.

We’re going to do it until they get it right.

So perhaps it’s time once again for Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto (Let’s all say it together):
Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.
Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.
And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for RINOs.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially lazy, stupid, and dishonest members of the news media.

2015 ELECTIONS HOTLINE

e-mail your political predictions today. 

This year, Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception remembers when he said, “Maybe after 2012, The Blower shouldn’t be making so many predictions so early.”

MORE CURRENT CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL CARTOONS

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Published on Feb 7, 2013 A Tribute to Paul Harvey, a parody of the Superbowl “God Made A Farmer” commercial.

 Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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