SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2015
This Sunday in America…
… at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking his Political Parishioners to ask for God’s help to make sure only voters who are actually smart enough to vote show up at the polls on Tuesday.
It will be bad enough in 373 more days at next year’s 2016 Elections when all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, stand in line to vote for more FREE stuff, but in 2015, there are still some State and Local Candidates and Issues to vote for or against in two more days, and it would truly be best for society if only people who really knew what they were voting for or against actually showed up at their local polling places to vote.
Not to worry, this year there are lots of folks eager to educate our all of our dumbed-down voters. They even have “Voter Guides” to tell you which candidate to vote for. The Feckless Fishwrappers have a voter guide. They call it their “List of Endorsements.” The Hamilton County RINO Party’s voter guide includes “Sample Ballots.” The Citizens for Community Values Voter Guide tells you who all the gay and lesbian candidates are. The League of Women Vipers Voter Guide lists all Disguised DemocRATS as “independents,” and the Independents Voter Guide tells you to drive to Independence Kentucky to cast your ballot. Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Kentucky.com has a lot of information about where the candidates on Tuesday’s ballot stand on the issues, but they don’t tell you which candidate to vote for. You’ll have to go to StupidVoter.com for that. The Blower had a Conservative Voter Guide in 2012. For sure, we’ll have to come up with one for the 2016 Elections.
Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says the most important Issue on Tuesday’s Ohio Ballot is Issue 3, Legalizing Marijuana, because this day and age when illegal drugs are so rampant and pervasive it only makes sense that Romney’s 47% are now trying to make their number one recreational drug of choice legal, because it will make it more convenient for them to get! In fact the laws won’t change for the law abiding, who have to work and earn the money to pay taxes to support the 47%: we still have to be drug free when tested at a work site! But for those drugged out addle brained left-wing pinko commie Obama supporting do-nothings, legal and convenient access to drugs is about the same as free healthcare in the hood: it’s convenient and free for them.
If you want to see Romney’s 47% go to 67% overnight, just pass Issue 3 and make marijuana easily available. The other thing you can bet, is that the 10 monopoly owning millionaires, will become billionaires who don’t pay any taxes either! Keep working, middle-class!
Maybe that’s why our Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane closed with American Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr’s quote that everybody plagiarizes: