SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2015

We’re Trying To Come Up With Some Timely Humor Today!

Last night in The Blower’s Special “Tomb It May Concern” E-dition, we said “It’s really hard to tell the difference between Halloween and Election Day,” so this morning we checked out the joke page at Newsmax.com to see what some of our TV Late Night Comedians had to say about those subjects:

Jimmy Fallon said: Halloween is just a couple days away. Everybody’s getting in the spirit. In fact last night, I watched TWO scary movies: the Republican debate and the Mets game. (I’ll be having nightmares for WEEKS!) Carly Fiorina said that after the previous debate, people told her that she needed to smile more. They were like, “Just pretend you’re laying off a bunch of people.” And in his closing comments, Rand Paul said that he is running to create a government so small that you can barely see it. Paul said it would be modeled after his presidential campaign.

Conan O’Brien said: This Saturday is Halloween and a lot of people this year are going as presidential candidates. However, I’m not sure I want to see a slutty Mike Huckabee, and During last night’s debate, Donald Trump said he would feel more comfortable if his own employees brought firearms to work. When they heard that, many of Trump’s Hispanic employees said, “No problemo.”

Jimmy Kimmel said: Last night in Colorado the Republican candidates for president gathered to debate. It was the most-watched program in CNBC history. Mostly people watched to get ideas for Halloween costumes. Jeb Bush had a very rough night last night. He finally got time to say what he wanted, and how did he use it? He attacks not Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton or Ben Carson. Of all people, he attacks Marco Rubio for missing votes in the Senate. Which is something that literally no one outside of Florida cares about. It was embarrassing. And it’s just like a Bush to attack the wrong guy, it really is. The worst of memorable moments: We learned Donald Trump carries a gun. He told the group he carries a concealed weapon, conceals it in his hair. The front-runner Dr. Ben Carson, in his closing statement, said one thing he’s noticed on the campaign trail that is people are waking up. And we’re hoping that eventually he will also wake up.

Stephen Colbert stupidly said: Did you guys watch the debate on CNBC last night? In some ways it was impressive. It managed to thread the needle between confusing and boring. (Spoken like a true Obama Supporter!)

But the one we liked best was when Seth Meyers said: The third Republican debate was held last night, and RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said he was extremely disappointed with the coverage. And he understands disappointment, because his parents named him Reince Priebus.

But if you want to see something that’s really funny, check out the latest fund-raising e-mail we just received from the DemocRAT Senate Campaign Committee: