TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
On tomorrow’s date in 1886, President Grover Cleveland dedicated the Statue of Liberty, but all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would still change it to the Statue of Obama. —Hurley the Historian
Obama is still planning to grant Amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants because they will do jobs Americans don’t want to do, like voting for Disingenuous DemocRATS early and often. —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
That’s why we chose Emma Lazarus’ “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,” but today that wretched refuse would have to include Muslim refugees and future DemocRAT voters. —Your Quote for Today Committee
Do you remember last year how I got a Top HHS Official to contradict Obama by saying you can get Ebola by sitting near someone on a bus through their sweat? —Kentucky Fourth District Congressman Thomas Massie
Maybe all those people haven’t sent in their Absentee Ballots already because they’re waiting for the rest of The Fishwrap’s 2015 political endorsements. —Hamilton County Board of Elections
Does Mayor Cranley’s Parks Levy The Fishwrap is endorsing cover us too? —Illegal Immigrants And Homeless People Wanting to Move T0 Hamilton County
Make sure you check out our Voters Guide to see who all the Conservative candidates are. —TEA Party Patriots
Make sure you check out our Voters Guide to see who all our favorite Liberal candidates are. —League of Women Vipers
Make sure you check out our Citizens for Community Values Voters Guide to see who all the gay candidates are. —Noted Homophobe Phil Burr-ass
Why do we put so many of our yard signs illegally in the public rights-of-way? Because Republicans keep tearing them down when we put them in their yards. —Dishonest DemocRATS Disguising Themselves As Independent Candidates
Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley says he will lower the City’s Poverty Rate by throwing more money at it. —Today’s Liberals Say the Stupidest Thing Award Committee
Are all Ohio Republicans getting ready to cheer me on at Wednesday night’s GOP Presidential Primary Debate tomorrow night in Boulder, Colorado? —Ohio Republican Governor Kasich-Taylor
When will Draft Dodger Bill Cunningham be telling us about more places we can get free chow on Veterans Day? — Freeloaders Pretending to be Veterans
It won’t take nearly so long to sort your e-mails and delete all that campaign crap after the election. —Your In-Box
Isn’t it ironic that you can’t vote to overturn last year’s Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike Scam, but School Board Members like us who pushed it through will win re-election because we’re running unopposed. —Randy Smith and Jim Frooman
So what if that school levy scam I supported gets my neighborhood a new school and no one else gets one? I’m a township trustee and you’re not. —Josh Gerth, Anderson Township Trustee
I’m glad to see public officials as well as candidates are still taking advantage of their “Right to Lie” during political campaigns. —COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney
With only seven days until the 2015 Elections, I’m running around the Commonwealth taking selfies with little Black children at overtaxed payers’ expense. —Alison Wondergams Grimes
You can’t believe how many of my Facebook Friends have been trying to wangle an invitation to my Annual Halloween Party this year. —Miss Vicki
If Miss Vicki didn’t give her annual Halloween Party this year, how would everybody in Northern Kentucky celebrate? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
I’m glad The Blower is sponsoring a “Most Offensive Halloween Costume Contest” again this year. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson
Remember that year The Batboy showed up at Miss Vicki’s Halloween Party wearing his “Hung Like a Horse” outfit? —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
I’m planning to wear my Dominatrix outfit again this year. —Kathy Groob
I was planning to wear my straightjacket. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
Here’s a Halloween Tip: Never try to repeat “Bloody Mary” three times until the next morning, after a really rockin’ Halloween party. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. —Bobby Leach
That’s why we chose Chris Rock’s “Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Eat, drink and be scary, especially the eating and drinking part. —Clueless Marc Wilson
Do NOT go down in the basement anywhere on Elm Street. —Michael Myers
Just be sure to drive carefully on your way home. —Trooper Steward
Please explain one more time why we don’t have Early Voting in Kentucky like they do in Ohio? —“Trish the Dish” on Channel 19 News
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially RINO Township Trustees who promoted Humongous School Tax Hike Scams.
More Conservative Political Cartoons
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(This E-dition of The Whistleblower may be may be unsuitable for dumbed-down Liberals. Reader discretion is advised.)
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Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers. WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Andrew Klavan: What Gender Are You?
Published on Oct 9, 2014 In which our always sensitive host takes a look at the exciting world of gender diversity, where the unusual is normal, even though that can’t be right and doesn’t make a lick of sense.)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.