FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2015

Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest

Elections Dejections
This week, everybody who’s really tired of watching all those campaign commercials on TV, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted political pundit J. L. Jaundice, who says he thought if you voted early, you wouldn’t have to watch all those crappy political ads anymore.

J. L. wins an Official Whistleblower Election Night Scorecard to tally all those local races, 38 absentee ballots for him to fill out so he can participate in Early Voter Fraud, and an “I Told You So” Button to wear on November 4.

It’s just a few more weeks till elections
With both parties courting major defections.
But they’re only two sides of the same coin,
Both of which kick America in the groin.
Are we too dumbed-down to raise some objections?

It’s just a few more weeks till elections
And no matter what your selections
Because the plain fact is
They’ll still raise your taxes
So the government can increase its collections.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):

It’s just a few more weeks till elections,
This time we won’t have a lot of selections,
But the really big races
In 2016 will face us
Til then we’ll keep voicing our objections.

It’s just a few more weeks till elections
(In Japan, they would call that “erections”)
I can’t help being stimulated,
For two years I’ve waited,
To change our political directions.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When Clown-cil gives ‘Baltimore Harry’ a big raise.”