Saturday, October 10, 2015
How Will We Ever Find a Way to Say Something Sarcastic?
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower would be celebrating National Sarcasm Month this October. “I’m not sure if we ever could say sarcastic things about people,” Kane replied, “since we’ve always prided ourselves on telling the Absolute Truth,” especially since our Garrulous Grammarian says using sarcastic language is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
SARCASM FOR DUMMIES says when somebody asks you a question, first think of an honest answer. Then think of the opposite of it. Then say it out loud and roll your eyes. See how easy that is?
OUR EGREGIOUS ETYMOLOGIST says anyone who has suffered from the sarcastic remarks of others will not be too surprised to learn that sarcasm, “a cutting remark,” comes from a Greek verb, sarkazein, that literally means “to tear flesh like a dog.”
OUR SARCASTIC QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE says Stephen Bishop must’ve been thinking about the Obama Administration when he said, “It’s a catastrophic success.”
BARACK OBAMA, WARRIOR PRESIDENT says he’d rather be dealing all of his crises and scandals than attending DNC Fundraisers.
WHISTLEBLOWER POLLSTER RON RASMUSSEN says with only 24 more days until the 2015 elections, “Americans believe candidates don’t need to resort to criticizing their opponents and producing negative campaign ads to win an election.” No sarcasm there!
OHIO GOP GOVERNOR KASICH says he really doesn’t care if he’s not first in the Presidential Polls in Ohio.
ANDERSON TEA PARTY TRUSTEE ANDY PAPPAS says people can hardly wait until that League of Women Vipers Candidates Forum scheduled for October 14 at Anderson Center on Five Mile Road.
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says everybody can hardly wait for Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter’s next trial to start.
STATE REP-TILE DENISE DREIHAUS says being Hillary’s Hamilton County Apologist will really help her a lot when she runs for Hamilton County Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann next year.
HAMILTON COUNTY PROSECUTOR “JAYWALKING JOE” DETERS” says he isn’t one bit worried about getting a conviction in ex-University of Cincinnati Police Officer Ray Tensing’s Murder Trial.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS EDITOR ANDY FURBALL says the 2015 Reds were not the worst team he’s ever watched.
THE PARK LEVY TROIKA (Clown-sale Members David Mann, Kevin Flynn, and SMLP Smithermouth) says they’re not worried about passage of the City’s Parks Levy just because they’re the only three members who support it.
THE SOUL FOOD SIX (Clown-sale Members Wendell Young, Charlie Winburn, rich heiress boy 
Alexander Paul George Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’, and Cecil Thomas), say not to worry, because any day now Deadbeat Liz Rogers will begin paying back all that money she still owes the overtaxed-payers.
EMPLOYEES AT THE HAMILTON COUNTY BOARD OF ELECTIONS were amazed at how many people were lined up around the block in the rain before 8:00 AM Tuesday morning to vote early and often in the 2014 Elections.
APATHETHIC ANDERSONIANS are really outraged Forrest Gump School Board Members Randy Smith and Jim Frooman 
are running unopposed for re-election as a reward for their part “Smiling Dallas” Jackson’s $103 million building bond issue scam that would increase everybody’s property taxes by hundreds and thousands of dollars.
PG SITT-N-SPIN is glad The Blower reminded everybody about the time he proudly proclaimed being called a “Tool” was a good thing.
SODOMY RITES ACTIVISTS BEN DOVER AND PHIL MCKREVIS say The Fishwrap hasn’t published nearly enough puff pieces about 
Diminutive DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley’s choice for the City’s “Person of the Year.”
ALL THOSE DUMBED-DOWN, SELF-ABSORBED, MEDIA-INFLUENCED, CELEBRITY-OBSESSED, POLITICALLY-CORRECT, UNINFORMED, SHORT-ATTENTION-SPAN, FREE-STUFF GRABBING, LOW-INFORMATION OBAMA SUPPORTERS WHO PUT OBAMA IN THE WHITE HOUSE—TWICE, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press are really interested in those three State Issue on the ballot this year, whatever they are.
WYOMING HOTTIE “VIVACIOUS VICKI” ZWISSLER says she’s really doesn’t like it when The Blower keeps showing that viral “Pretty Wedding Dress” TV Commercial she once starred in, back when she was in all those political commercials.
FIRED CINCINNATI POLICE CHIEF JEFFREY BLACKWELL says he he’s glad The Blower never mentioned about that time he left in the middle of night owing rent to the Celestial in Mt. Adams.
DITZY DEMOCRAT BLUEGRASS SENATE CANDIDATE ALISON WONDERGAMS GRIMES says she still doesn’t mind how many times the Louisville Courier-Journal editorial board asked her how many times she voted for Obama.
NATHAN “CORNBREAD” SMITH says he plans to hold a fund-raiser for Hillary amid his Mobile Home Park sewage and stench the next time she comes to Kentucky to campaign.
DEMOCRAT DOMINATRIX KATHY GROOB says she’s still really sorry about that time she called Bitch McConnell’s wife a “chink.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says Persons of Consequence who are permitted to subscribe to The Blower would really know if Monday is the real date in 1492 when Columbus discovered America.
FINALLY, ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS says this is one of the best e-ditions of The Blower he’s ever read.
The Sarcasm Society* says
There is nothing more beautiful than sarcasm. That is definitely an overstatement but it should balance the moronic comment which says that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. Now, whoever made that statement was desperately in need of a rectal broomstick extraction procedure.
Sarcasm usually requires a quick wit, and the ability to extract the minutest points of weakness in a conversation. So it is quite unlikely that it is the lowest form of humor as some would like to call it. Perhaps not being able to enjoy sarcasm is directly related to not having the ability to come up with sarcastic comments, which in turn creates a feeling of inadequacy, which in turn can spawn a Napoleon complex, that can cause someone to logicise that sarcasm is the humor of the stupid.
Now I know what most of you are going to say, and I cannot wait to hear from each and every one of you.
*It is really just one guy.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST SARCASTIC THINGS” WINNER
is Dishonest DemocRAT Florida Congresswoman Lois Frankel, who said, “Here we go again. Planned Parenthood is the new Benghazi,” after the Republican-led House voted Wednesday to create a special panel to investigate Planned Parenthood and its procurement of fetal tissue as the GOP continued pressing an issue that has galvanized conservatives since secret videos surfaced this summer.
SARCASM ALERT HOTLINE
e-mail your cutting comments today.
Some really sarcastic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really sarcastic subscribers.
More Sarcastic E-Cards
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
How to be Sarcastic
PLUS
(Sent in by The Sarcasm Society, because they really value your opinion.)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.