TUESDAY, AUGUST 18, 2015

We Really Miss Bill

At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Conservatives should miss Bill Clinton.

“You bet” Kane explained, “We should all miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to have a real Black man as President.”

*He played the sax.

*He smoked weed.

*He had his way with ugly white women.

*Even now? Look at him … His wife works, and he doesn’t! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

*Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America ‘s shelves this week with “Clinton Soup,” in honor of one of the nations’ distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

*Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

*When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one” “I swear”

*The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”

*Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.

“Not only that,” Hurley the Historian added, “Yesterday (August 17) was the seventeen anniversary of the date in 1998 when Bill Clinton testified before a grand jury that he had had an “inappropriate” relationship with former intern Monica Lewinsky, and that night, he apologized to the American people in a nationally televised address.”