SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2015
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says with Hillary Clinton facing increasing investigative scrutiny, are some big name DemocRATS poised to enter the race for the 2016 presidential nomination? Joe Biden? Al Gore? Investigators confirmed this week that Clinton hosted top secret information on her private web server while serving as secretary of State. Most voters think Clinton’s use of a private, non-government provider for her State Department e-mail raises serious national security concerns. [READ MORE HERE]
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Writer Jonah Winter is writing a children’s book picture book about Hillary Clinton’s life. They say it’s the perfect gift for the nephew you hate. “Happy Birthday! Here’s a picture book about a woman in her 60s.” Conan O’Brien said,” Despite all of his sexist comments, 20 percent of Republican women still support Donald Trump. When asked why, the women said, Because he’s paying us alimony.” And Seth Meyers said, “Donald Trump gave a speech yesterday where he accused Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton of being under the control of lobbyists, special interests, and deep-pocketed donors. Trump says we should vote for him because he’s not under control at all.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says this week in 1858 people in Illinois were getting ready for the Lincoln-Douglas Debates on the issue of slavery to begin, and if they were reporting on Racism in America today, would Bumbling Joe Biden still be playing the Race Card by telling black folks Republicans are going to “put Y’ALL back in chains.” Not to worry: Obama said Biden’s remarks are never considered racist and Obama plans to mark the 51st Anniversary of MLK’s “I Have A Dream Speech” with yet another fundraising speech. DemocRATS issued Talking Points advocating using this summer’s Race Riots in Ferguson, Missouri to attack the NRA and Gun Owners, not to mention every Amnesty Opposing Republican in sight, dead or alive. And the President of the Missouri Chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored DemocRATS (NAALCD) says that Racist Rodeo Clown better not show up at the Missouri State Fair again this year.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Lincoln’s “Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #236 says you should tell a liberal how much you appreciate that the Obama economy is a system of checks and balances. He writes the checks, you pay the balance.
JOHN GALT says, “If you don’t know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.”
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “WE BE FERGUSON FREE,” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about all that Biased News Coverage for that Race Riot in Ferguson, Missouri. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
LATE NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Obama is still screwing up America even while he’s on vacation and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell.
Obamanation
Obama and his Chicago thugs
Have shredded the Constitution
Now our form of government
Is political prostitution.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says at the Republican Joint Press Conference in Cleveland, we saw Ohio Governor John Kasich hide behind black robes when he accepted a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that was based on pure fiction. Chief Justice John Roberts said of the court’s Sodomy Rites decision “it had nothing to do with the Constitution.” Chris Wallace said, “it is taking a political risk among Conservatives to say, as you did, the court has spoken.” Governor Kasich had a chance to stand tall and speak truth and he blinked. That’s why our Muchraker says if Kasich had been running for president in ‘76, would he have stated that Roe v Wade was the law of the land since the Supreme Court spoke. After all, that’s how fast he bailed on marriage!
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES reports T.RowePrice says stocks recorded modest gains, thanks mostly to a strong rally at the start of the week. The S&P MidCap 400 performed best and outperformed the small- and large-cap benchmarks. The technology-heavy Nasdaq Composite lagged and was nearly flat. This marked the fifth time that the broad Standard & Poor’s 500 Index reversed course over the previous week, and the benchmark ended Friday within roughly 2% of its all-time intraday high. The narrowly focused Dow Jones Industrial Average was the only index to end in negative territory for the year to date.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and Delaware Voice Rick Jensen says DemocRAT Bernie Sanders has hit upon a popular theme for his presidential campaign: “Free Stuff for Voters!” Martin O’Malley and Hillary Clinton have hitched a ride on the wagon, too. Bernie’s gambit is to have the government pay for everyone’s college loans and public college tuition by the ever-popular concept of taking the money from those lousy, rotten, no-good Wall Street investors that everyone hates (except for Hillary, who’s counting on their campaign contributions). Bernie figures he can confiscate about $75 billion every year from investors to pay for free college for everyone. Hearing the distant cheers from young, disillusioned liberal voters, Martin O’Malley responded with a hearty, “Me, too!” Martin, however, doesn’t have a plan, just a silly grin. [READ MORE HERE]
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
AND AT THURSDAY MORNING’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Bryce “Rhymes With Twice” McKey was named Public Enemy Number One on the Local Kneepad Liberals’ Most Wanted List after the former Xavier University assistant women’s basketball coach was accused of “sexually abusing” an XU player for touching the girl’s buttocks on not one, but two separate occasions without her written permission. “What kind of woman goes to a man’s apartment, drinks adult beverages, and doesn’t expect to get her Buttocks Touched?” Kane asked. “Even stupider than that, what kind of a dweeb invites a woman to his flat, gets her half loaded, and then asks her permission to touch her buttocks, anyway?”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
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SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (AUGUST 17) will be featuring our Annual Back to School E-dition while we’re continuing to count down the 522 Days of Dishonesty for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (AUGUST 18) The Blower will be ridiculing our Kneepad Liberals in the Press for naming Bryce “Rhymes With Twice” McKey Public Enemy Number One on the Local Kneepad Liberals’ Most Wanted List after the former Xavier University assistant women’s basketball coach was accused of “sexually abusing” an XU player for touching the girl’s buttocks on not one, but two separate occasions without her written permission, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will try to come up with a few politically incorrect responses.
WEDNESDAY, (AUGUST 19) we’ll be checking to see if any of those 17 Republican Presidential Candidates have dropped out after seeing the latest polls.
THURSDAY (AUGUST 20) is National Radio Day, and we’ll tell you which programs we’ll be boycotting that day.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (AUGUST 21) LIMERICK IS: “When your kids finally go back to school.”
AND SATURDAY (AUGUST 22), we’ll be checking out that vote by the Kentucky GOP Central Committee on whether to change their May primary to a March caucus, because that would be a critical moment for Kentucky Senator Rand Paul and his wet dream aspirations for the White House, and whatever his backup plan might be.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially when Award-winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us Ohio State Rep-tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, who can’t wait to tell everybody about all he’s accomplishing in Columbus these days.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Kids re-enact Republican debate in hilarious Funny or Die video
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