SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2015
Making Him The Butt of Their Big Joke
Our Local Kneepad Liberals in the Press found it so profitable exploiting the Tensing Shooting Case, they could hardly wait to sacrifice another White Male on their Altar of Political Correctness.
That’s why Bryce “Rhymes With Twice” McKey has been named Public Enemy Number One on the Local Kneepad Liberals’ Most Wanted List after the former Xavier University assistant women’s basketball coach was accused of “sexually abusing” an XU player for touching the girl’s buttocks on not one, but two separate occasions without her written permission. No Kidding!
The 20-year-old player alleged that on May 2, McKey asked her to come to his Covington residence, where she accepted alcohol and after a few drinks, he disrespected her by touching her buttocks twice without obtaining the university’s mandatory signed permission statement notarized in advance. Court records do not make clear if McKey touched each buttock once, or one buttock twice, and which buttock that might’ve been.
Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders said he would not be prosecuting the case personally, because his office didn’t handle such minor misdemeanors, punishable only by up to 90 days in jail and a crappy $250 fine, because the Judge would probably sentence the defendant to a 12-step “Buttocks Touching Rehabilitation Program,” where McKey would be forced to humiliate himself by saying, “My name is Bryce, and I’m a recovering a Buttocks Toucher, and I haven’t touched a buttocks without permission for the last two days.”
“JayWalking Joe” Deters immediate had Press Babe Julie Wilson send out a media advisory announcing the Hamilton County Prosecutor’s hastily convened grand jury had indicted serial buttocks toucher Bryce “Rhymes With Twice” McKey for “First Degree Buttocks Touching,” and said he would gladly volunteer to try the “Buttocks Touching Case” in the media.
“JayWalker’s” Cousin, “Crazy Eric” Deters said even though he is no longer permitted to practice law, he would still be happy to represent the 20-year-old woman who alleged that on May 2, McKey touched her on the buttocks on two separate occasions without having a signed “Buttocks Touching Contract.” “Crazy Eric” promised the woman’s father looking for a humongous payday from Xavier University one of his famous $11 million settlements.
At Cincinnati City Hall, Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley to City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black to expand Current Affirmative Action Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s 90-Day Violence Reduction Plan to include “Buttocks Touching.”
Many people wondered about our Feckless Fishwrappers’ obvious inconsistent policy of when “Race” is relevant to a story. They must’ve played the Race Card a zillion times in all those stories about Sam DuBose, but in the case of the 20-year old woman who alleged the man who wasn’t even her coach at the time “Touched Her Buttocks Twice” without permission, the fact that she was Black and the man was White did not need to be included.
Meanwhile at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what kind of woman goes to a man’s apartment, drinks adult beverages, and doesn’t expect to get her “Buttocks Touched.”
Even stupider than that,” Kane asked, “What kind of a dweb invites a woman to his flat, gets her half loaded, and then asks her permission to touch her buttocks, anyway.”
Wait till Kenton County Attorney Stacy Tapke finds out the 20-year-old woman had her “Buttocks Touched Twice” on “National Grab an Ass Day.” There goes her case, right out the window!
