FRIDAY, AUGUST 14, 2015  

Here Are A Few Of The Items That Came Over the Newswire Friday Morning

Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Michelson says he heard this story at the Iowa State Fair yesterday: While out campaigning in Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but he couldn’t. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She remained in the car making phone calls.

About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

          “What happened to you?” demanded Hillary.

“Well,” river replied, “the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made wild, passionate love to me.”

          “What did you say to them?” asked Hillary.

“I just stepped inside the door and said, ‘I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow,” the driver replied, “The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it.”

Meanwhile, New Jersey Bureau Chief Piscataway Tadwell says when devastating hurricanes struck the east coast, even houses of worship were not spared. A local television station interviewed a woman from New York’s Harlem area and asked how the loss of churches in the area had affected their lives.

Without hesitation, the woman replied, “I don’t know ’bout all them other peoples, but we ain’t been to Church’s in years.  We gets our chicken from Popeye’s.”

The look on the interviewer’s face was priceless. Now you understand how Obama was elected president, not only once, but twice.

And Whistleblower Foreign Policy Advisor Détente Powers says if you’re going to talk about Foreign Policy with and of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, remember this: Most of them believe “Iran” is what they did after they looted the liquor store in Ferguson.

Now for this morning’s video, we have a “Very Special Magic Show” for you to watch.

Julia and Brian Woodburn (US Army) have been deployed for a while, separating them not only from each other, but their daughter, Addison. They decided to show up through a magic show at Gilbert Jr. High in Louisiana to surprise their baby girl with their return. These are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and it was an amazing experience to film this. Truly emotional. Thank you, Brian and Julia, for your service, and welcome home!

More News Later