THURSDAY, AUGUST 13, 2015  

It’s the Free Stuff, Stupid

At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how long Obama Supporters in the Press would be continuing to whip up Racial Strife in Ferguson, Missouri and Disingenuous DemocRATS’ trying to say it’s OK for Black Looters to steal your stuff.

“Forever,” Kane explained, “but Racial Unrest won’t necessarily be their top story every day. You have to understand how the Liberal Agenda works.”

Our Kneepad Liberals in the Press always promote things Liberals like. Just as the TEA Party stands for fiscal responsibility, limited government, and free markets, your Liberal Media always endorses the opposite. Liberals have a big long laundry list of Progressive causes to support.

Their Media Mendacity currently includes promoting Abortion; Amnesty for Future DemocRAT Voters; Political Correctness; Supporting Sodomy Rites and Validating the Homosexual Life-style; Feminism; Tree-Hugging; Global Warming; G-uncontrol; Keeping People From Smoking; Diversity Uber Alles; Changing The Name of the Washington Redskins; Labor Unions, Brainwashing Children in Schools; Voting Rights for People Who Are Too Stupid to Vote; Streetcars, Obama’s Historic Legacy; Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money; and Making Sure Not to Hurt the Feelings of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.

The List of Liberal causes seems endless, and they must constantly change the subject, just to keep the interest of all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.

For example, down at the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap, Metro Mole says our Feckless Fishwrappers really outdid themselves with last week’s front page Sam DuBose Sob Story claiming DuBose never should’ve been stopped, since of the 90 charges on the UC Police shooting victim’s rap sheet never included a weapon, which made almost as much sense as Saturday’s #BlackLivesDon’tMeanCrap Activist Christina D. Brown’s Propaganda Piece that argued “Calls for Calm Were Acts of Violence.”

 Liberals must never get tired of saying stupid things, and the best part about being a Liberal these days must be being nominated for one of our daily “Liberals Say the Stupidest Things” Award in The Blower.