Wednesday, August 12, 2015 

So Much For Jocular Journalism

             At today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if any of The Blower’s parodies had ever backfired because somebody had actually taken one of our little jokes seriously. “Yesterday was the first time,” Kane confessed, “and we’re still trying to figure it out.”

Our writers were trying to think of something else for The Fishwrap to promote and we came up with #BlackTicketsMatter, a bogus Liberal Fake Outrage Group for a downtrodden minority that had been formed right here in Cincinnati to protest the racist practice of police giving traffic tickets to Black motorists and pedestrians in Black neighborhoods just because they’re breaking the law.

We even gave the fictitious group an official chant: “#BlackTicketsMatter; Hands Up, Don’t Shoot; We Can’t Breath; Kill Whitey; No Justice, No Peace.”

We said the group was looking for an endorsement from our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press, the same as hate-mongers from #BlackLivesDon’tMeanCrap, who use police shootings of Black men to riot and loot in Ferguson and Baltimore during Obama’s Summer of Racial Violence and Playing Golf.   

We said Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston was hoping that some local police official would be stupid enough to pander to all of their demands, call a press conference, and would actually be quoted saying he was “Horrified” by the number of tickets being issued to Black Motorists and Pedestrians in a Black neighbor just for breaking the law and give the ‘Natti’s Newest Fake Liberal Outrage Group all that credibility it would need to get Cincinnati’s #BlackTicketsMatter organizers on national TV, or at least on Cunningham.

Then we made our biggest mistake. We said In case you think no local police official would be that clueless, just remember, Cincinnati has long been a Sanctuary City for Stupidity, and The Blower wouldn’t be surprised if somebody with White Guilt on Steroids hasn’t already said something that “ASS-inine.”  

Imagine our embarrassment when we started getting all those e-mails telling us some people had actually taken us seriously, and were acting out our little Scenario in Stupidity. It wasn’t hard to believe our Feckless Fishwrappers would fall for our little scam and start whining about the number tickets being given to Black motorists and pedestrians in Black neighborhoods just because they’re breaking the law. 

But we were really shocked when UC Police Chief Jason Goodrich allowed himself to be quoted, saying he was “HORRIFIED” by tickets given to Black people (UC chief ‘horrified’ by tickets given to black people). At first, it sounded like just more pandering to the race-baiters, but the university was literally throwing itself under the bus, and it looked like UC was kicking its own ass!  

The Blower wondered where UC was getting all of its great legal advice these days. Look at all the attorneys at UC’s Office of General Counsel these days.  There’s not a Constitutional Lawyer in the bunch, but surely someone there should’ve advised: “Everybody on campus needs to STFU right now, because every time any of you open your mouth, you’re only increasing the payout for model citizen Sam Dubose’s “fiancée” and 13 illegitimate children, all with different moths so-far.

And if you think that’s harsh, you should’ve read some of the comments on The Fishwrap’s story: 

Melvin Satterwhite Jr ·
Princeton
White guilt on steroids? Most of the perps, who attack these students, mostly foreign, just happens to be young black males. So, your solution to this problem is less protection for these students ,that are off campus, so you would not be seen as being racist? I am black and most of us fear the same element. Like always, money is involved and liability is the issue here and nothing else. Just come out and say it, please?

Jones Strother ·
London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE)
I agree, Melvin. The targets are the students from other countries, along with those from smaller towns and villages where they don’t lock the doors at night. They’re soft touch easy targets. Let the kids from the small towns have a house party off campus, and it’s guaranteed the criminal element will sniff it out and pick ’em clean. I think Ono’s office got plenty of phone melting calls from parents, demanding a ramp up in safety procedures. After all, lose a couple of kids, the university’s revenue drops, along with its reputation.
The foreign students are major bucks for any university.…See More

Jamie Hurley ·
Senior Software Engineer at Matson Money
Apparently so. I guess UC forgets that it’s a business and is there to serve it’s students and taxpayers who foot the bill of this education. Instead, they placate to the media and react via extreme measures. “Let’s stop patrolling!” “Let’s stop writing tickets for missing license plates!” “Let’s have more muggings, rapes, robberies, and drugs in and around UC’s campus!” A tragedy is now spiraling out of control and hurting more lives based on incompetent leaders. Way to go, UC. I’m “horrified” that police chiefs, district attorneys, and city leaders are quick to throw an entire police department under the bus.

Erica Boston ·
Los Angeles, California
in a area that is 65 percent black, seems pretty much right on target. Typical PC Bull crap

Mark Clark ·
Cincinnati, Ohio
Goodrich didn’t major in math.

Robert Hull ·
Industrial Mechanic at Shepherd Cheml
I wonder, would Chief Goodrich be equally “horrified” if analysis revealed that 62% of tickets were given to male motorists as opposed to female?
Or is it still politically correct to admit that men may commit the majority of traffic violations?

Tammie Bauer Harrison ·
Managing Trainer at 9Round West Chester
I’m a little “horrified” that UC is working so hard to form a narrative that will pacify a certain percentage among us.

Marvin Tikvah ·
Falconer at Self-Employed
In a rare moment I agree with you Tammie.

Robert T Smith
You notice how every article mentions the death from Tasing or the brick event, but never mentioned are the beatings, robberies, attempted rapes, etc., that UC police were ordered to fix. Does anyone doubt that the officers were told to increase enforcement around the campus because of that? And what now is the morale of a department that is being hung out to dry with the comments by UC listed here? Quotas are the scourge of the feeble politician. They create them to show how smart they are all the while dismissing them as “horrifying” and bad.
I guarantee someone at UC involved in this said early on “We have to get ahead of this.” And everyone else fell all over themselves coming up with ridiculous ideas like seen on this article.

Jones Strother ·
London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE)
“Obviously, the disparity in citations is problematic…”
When there’s a representation of our society who believe the laws of the land do not apply to them, and therefore, they act as they so please, there will be a significant uptick (aka disparity) in the amount of citations.
What is quite obvious is crime and disorder around the periphery of the university has dropped precipitously. It’s been quite pleasant to nip into a restaurant for a bit of lunch without condending with a vast assortment of individuals with confusion and disruption on their minds.

Erica Boston ·
Los Angeles, California
Not to mention that 90 percent of the crime committed around the campus on students is committed by blacks, but why let facts enter the picture.
 
Paul Smith
Unfortunately, most cities like to play the ‘pretend’ game. They like to pretend that there are not blacks who like to indulge in bad behavior – both black males and black females. A lot of cities even like to say the bad ones do not live here, that they come in from other places. Ha – where is this place that all the bad ones live? Well, it is my observation that they make use of the stupid people playing the ‘pretend’ game. The blacks, who engage in bad behavior, get bolder in their acts of bad behavior and become increasingly more violent. Until officials name it for what it is and go directly after it – to eradicate it – then it will just get worse and worse. They make things worse for the great majority of blacks who go about their daily lives as good citizens, as well as everyone else who does the same.

Bud Rickett ·
Lexington, Ohio
This PC BULL has to stop.
Profiling works. . . use it.
Or, we could paint a red stripe across the entrance of black communities and stop police at that line. It’s a black problem, let the black community handle it, and let our police go home to their families after work.
Tim O’toole
Bud,
1. Go to the head of the class.
2. Obviously, you paid attention.
3. The Lord gave you an abundance of common sense.

Bud Rickett ·
Lexington, Ohio
Tim O’toole Common sense has always had me at the head of the class.
And yes, common sense dictates, that it is a black problem that can only be solved by the black community. Thank you.
 

Steve Murphy ·
College of Common Sense
When Political Correctness kills common sense and intelligence.
It is simple to understand.
An area that is predominately white, will have a high percentage of white motorist given citations.
If an area is predominately black, you will have a high percentage of black motorist given citations.
If an area is predominately Latino…
To continue pointing out the obvious is silly.
These chuckle heads don’t want reality backed by facts, they want to tuck tale and hide.…See More

Greg Cross ·
Oakwood High School
Steve you are 100% right! These people are just playing for the media and the media agenda!
 

Tim O’toole
Chief:
School opens soon. Your priority should be protection of the students. Put some of those extra officers on a walking beat around campus.
Have them focus on neighborhood African Americans prowling around looking for trouble. They are easy to identify. Generally, the African American students tend to blend in with all of the other students.

Nicol Neate
NKY looks better and better for my son. UC is doing nothing but pandering like Deters. They don’t even care to look at all the statistics, just certain one. Time to hit them where it counts, their financials.

Greg Cross ·
Oakwood High School
My guess is there is more white drivers ticketed in Mason! Anyone horrified by this?

Rick Blankenship
That big lip smacking sound you heard was James Whalen’s lips being removed from the black community’s rear end. I guess now we will have more laws that blacks are immune to and can ignore. And people wonder why there are problems.

Samah Harris ·
English College Dubai
Maybe they can publish a list? Kinda like potus telling illegales that he directed ICE to not enforce immigration laws. I’d like to know which laws I’m allowed to break. Let’s start with the IRS please.

Kevin Irwin ·
Mason, Ohio
“UC is paying big bucks for all of this.” Really, 3 new positions totaling possibly $400,000 dollars, Tuberville alone made $900,000 in 2014. I’m not saying Tuberville should have made less, I’m just putting the cost in comparison.

Uscg Uscg
Yes the area is 65% black, but what about the 40k thousand students and the 2k faculty there. They are majority white.

Doug Downie ·
Hamilton High School (Taft)
“I was horrified,” UC Chief Jason Goodrich said. “That number is not acceptable.”
Is it. I honestly don’t know and I don’t think they do either…. read on.
“Obviously, the disparity in citations is problematic, and we want to look at that and get to the bottom of it,” Goodrich said. “Currently, we don’t have a good way to track (data).”
So obviously everyone involved will continue to pacify the squeaky wheel.

Tom Zeiser
I am also horrified by this statistic. About 13% of the population is Black (African American…always want to be PC).) About 6.8% of that are male and they commit over 60% of crimes in America. Does that make any sense???????
 
Morgan Wisbey ·
Newport Beach, California
These numbers mean nothing. Nothing more than PC run amuck. If the area is populated by a specific race in majority, then it makes sense that the majority would have the most traffic citations. Show me how many written warnings were given out and if those were given to the population in minority then yes there is a problem. All I am read now from these statements is how people should be allowed to break the law for anything short of drag racing or vehicular homicide based upon race and this isnt right. If laws are not going to be enforced based on race, then remove the laws for everyone.

Obviously, many of these these commentators wouldn’t have fallen for our little #BlackTicketsMatter joke.FAKE OUTRAGE HOT LINE

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