WEDNESDAY, JULY 01, 2015
Happy July First, Everybody!
That means we’ve all survived the FEC’s Dreaded Deadline at Midnight on June 30, and last night’s e-mail spamming season has been concluded, pseudo-patriotic politicians from both political parties can start hassling people on their e-mail suckers lists to show their support by walking in their Fourth of July Parades.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1863, the largest military conflict in North American history began, as Union and Confederate forces collided at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. At least Lincoln wasn’t getting hassled by Congress about the War Powers Act, the way Obama always ignores, and this year’s Politically Correct Historical Reenactments will feature something different: NO CONFEDERATE FLAGS. Maybe today’s Southern Sodomites could wave Obama’s Gay American Flags instead. One thing’s for sure, they won’t be waving those black ugly ass ISIS Flags.
YOUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE was going to select Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, which included “The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.” But considering Obama’s Liberal Rubber-Stamping Supreme Court’s ridiculous rulings last week, The Whistleblower Editorial Board overrode the committee’s selection and replaced it with this section from Lincoln’s First Inaugural Address “that if the policy of the Government upon vital questions affecting the whole people is to be irrevocably fixed by decisions of the Supreme Court, the instant they are made in ordinary litigation between parties in personal actions, the people will have ceased to be their own rulers, having to that extent practically resigned their Government into the hands of that eminent tribunal.”
The Blower is certain all those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, won’t understand a word of what Lincoln was saying.
MORE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES: Reuters reports the race for the Republican Party’s 2016 presidential nomination now includes 14 official candidates for the White House with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s bid launched on Tuesday. At least two others are still likely to announce bids. Those candidates must now seek to stand out in a crowded field before the party’s first debate in August with only the top 10 contenders allowed on stage.
Officially running so far we have (alphabetically): Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, and Donald Trump. Still officially unannounced are Scott Walker and John Kasich. Photo Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper shows us “John Kasich In The Liars Den” about whom after Ohio’s Not Ready For A Presidential Campaign Governor said, I believe in traditional marriage, but the Supreme Court has ruled, and it’s the law of the land, and we’ll abide by it.”
ON THE OTHER HAND, TODAY’S STUPID LIBERAL LIAR AWARD goes to Racist Black DemocRAT Georgia Congressman Hank Johnson for claiming, “I believe it’s a culture that enables or says it’s okay for law enforcement officers to shoot to kill blacks.”
ANOTHER ITEM IN THE CINCINNATI MESS (You Only Read About in The Blower)
Commenting on all that politically correct news coverage in the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap about Cincinnati’s next Police Recruit Class (that will have absolutely no effect on reducing all those Black-on-Black stabbings and shootings in Cincinnati during Obama’s Summer of Racial Violence): a recruit class is scheduled to begin in January or February. The class takes six months to complete, then recruits are paired with a Field Training Officer (FTO) for a minimum of twelve additional weeks, before being released to patrol on their own. The probationary period lasts another three months before each officer is determined to be minimally suitable for permanent employment as a police officer or returned to the FTO for further field experience and remedial training. The initial training and probationary period equals one full year. It is generally agreed that these new officers require another six months to become minimally effective in their role as police officers.
TRANSLATION: hiring a new recruit class in January, 2016 equates to the agency realizing some level of effectiveness in mid-summer, 2017.
How does this type of preparedness help with the current disaster of black-on-black slaughters in the streets of Cincinnati? Politicians are selling this plan as an answer to the current wave of violent crime when, in reality, it is far too little, and way too late.
The real solution is in an effective strategy for policing the city, which does NOT include more games of hoop wit da chief!
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Although columns for then-columnist Ken CamBoo and the legendary Bureau Chief J. R. Hatfield appeared toward the back of editions twenty four ago, Bluegrass readers always found out everything important that was going on in Northern Kentucky. Take the “Bluegrass Holler” column from June 25, 1991, where the CamBoozler reported that former president Zachary Taylor was still dead. [SEE EDITION # 56 HERE]
TRIPLE PLAYER TINO DELGATO says, “I have rarely utilized the words apathetic or pathetic. But with Pete Rose I currently feel apathetic about his now pathetic life choices. I look next for him to start dating Caitlyn Jenner to complete his odyssey to idiocy. Go Figure!!!”
CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHLIN had something to say about that “Boy with Down syndrome center of YMCA lawsuit” in the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap: Your story reads, in part: “Richard Ganulin, the lawyer representing Watts …is asking the court to order the YMCA to make accommodations for Steven and allow him to participate in summer camp, as well as punitive and compensatory damages.”
This woman’s greed, selfishness and self-pity know no bounds. The management and employees of the Great Miami Valley YMCA should simply turn off the lights and lock the doors. Who needs the kind of abuse that Ganulin and Watts are heaping upon them?
OUR COUNTDOWN CONTINUES: The Counter on the lower right hand corner of the Whistleblower Web Page is still clicking away the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the start of Saturday’s Holy Homophobic Islamophobic Heterosexual Fourth of July Day Parade in Anderson, where only White, God-Fearing Hetero Citizens of Anderson will be permitted to march in the Patriotic Procession. That parade might take a little longer than planned, if the entire convoy is rerouted through the drive-thru lane of Andy Pappas’ new Krispy Kreme store like those 42,321 people looking for free doughnuts on Tuesday’s Opening Day.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all that Political Correctness ruining America during the Obama Administration.
“It looks like everyone’s in such a big hurry to scream ‘prejudice’ these days,” Kane explained, like that customer he met at the store last week.
“In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?” The customer asked.
“Are you Polish?” Kane inquired.
The guy seemed clearly offended, and said, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I’d asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I’d asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I’d asked for a kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I’d asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I’d asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
“No, I probably wouldn’t,” Kane said.
“Well then, because I asked for Polish Sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Polish?” the guy responded.
“Because you’re not standing in the Kroger store,” Kane tried to explain, “You’re at Home Depot.”
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only one websites for the production of today’s Blower. (This time we only plagiarized ourselves!)
REMOVE THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOT LINE
e-mail your Rebel Yell from a Rebel Belle today.
Some racially insensitive items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally racially insensitive subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
U.S. Citizens Sign Petition to Ban the American Flag & Issue a New Design for the New World Order!!!
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
