Monday, June 22, 2015

Happy Property Tax Day, Everybody!

Payment for your Hamilton County Property Taxes has to be post-marked by midnight tonight, and tax preparers all over Hamilton County will be busy all day Monday helping over-taxed property owners complete their complicated tax forms. And it’s no wonder, since some people’s property taxes are included with their mortgage payments, and they never actually see how much they’re paying for those fools in schools and all those other taxes that are included. That’s why The Blower always says “Everybody should have to write a really big check on Property Tax Day,” and “They should hold elections for those officials on the same day people have to pay for all those taxes.”

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Gerald Barzan’s, “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” 

First, there are school taxes. Could you ever believe you ever approved paying that much for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, walking around these days? The next big chunk of your cash goes to the City, Village, or Township where you live. Then come all your other taxes for such things as a Joint Vocational School (wherever the hell that is), County General Fund, Public Library, Family Service/Treatment, Health and Hospital Care for the Indigent, Mental Health Levy, Development Disabilities, Park District, Crime Information Center, Children Services, Senior Services, Cincinnati Zoo so they don’t kill all the elephants, and the Museum Center.

It’s a shame we don’t have an effective local “Anti-Tax” Organization to talk about such things because they’re too busy these days raking in big bucks for taking cases to the U.S. Supreme protecting politicians’ Right to Lie, and our good friend Bunky Tadwell (the Bard of Cleves) says, “The worst part about your property taxes is that they never seem to go down, and never does anybody else I know.” 

Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering says if you forgot to use one of those new 49-cent postage stamps when you mailed in your “Jacked-Up Taxes and your payment was returned due to insufficient postage, our Disingenuous DemocRAT Double-Dipping DemocRAT Obama-loving County Auditor will still publish your name in The Fishwrap, along with all those other deadbeats, and then charge you humongous fine for being a little late, too.”

CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street also remembers 24 years ago in The Whistleblower, then-Hamilton County Treasurer Wayne F. Wilke also sent his warmest regards to the troops serving in the Gulf War, but at least Wayne gave our guys 11 extra days to pay.

This year, Angry Andersonians who waited until the last-minute to pay their property taxes and saw how much their jacked-up Forrest Gump School District Taxes were costing, probably now wish they could vote on Tuesday to replace all those board members for agreeing to pay all that money to Disgraced Ex-Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson. 

Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest

Taxed to the Max

           This week, everybody who can’t understand how his real estate values can be plummeting during the Obama Recession at the same time his property taxes are being jacked up, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted anti-taxer Norquist Tadwell, who says, “I wouldn’t mind paying these jacked-up taxes, if only they were educating the kids with the money.”

Norquist wins an autographed photo of the County Auditor with Egg All Over His Face, an Official Whistleblower Jacked-up Property Values Complaint Form, free tickets to a seminar to learn how to be successful challenging the Auditor’s phony baloney value for his property, a “No More Drive-By Appraisals” sign for his yard, and tips from Bill “The Ethnic Cleanser” Seitz on how he got his old pal the Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor (who was permitted to run unopposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street) to give him an historic tax reduction. His winning entry is:

When you pay your real estate taxes,
Don’t ask where your money goes if you want factses,
Just watch for Castellini and Mike Brown,
First in line at the Courthouse downtown
Making huge profits off of our backses.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “I hope I get a decent present this year, or at least have my poetic license reinstated.”)

When you pay your real estate taxes
Can you see how the auditor relaxes?
He don’t have to work,
The greedy old jerk,
He just robs us, and them’s what the facts is.

And if he feels like hiking them higher
You might start looking for a home buyer
You can beg him for cuts
But he’s got you by the nuts
And your situation is nothing but dire.

If your taxes go up more and more
Eventually you’re gonna end up poor
If you have no more money
It really won’t be funny
When you get a foreclosure notice on your door.

But that won’t bother ol’ Dusty a bit
If you’re broke, he won’t give a shit.
He’ll just sit back and grin
And raise taxes again
And I don’t think that he’ll ever quit.

So maybe the answer is to rent
And let your landlord lament
You won’t own a house
And you’ll be poor as a church mouse
You might end up under a bridge in a tent.

The first line of this Friday’s limerick is:
“Obama says it’s now good to be gay”

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s Whistleblower is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our June fund-raising drive by Bankruptcy Attorney Robert A. Goering (who claims he’s no relation to Hermann), for helping him get a little publicity for that part-time job he has at the Hamilton County Courthouse. 

PROPERTY TAX REDUCTION HOT LINE
e-mail your savings strategies today.

Some tax-fighting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally tax-fighting subscribers.