02 | June | 2015 | Whistleblower Newswire

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3, 2015

Happy Confederate Memorial Day, Everybody!

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says he’s sure the local news media will not be covering the big Confederate Memorial Day Parade in Northern Kentucky today. Hurley the Historian says Confederate Memorial Day is officially celebrated in Kentucky on June 3, because Confederate President Jefferson Davis was born on that date in 1808 in Fairview, Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know where Fairview is, it’s near Hopkinsville, wherever in the hell that is.

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Jefferson Davis’ “I worked night and day for twelve years to prevent the war, but I could not. The North was mad and blind, would not let us govern ourselves, and so the war came.”

MEANWHILE ON THE NORTH SHORE, gang-bangers can hardly wait to see that “90 Day Violence Reduction Plan” Mayor Cranley’s City Mangler Harry Black assigned Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell to turn in by Friday. The Blower wonders on which day of the plan Blackwell will begin sending out resumes. “90 Day Violence Reduction Plans are a great idea,” the City Manager explained. “That’s the way we always did it in Baltimore, and you know how well things have turned out there,” a small fact you’ll never see mentioned in The Fishwrap.

The Blower is waiting to see if Blackwell’s “90 Day Violence Reduction Plan” includes the “All Out Program.” It’s the age old tactic of flooding a crime-ridden area with cops and enforcing every law imaginable, even for minor violations. It has an immediate effect on crime then its effectiveness quickly subsides when patrol levels return to normal. The bad guys simply wait for the cops to leave the resume their criminal activity. No Police Department can afford to maintain such elevated staffing levels.

MEANWHILE, OUR FRUMPY HILLARY IMPERSONATOR destroyed her server at the corner of Clifton Avenue and Martin Luther King Drive Monday afternoon. You have to wonder how the drive-by media ever missed that story.

And how’s this for a lead sentence from American Thinker: Just when you thought Family Clinton, consisting of ex president Bill Clinton, first woman president wannabe Hillary Rodham Clinton and maybe future president wannabe Chelsea Clinton, couldn´t sink any lower, lie any more, or be more morally deviant, along comes a blockbuster report in the New York Times of all places, proving the Clintons will do anything, and we mean anything, for money including ripping off children´s education.[READ MORE HERE]

TODAY’S LIBERAL LIAR AWARD goes to Obama, when the Divider-in-Chief claimed one of his core principles was that he would never engage if politics in which he was trying to divide people. Amazingly, he was still believed 100% by all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.

ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Whistleblower Readers have always known Northern Kentucky’s been way ahead of Cincinnati. You’ll no doubt recall 24 Years Ago This Week (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town). Edition #53, featured J.R. Hatfield story when our Legendary Bureau Chief’s reported about the Covington Business Council’s demonstration of a bus dressed up to look like a streetcar, complete with an over-the-hill Dixieland band hanging on for dear life on the rear deck. The business group was trying to drum up support for a trolley shuttle between Covington and downtown. If only they had a willing City Council then to tear up all the streets and put rails back in, the Covington trolley could still be running today.

SUMMER INTERNS: 412 applications for Whistleblower’s Internship Program were submitted by last Friday’s deadline for the summer term. Three lucky aspiring college students were chosen— one male, one female, and one we’re not quite sure about.

Now here’s a video showing you why we chose college students, instead of a woman going back to work after thirty years. Watch carefully, the video is only five seconds long, but, you’ll get it. If you’re younger than 40 years old, you probably won’t understand it. [CLICK HERE]

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to repeat that war story he plans to tell all those other geezers at the Veterans D-Day Lunch at Outback on Saturday. Kane plans to recount how he and two buddies survived that Infamous “Three Against A Thousand Raid:

What a battle, what fantastic odds, they never should have attempted it in the first place; it was “Three against a 1,000.” First they opened up with artillery fire— it was three against 1,000. Then they came with an infantry assault— it was three against 1,000. It was some of the bloodiest hand-to-hand combat in history.

Kane also told about his plans to attend this month’s Trustees’ meeting in Anderson to ask that an appropriate portion of a road in Anderson Township be designated as a memorial highway, to honor PFC Petkovsky, one of the other heroes of that “Three Against A Thousand Raid.”

We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially PFC Petkovsky.

PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only one websites for the production of today’s Blower. (This time we only plagiarized ourselves!)

This is the Official “Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky” E-dition. Any other Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky edition you might see is surely a fake!

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our June fund-raising drive by Great, Great Grandsons of the Confederacy, for helping keep their dreams alive.

MORE CONSERVATIVE CARTOONERY