Sunday, May 24, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (May 18), in our Special “Bluegrass Primary” E-dition, The Blower said, “If you don’t vote, you’ll be leaving the decision to someone even dumber than you are!,” and in our Special “2015 Bluegrass Primary Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “Looking To Set A New Low Voter Turnout Record Tomorrow!”
TUESDAY (May 19), in our Special “Bluegrass Indecision 2015 Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “Waiting to see how much a Fishwrap endorsement is really worth!,” in our Special “Racial Healing Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “We Can Hardly Wait for the Press Conference!,” and in our Special “Angry Anderson Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “No Wonder Over-Taxed Payers Are Outraged!”
WEDNESDAY (May 20), in Special “Thank You For Not Voting!” E-dition, The Blower said, “Because a lot of the people who voted, shouldn’t have!” and in Special “Political Prophecies” E-dition, The Blower said, “We always tell you about the ones that come true!”
THURSDAY (May 21), in our Special “Too Close to Call” E-dition, The Blower said, “If Hillary had won by 83 votes, the media would’ve called it a landslide!” and in our Special “Diversity Uber Alles” E-dition, The Blower said, “Never Giving Conservatives An Even Break!”
FRIDAY (May 22), in our Special “Pre-Memorial Day Weekend Getaway” E-dition, The Blower said, “We Getting Ready For Something Really Patriotic,” and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (May 23) in our Special “Distaste of Cincinnati” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s like we always say: There’s no accounting for ‘Taste!’ ” and in our Special “Memorial Day Weekend Marathon” E-dition, The Blower said, “Remembering the People Who Fought For What We Have!”
You Can’t Say You Aren’t Getting Your Money’s Worth!
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE MEMORIAL DAY STORY THIS WEEKEND was when Obama assessed his war on ISIS after the group overtook the key Iraqi city of Ramadi, claiming his strategy against the terrorists isn’t failing. Unfortunately for Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS, only 18% of Americans agree with him.
OUR NUMBER TWO MEMORIAL DAY STORY THIS WEEKEND was when Gasoline prices crept up another few cents to the highest levels of the year this weekend, but it will also be the cheapest Memorial Day for drivers in five years. “Generally, we should be peaking now. I don’t personally think we’re going to see this huge crazy drop in gas prices. I think we saw one in 2012 in June, but I think the big drop comes after Labor Day,” said Tom Kloza, head global analyst at Oil Price Information Service.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE MEMORIAL DAY STORY THIS WEEKEND was when politicians began busting their bandwidth sending out e-mails to tell everybody how patriotic they are, even Disingenuous DemocRATS like Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown. The Blower says maybe we should invite all the politicians we know to a barbecue.
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us how the Clinton Crime Family disclosed millions in additional payments were taken under pessure.
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
Internet-media mogul Matt Drudge heavily skewered Republican leadership on Twitter Friday night, after the GOP-led Senate approved enhanced trade negotiating authority for President Barack Obama. “Twisted DC: Electing Republicans is guarantee of MORE powers for Obama… of course none of them read ‘secret’ bill!” Drudge tweeted.
The Drudge Report founder then set his sights on Speaker of the House John Boehner who expressed support for the trade bill after the Senate’s passage. Calling it “the Night of the Republican Suicide,” Drudge said if the GOP loses in 2016 it can be “traced to tonight’s trade deception.”
The 2016 Elections will not only be about correcting ALL of Obama’s mistakes and attempting to secure fair reporting from the Liberal news media, but it would also be making sure Republicans got the leadership they had voted for, as the next 534 days will be the most important period in American History for a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
But as The Blower predicted, news coverage will continue to be Biased and Dishonest to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, and watching Boehner and McConnell these days is enough to make some Real Republicans say “Screw it,” and become Libertarians, as if that would do any good.
Meanwhile, other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards. Racial Healing Update
Steven Crowder says it’s time to put your learning hats on, because we’re going to take you through the modern Social Justice Warrior (#SJW for short) dictionary. Thug is the new “N” word, “riot” is inherently racist, and “terrorism” doesn’t actually mean... terrorism.
Yes, this is actually what people on the left believe. They protest over it, in fact. But what about average, every day people on the street? Not even necessarily Liberals or Conservatives. Just normal, every day people. Do they buy into this crap? The answers may surprise you.
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award Committee
says Hillary should recuse herself from the competition, because she appears to have an unfair advantage.
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Pastor Chuck Baldwin says Political Correctness is not merely an expression of opinion; it is the denial of anyone else holding a differing opinion–or even personally-held moral and religious convictions. It is exactly what Thomas Jefferson detested and personally opposed; it is “tyranny over the mind of man.”
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.”
The Feck Stops Here
This week Southwest Ohio Regional Transit Authority board member Jack Painter made a reference to Adolf Hitler while questioning whether the agency should join a national environmental program, and Feckless Fishwrapper reporter Jason Williams came all unglued. If only he hadn’t woken up at that moment, there would’ve been nothing to report.
That’s right, because during Tuesday’s monthly board meeting, TEA Party Guy Jack Painter dared to ask if SORTA knew what it was getting into by joining a public transportation organization’s sustainability program. The program looks fine, Painter told board members, but needs more scrutiny because it could be part of a bigger “climate change movement,” something he opposes.
Then TEA Party Guy Jack Painter used the example of a kid joining a youth group that initially appeared to teach good values and character, but once the child “got out into the woods, he found out it was the Hitler Youth movement.”
But Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin said TEA Party Guy Jack Painter should not have apologized; he had nothing to apologize for, as his analogy was accurate and to the point. Millions of German kids did, in fact, become True Believers in Hitler’s totalitarian Reich because they were misled — duped, fooled, seduced — by what was popular, what seemed to be good, and what those “in authority” — like Joseph Goebbels — were promoting with all their might.
For stating the truth about the “national environmental program” in question, TEA Party Guy Jack Painter should be the receiver, not the giver, of apologies — apologies from dim-witted, politically correct, enviro-marxists including the likes of our bewildered County Commissioners.
Meanwhile, our Feckless Fishwrappers will still be promoting all the Liberal Causes, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Angry Andersonians
Thursday’s UPDATE reported “Bold and unprecedented action” continued to astound those watching the Forrest Gump School Board execute their plan of self-destruction. Luckily for them, a suitable replacement for “Smiling Dallas” Jackson was available. This keeps them on track after the unfortunate revelation that the board’s previous hire was a bust and only could manage to prematurely self-destruct himself. Forrest Gump found another candidate with the talent and experience to put the spin on their expensively valueless facilities plan.
Mr. Tom Durbin’s resignation from his previous job in New Richmond included a self-congratulation letter, printed in this article.
In this resignation letter, one of Mr. Durbin’s self-proclaimed accomplishments was: “During the past five years, the high school facade has been replaced which included new walls, windows, and ventilator units at a cost of approximately $2.2 million dollars. Currently the high school is undergoing a renovation of the interior rooms which includes removal of asbestos contained in the ceiling and floor tiles. Classroom lights are also being replaced and the estimated cost will be around $2 million when the project is completed. The high school will be renovated for approximately $4.2 million which is approximately 10% of what a new building would cost.”
In the real world, asbestos removal is “remediation” not “renovation.” In the real world, 10% of new is “patch and repair” or “required maintenance” not “renovation.”
Gumpsters reacted with joy at the incredible good fortune of finding someone who could portray 10 times the value for their monstrous levy. Board President Randy Smith said “Now I can call this ‘Randy’s Million Dollar School Renovation!’ during my reelection campaign this fall.” (Well, we’re only guessing he might have said that since the hiring discussions were held in secret.)
Other candidates for the superintendent’s job were not mentioned in press articles announcing the new hire. Really, who would even apply? Rich Neumann?
In Northern Kentucky
BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says that Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy “Crazy Eric” (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) is really celebrating during the Memorial Day Holiday after reading the latest about a couple of cases that don’t seem to be going “Crazy Eric’s” way. First, there was this little Insurance Subrogation Case where the Court of Appeals affirmed the judgment against Deters in a case in which he kept the proceeds of a settlement that should have been paid to his clients’ insurance carrier. He’s back on the hook for roughly $80k and counting. [You can read that Judgment Entry HERE.]
Then there’s another new malpractice case recently filed. It’s vintage “Crazy Eric” claiming “I’m so smart I don’t even need to read the contract to know what your rights are.” This Northern Kentucky case includes all of the trademark Deters’ incompetence, swagger, ignorance, and bellicosity Judges on both sides of the river have come to know and love over the years. It’s amazing: The complaint says “he essentially destroyed his client’s $500,000 business.”
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago,” Conan O’Brien’s “Obama has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama now has as many followers as the Republicans have presidential candidates.” And Seth Meyers’ “Hillary Clinton’s Super PAC has reportedly been struggling to raise money. It’s gotten so bad, they may have to start reaching out to Americans.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the new Republican-led Congress is drawing harsh reviews from the public – including most Republicans. Just 23% of Americans say congressional Republicans are keeping the promises they made during last fall’s campaign, while 65% say they are not.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says when Major League Baseball’s first-ever night game was played under the newly installed lights at Crosley Field on this date in 1935, the Cincinnati Reds beat the Philadelphia Phillies 2-1. Coincidentally, that was the exact score the Reds lost by when they lost their seventh straight game in Cleveland on Saturday.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Cincinnati Reds Manager Bryan Price National League record number of times a major league manager used the word “fuck” during his expletive-laden rant against a deserving member of the news media like C. Trent Rosencrans.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy #149 is name the three shortest books in the world:
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Rahm Emanuel
“Humility and Its Virtues” by Barack Obama
And “What the Constitution Means to Me” by Nancy Pelosi
JOHN GALT says “Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seek nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions. “
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for what used to be the Drive-in Movie Season, we found this licentious limerick by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Remembering When,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Springtime Surprise”
A no-bra blouse
No underpants
A fleeting breeze
Its favor grants.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “THANKS FOR THE MEMORIAL,” everybody was getting ready for the big upcoming Memorial Day Weekend, and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were talking about how they were going exploit the occasion, as if there was ever a holiday they wouldn’t exploit. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says over Obama’s Long Hot Summer Riot Season Has Not Even Started, which is probably why, Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Loretta Lynchmob replacing Obama’s Resigned-in-Disgrace Racist Black Attorney General Eric Holder came to town last week to scout locations for future riots. It’s all part of Obama’s Divisive Racial Policy, falsely claiming to be an attempt to reform policing practices and improve frayed relations between law enforcement agencies and the minority community.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES reports Investors Business Daily says Stocks barely touched the brakes Friday as the market coasted into a three-day weekend. The Nasdaq was essentially flat, while the S&P 500 and the Dow Jones industrial average trimmed 0.2% and 0.3%, respectively. Volume fell across the board, which allowed the S&P 500 to dodge distribution.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and The Blower reports it didn’t look like anybody was offering an illegal discount or a freebie to voters on Tuesday in Kentucky because so few people went to the polls.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he had really been offered an honorary knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II when she and the Royal Family were in Kentucky twenty-three years ago this weekend, like it said in Edition #51 of the Whistleblower. “Of course,” Kane explained. “You know everything you read in The Blower is true.” Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us Prince Charles dubbing Kane thrice at the ceremony in Lexington.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (May 25) we’ll be celebrating Memorial Day, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 606 Days of Dishonesty for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
Tuesday (May 26) will be our “Post-Memorial Day Stress” E-dition and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be seeking some relief.
Wednesday (May 27) we might publish of More Memorializing” E-dition, because one day each year just isn’t enough.
Thursday (May 28) we’ll be checking to see if any of our Republicans have summoned up the courage to use the word “Impeachment.”
The first line of Friday’s (May 29) limerick is: The first line of Friday’s (May 23) limerick is: “Paying nearly three dollars for a gallon of gas.”
And Saturday (May 30) we’ll probably be bashing Political Correctness, just for fun.
Remember:
We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially our local racial racketeers, after Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception said the City looks like it’s “Gone With the Wind,” with a Mostly Minority Member Cast starring Chief Blackwell and Loretta Lynchmob, with Traci “I Doesn’t Know Nothin’ About Birthin’ Babies” Hunter on the left and bearded Mayor John Cranley trying to pull his own weight on the right.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Tonight’s National Memorial Day Concert
Sunday, May 24, only on PBS
(Sent in Whistleblower War Hero Ollie Hackworth, one of the survivors of that “Three Against a Thousand Massacre, a tale of valor told many times in The Blower.”
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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