Sunday, April 26, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (April 20), in our Annual “Patriots’ Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Now It’s Time for Something Completely Patriotic,” in our Special “Old TV Game Show” E-dition, The Blower said, “Are you as smart as a TV show panelist?,” and in our Special “Boston Marathon” E-dition, The Blower said, “Increased Security Has Become the New Normal.”
TUESDAY (April 21), in our Special “Earth Day Eve” E-dition, The Blower said, “And Global Warming is still a bunch of Liberal Crap! and in our Special “Employer Warning” E-dition The Blower said, “Tomorrow is Secretary’s Day!”
WEDNESDAY (April 22), in our Special “Phony Job Titles” E-dition, The Blower said, “What’s so bad about being a secretary anyway?” and in our Special “Annual “Ecological Warning” Issue, The Blower said, “Liberal Politicians Are Using All the Mud!”
THURSDAY (April 23), in our Annual “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “But what if your mom’s a hooker?,” in our Special “F-Bomb Alert” E-dition, The Blower said, “Reds Manager Drops 77 F-bombs in Tirade of Biblical Proportions,” and in our Special “Angry Andersonian Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “School Board Members Are Really Covering Their Asses!”
FRIDAY (April 24) in our Special “Fools in Schools” E-dition, The Blower said, “The Cover-up Countdown Has Already Begun,” and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (April 25) in our Special “Political Liars Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “You can always tell because their lips are moving!,” in our Special “Conservative Commentary” E-dition, The Blower said, “Our Weekend Countdown Continues.” and in our Special “Superintendent Suspense” E-dition, The Blower said, “Will He Be Fired Or Will He Resign?”
Would you look at all those E-ditions? No wonder we’re so tired!
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE WHISTLEBLOWER STORY THIS WEEK was when Channel 9 Reporter Dan Carroll told us why Scandal Plagued Forrest Gump Schools Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” couldn’t stop smiling. Probably because he was thinking about the lovely parting gifts he’ll get according to that Contract given to him by the generous Forrest Gump School District Board Members (Forest Heis, M.D.; Randy Smith; Jim Frooman; Julie Bissinger; and Tony Hemmelgarn).
OUR NUMBER WHISTLEBLOWER STORY THIS WEEK was when Cincinnati Reds Manager Bryan Price set a National League record for the number of times a major league manager used the word “fuck” during his expletive-laden rant against a deserving member of the news media like C. Trent Rosencrans.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE WHISTLEBLOWER STORY THIS WEEK was during Bruce Jenner’s interview with Diane Sawyer when the Celebrity Transgender Woman not only proudly admitted to being a Republican, but he also offered to donate his balls to Obama.
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us Bill Clinton Told Hillary She Would Get Two Million More Votes if He Died
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
Ohio RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman, who’s trailing Former Gayvenor Strickland in the Polls, joined the DemocRAT Caucus to approve Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Nominee Loretta Lynch to replace Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Eric Holder, even after Lynch dodged questions whether she would investigate Hillary’s E-Mail Scandal. Ironically, wasn’t that the same kind of vote that lost DeWhine his Ohio Senate seat?
The 2016 Elections should be about correcting ALL of Obama’s mistakes.
The next 562 days will be the most important period in American History for a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
As The Blower predicted, news coverage continues to be Biased and Dishonest, with the same depth you see on all those inane Twitters and Entertainment Tonight shows to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
Meanwhile, other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award is
Obama’s Disgraced Former Black Racist Attorney General Eric Holder, who claims “Historians will view my tenure as the “Golden Age” of the Justice Department. What a total load of Crap!
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Fox News Channel host Greg Gutfeld reacted to the cancellation of a screening of “American Sniper” at the University of Maryland by suggesting all films should be banned for the sake of political correctness on Friday’s broadcast of “The Five.”
“Another ‘American Sniper’ screening, at [the] University of Maryland has been cancelled after Muslim students claimed it ‘perpetuates the spread of Islamophobia, and is offensive to many Muslims around the world for good reason.’ What’s that reason? Well, when you’re a baby, who needs one?” Gutfeld said.
He continued, “campus petitions have only one goal, exert pressure against whatever hurts their little feelings. But really, who’s more cowardly? Coddled students who cannot bear different views, or those who folded before this whinerwagon? They deserve each other.” [READ MORE HERE]
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.”
The Feck Stops Here
On Friday, the City of Cincinnati organized a send-off for the local plaintiffs fighting for Sodomy Rites in Ohio, Kentucky, Michigan and Tennessee, because on Tuesday the Supreme Court hears arguments on what could be two local landmark issues: does the 14th amendment require states to issue homosexual marriage licenses and does it mean states have to recognize homosexual marriage licenses from other states?
Diminutive Demagogue DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley ordered the Gay Flag flown at Cincinnati City Hall on Friday as he delivered his now famous “Ich bin ein Faggot” speech (It was Faaabulous!) and about 30 gay wads gathered on City Hall’s steps for yet another Sodomy Rites photo op for our Local Kneepad Liberals in the Press. Tuesday will be proclaimed “We’re All Gay in Cincinnati” Day and The Blower already can already predict what the front page of The Fishwrap will look like.
Of course our Nine Fine Clowns and Feckless Fishwrappers will be overlooking such blatant Liberal Bias, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Angry Andersonians
There will be an “I’m As Mad As Hell, And I’m Not Going to Take This Anymore” Rally prior to Monday’s school board cover-up meeting. Angry Andersonians can get their free “AAABSSSB” (Angry Andersonians Against Bull Shit Superintendents and School Boards) T-shirts while they last.
Please sign the campaign finance complaint against the school board for Jackson’s bond levy scam. We will be filing it immediately if they don’t send the superintendent packing. We might just file it anyway, especially if the school board offers any more bullshit excuses for their cover-up and foot-dragging.
The Show Them The Door subcommittee membership is full. We really appreciate the massive volunteer response. Plans for the school board election in November are already underway. We have agreed to coordinate efforts with GTFOOOA (Get Those Fuckers Out Of Office Already).
Also in Anderson
Despite the drizzle, a vocal crowd appeared to hear the Park Board’s so-called explanations for plans to waste $20 million on developing Johnson Hills Park. The rain didn’t quash the flames of the heated debates between Park Board representatives and several members of the public.
Considerable shouting and accusations regarding Park Board lies dominated the discussions.
The Frisbee Golf group showed up in force, even though only one of them lives in Anderson Township. They seem particularly pleased that plans to build their course are listed as a priority of “Phase 1.” Even though the majority of people attending opposed the plans, the Park Board will once again ignore public input and announce widespread public support to develop that property.
It was really ugly, which is the first time The Blower has ever heard that term in connection to Johnson Hills Park.
In Northern Kentucky
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo says there’s “no early voting” in Kentucky for the upcoming May 19 Primary Elections. We only have absentee voting.
To get an absentee ballot, voters have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. Applicants must state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else.
It’s not like Ohio where you can go “vote early and often” just because Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons told you to, and in Kentucky, Deceased DemocRATS are expected to vote on Election Day, along with everybody else.
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s: “Today is Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, also known as No Work Gets Done Day. It is a great opportunity to teach your kids why you come home miserable every night, and “I wonder if anyone has ever been fired on ‘take your kid to work day.’ Just imagine, ‘Ron, will you and your daughter step into my office please?’ That would be a lesson about what it is like to work.” TVJ also liked newcomer James Corden’s “Today is ‘Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.’ Or as Woody Allen calls it, ‘Take Your Wife to Work Day.’ ”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says just 32% of voters now think the country is heading in the right direction. Twice as many (62%) believe America’s on the wrong track. That’s consistent with weekly findings for the past couple years. Perhaps the continuing pessimism is due in part to a belief, as Ronald Reagan once put it, that government is the problem, not the solution. Most voters (62%) still prefer a smaller government with fewer services and lower taxes over a larger one with more services and higher taxes. That’s in line with surveys for years. Only 27% prefer a larger government instead. [READ MORE HERE]
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on on this date in 1984, Ronald Reagan visited Communist China. Today, Obama and Congress continue to increase your grandchildren’s indebtedness to Beijing. Have you checked our “Debt Clock”lately?
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose The Gipper’s “We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #56 says you should give them another reason why Obama has GOT to go. Say “It’s not because he’s boring, but because all he says are platitudes and lies.”
GOING GALT means taking the John Galt Pledge. Let’s all say it together: “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the warm spring weather, we found this in his “Tulips and Trollops,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Salute to Style”
The pants today are worn so low
It makes you really wonder
If she wants to tell you
She’s wearing nothing under.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “PATRIOTIC POLITICIANS,” “FAMILY FRIENDLY,” we learned how our three family-friendly county commissioners were commemorating Bring “Your Children to Work Day.” This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER wonders why the number of new HIV infections is growing in Indiana, just after all the homosexuals descended on the Hoosier State last month to protest Republican Governor Mike Pence signing a Homophobic Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law that protected people who live their daily lives according to their faith against government discrimination. In a related item, when a Christian refuses a gay couple’s bakery request, it’s a hate crime, but when a Chri
It’s ironic that some Black DemocRAT elected officials are now pitching the idea that gay rights are civil rights. Ironic, because Black preachers (the leaders actually IN the communities) have vocally and repeatedly called out the differences between generationally segregated, under-educated, marginalized, physically obviously African-Americans in contrast to college-educated over-styled rich white pud-obsessed pantywaists; who believe that by shouting out who they are sleeping with and broadcasting it to everyone far and wide, somehow makes them deserving of a victim status equivalent to Klan harassed, dog bitten, burned out, cast out, captured, whipped, enslaved, sold and isolated African Americans! But in a world where words mean more than actions, as long as you can articulate your difference successfully, you can create your own victim status!
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says The New York Times reports Stocks advanced slightly Friday as investors cheered the quarterly results of three large technology companies: Google, Microsoft and Amazon. The modest gains helped close out a relatively strong week for U.S. stocks, with the three major indexes rising between 1.4 and 3.2 percent in five days. The Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index and the Nasdaq closed at new nominal highs. Investors now prepare for the biggest week of earnings season. Next week, more than 150 companies in the S&P 500 will report their results, including market-moving names like Apple, Ford, Visa, Pfizer and Exxon Mobil.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Business Owners Beware: Offering a discount or a freebie to voters on Primary Election Day (May 5 in Ohio, May 19 in Kentucky) is illegal. But despite a clear federal ban on such activities, they’ve only proliferated in recent years.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were all asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how all those political liars were celebrating Political Liars Day on Saturday. “It’s easy to tell when Politicians are lying on Political Liars Day just like on any other day, it’s whenever their lips are moving.” Kane explained “Next week we’ll be celebrating Honesty Day,” Kane added. “Coincidence? We think not!”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (April 27) we’ll be getting ready for our Annual Honesty Day celebration later in the week, as well as continuing to count down the 634 unproductive days for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
Tuesday (April 28) we’ll be getting listening to the Liberal Arguments for Sodomy Rites at the Supreme Court, and trying not to act surprised when we see The Fishwrap’s Totally Gay Edition, and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will try not to be overcome with all that sensitivity.
Wednesday (April 29) we’ll be and we’ll try to remind you not to call them “gals” on Secretary’s Day.
Thursday (April 30) is this year’s Real Honesty Day, and The Blower will be as truthful as ever.
The first line of Friday’s (May 1) limerick is: “Here’s what happened to the Reds this year.”
And Saturday (May 2) we’ll be getting ready for Sunday’s Press Freedom Day, and you can be sure The Blower will be taking advantage of that.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially members of the Forrest Gump School Board.
Also Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows Portman Up-Close-and-Personal with Another Sodomy Rites Supporter.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
How Liberals Argue
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Pervert Defending Attorney James “The Rock” Bogen [96 Mutual Friends, including Judge Steve “Wild and Crazy Guy” Martin and Maggie Cook], who says the proudest day of his life was when Ditzy DemocRAT Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter fired him as her lawyer.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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