Special “The Week That Was” E-dition

Sunday, March 23, 2013

The Whistleblower Week in Review

  • image006OUR NUMBER ONE BIG INTERNATIONAL NEWS STORY THIS WEEK was how for the past two weeks we’ve all been playing “Where in the World Is Malaysian Flight 370,” as the mystery surrounding the fate of that missing jetliner continues to intensify with each passing day.
  • OUR NUMBER TWO BIG INTERNATIONAL NEWS STORY THIS WEEK was when Whistleblower Film Critic Ebert Maltin said it was as if we’re living inside the plot of one of those old James Bond movies.
  • AND OUR NUMBER THREE BIG INTERNATIONAL NEWS STORY THIS WEEK was On Wednesday, Obama said solving the mystery of the missing Malaysia Flight 370 mystery was a “top priority,” just like finding the murderers of the Americans at Benghazi, chemical weapons in Syria, and the folks at the IRS responsible for targeting TEA Party Patriots during his 2012 Re-election Campaign.  The Blower thinks the only way you’ll know Obama’s really serious would be for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to direct the FBI to assign Mulder and Sculley of “X-Files” fame to find out what happened?
  • MONDAY in our Official “Wearin’ of the Green” E-dition, The Blower asked if Trish the Dish really said it doesn’t look like Spring because St. Patrick didn’t see his shadow:

         image009 If only Saint Patrick were alive today, he could stop in at the White House, Congress, your State House, every city hall and courthouse in the tri-state, and especially at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, where we need to get rid of some of the biggest snakes in history. And if he could a couple of spare minutes, he could also do something about the League of Women Vipers. He could’ve always stop by on Thursday night to see if Kevin O’Brien shows up at the Anderson Township Trustees meeting for old times sake, too. With a wave of his staff, he could give this traditional Irish Blessing, and what a wonderful world it would be:

“May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm on your face. The rains fall soft upon your fields, and, until we meet again, and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

image010Hurley the Historian says today is officially St. Patrick’s Day in Greater Cincinnati. That’s when people of Irish descent will have too much to drink, or as former Cincinnati Mayor Quisling Charlie Luken calls it, “Monday.” Quisling wants to make St. Patrick’s Day a real holiday, where people who drink too much can stay home and get paid for their hangovers. Charlie Windbag was having his volunteers call around to find 10 white people to march with him in the St. Patrick’s Day parade this weekend to try to offset the 632 black people he already had coming. Downtown street vendors were selling Shamrock bracelets made of pure Irish gold. How could you tell? Your arm turned green as soon as you put them on. 

[READ MORE HERE]

  • TUESDAY in our Special “St. Patrick’s Day Hangover” E-dition, The Blower asked if Casual Racism Against the Irish was OK and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

 image012If only Saint Patrick were alive today, he could stop in at the White House, Congress, your State House, every city hall and courthouse in the tri-state. —Harry the Herpetologist

Yesterday was officially St. Patrick’s Day in Greater Cincinnati. That’s when people of Irish descent have too much to drink, or as former Cincinnati Mayor Quisling Charlie Luken calls it, “Monday.” —Hurley the Historian

Why weren’t there more Black Irish people marching in last weekend’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade? —Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston  

The best part of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade was seeing Erin Go Bra-less. —Horny Hibernians

[READ MORE HERE]

  • WEDNESDAY in our Special “Remembering Shock and Awe” E-dition, The Blower explained that Bush called it “Operation Iraqi Freedom!”

And It Looks Like Putin is Using the Same Strategy on Obama Today

            image015Hurley the Historian says on this date in 2003, the War in Iraq began with a shock-and-awe pyrotechnic display over Baghdad, and Defeatist DemocRATS in Congress immediately said the war had gone on too long and the response on the U.S. military was “disproportionate,” whatever in the hell that means.

Today, the nation is waiting for the apocalypse in Crimea after Russia ignored Obama’s threats and Kerry’s groveling and asserted its diplomatic and military muscle as tensions remained high ahead of a Sunday vote on secession in Crimea. Sunday’s vote was 96.8 % in favor of ignoring Alfred E. Obama. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Real Republicans could use that same shock-and-awe strategy to attack Obama’s base of support, even before the 2014 elections in only 230 more days.

MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON: Our DC Newsbreaker reports Obama’s White House Press Dweeb Jay Cardboard says not to worry about Obama’s humiliation on the world stage these days, because this year the NCAA March Madness Men’s Basketball Tournament began the day after St. Patrick’s Day, and everybody was waiting to see Obama’s “Sweet 16” Health Care Brackets.  Equally as stupid, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP tweeted his own time-wasting NCAA Bracket Challenge, where the winner gets a FREE lunch, probably not at Liz Roger’s Mahogany Soul Food Restaurant, which may not still be open when the tournament’s over.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • THURSDAY, in our Special “BB & BJ Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “This year, Ladies, give your guy what he really wants!”

Happy BB & BJ Day, Everybody!

THE MEANING OF “BB”: Debbie Darling in the Whistleblower Research Department says The Blower might want to print this illustration in today’s e-dition for “Trish the Dish,” Sheree Paleontology, and anyone else who is not familiar with “BB & BJ Day.”  Darling Debbie found it on the net while trying to find out just exactly what “BB” stands for. You won’t believe how many people have asked the same question.

image017THE URBAN DICTIONARY describes Steak and Blowjob Day as a holiday for men, celebrated the month after Valentine’s Day — a holiday for women.

The idea is simple: no cards, flowers, candy or other whimsical gifts. Ladies (and gay men), you simply bestow your partner with a steak and a blowjob. Not necessarily in that order.

For example
Dave: “Hey Bob, what did Sally get you for Steak and Blowjob Day?”

Bob: “Well Dave, that would be a big juicy steak, and a big juicy blowjob.”

In Anderson, Gerth Pappas, who’s been counting down the days until BB & BJ Day ever since his last B and B, explains the premise behind Steak and Blow Job Day follow gift-giving protocol from Valentine’s Day: If a man treats his wife, girl-friend or significant other to sweets, flowers, jewelry and/or dinner to make her feel special on Cupid’s holiday, then she should return the favor on March 20 with juicy oral sex and a succulent steak. If the man’s a dud, then keep your mouths closed dear ladies as he should not be the recipient of your sexual favors and cooking prowess.

The guys at PocketFives (whatever the hell that is) say are now celebrating  “Steak, Beer, Blow Job & Shut the Fuck Up Day.” Simple, effective and self-explanatory…this holiday has been created so you ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him.

Again, no cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town, the name of the
holiday explains it all…just a steak, beer, a blow job and afterward just keep your fucking mouth shut for the rest of the day! That’s it!

[READ MORE HERE] 

  • FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editrix:

image019Why, it’s none other than American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart, whom Hurley the Historian says, disappeared over the central Pacific Ocean near Howland Island on July 2, 1937 during an attempted around-the-world flight in a Purdue-funded Lockheed Model 10 Electra.

That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting the Fairer Sex during Flying Women’s History Month, is pleased to select Amelia to be this week’s guest aviatrix/ editrix and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Amelia’s: “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.”

NOTE: The Village of Amelia, Ohio in Clermont County was not named for Amelia Earhart. It was named in honor of a well-known and popular tollgate operator on the Ohio Turnpike.

[READ MORE HERE]  

  • SATURDAY in our Special “March Madness” E-dition, The Blower said, “All that hype will allow!”

More Sports Cliches

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says this week has been one of the best ever for local basketball fans, what with six Tri-State teams making it to the 2014 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament— UC, Xavier, Ohio State, Dayton, Kentucky, and Louisville. Now let’s see how many of our local losers make it to the second round. In Anderson, Flags were flown at half staff after Xavier and UC lost.

March Madness showcases the best of college sports. Unfortunately, last year’s installment of the Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament also highlighted the worst in wasteful government spending, according to the Taxpayers Protection Alliance. The $2.7 billion price tag associated with the arenas used during last year’s NCAA tournament may give March Madness a maddening new meaning for over-taxed payers, whose March Madness Brackets look something like this.

OBAMA’S NCAA 2014 TOURNAMENT BRACKETS: Once again demonstrating his preposterous political priorities, before sending another sternly worded warning to Bad Vlad Putin, Obama sent Mooch, the kids, and grandma on an over-taxed payer funded vacation to China, went on the Ellen Degenerate TV Show to promote ObamaCare, and submitted his 2014 March Madness Brackets for the sixth straight year (Still No Budget). Obama picked Louisville, Florida, Arizona, and Michigan State to reach the Final Four. But The Blower wants to know how much U.S. Over-taxed payers had to borrow to from the Chinese just to pay for Obama’s Presidential Bracket Display.

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[READ MORE HERE]

More Women’s History Month Political Insight This Weekend 

  • image022FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS:  Wednesday, The Blower predicted PMSNBC Race Baiter Al Sharpton would show up in Cincinnati on Thursday to campaign for Local Race Baiter Stevecia Race’s so-called Ohio Voters Bill of Rights Bill that would allow all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, to stand in line posing for photographs by our Kneepad Liberals in the Press during all 35-day days of an early voting period with extended early voting hours where no voter identification would ever be required. 

image018Were we ever surprised when The Fishwrap published Jeff Swinger’s photograph (ABOVE) showing Sharpton hugging Melowese Richardson, the Dishonest DemocRAT Hamilton County Poll Worker who recently got an early release from the slammer after being sentenced to five years for Voter Fraud when she used her position as a poll worker to vote for Obama more than once in the 2012 presidential election. The only thing that would’ve made the event better would’ve been if Race Panderer Sharpton’s phony rape victim Tawana Brawley had also been introduced and applauded. No wonder this “Woman Convicted of Voter Fraud Honored by DemocRATS” story is making national news.

VOTE OFTENHamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka and Executive Director Caleb Faux should’ve been almost as proud of Thursday’s So-Called “Voting Rights” Event that Honored a Woman Convicted of Voting Fraud, as organizers of Alison Wondergams Grimes’ fundraiser in Louisville last month that featured Disgraced Former Pants Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton.  The Fishwrap story also failed to note what Duplicitous DemocRAT First District Congressional Candidate Fred Kundrata (who got 3% of the vote running against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup as a Republican 2012) thought about the Voter Fraud in his new political Party.

image023Saturday, Sharon Coolidge (D., Fishwrap) really laid it on thick about the trials and tribulations those Dumbed-Down Dems suffered when they drove downtown to ride on a bus to the proposed new County Board of Elections in Mount Airy, just to show how difficult it would be for somebody without a car to get there to vote in person. Sharon says it took the group an hour and a half, one bus transfer, $2.25, and a half-mile walk from the closest bus stop to the proposed site.

Oh, the Diversity of it all! Slapping a 49-cent stamp (or however much postage the instructions tell you to put on the envelope) to mail in your absentee ballot sounds more intelligent every day. 

  • image025HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1888, Vincent Van Gogh chopped off his ear and gave it to a prostitute, but today streetwalkers outside the new Horseshoe Casino in Downtown Cincinnati will still take cash.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s “It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.”
  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says “Incumbents, Beware: Just 29% Think You Deserve Reelection to Congress.”
  • DUMBED-DOWN DEMOCRATS: This weekend, Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose ordered their FREE “Not a Republican” Cat Magnet, and it only cost them another $10 donation.
  • image027IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says everybody’s talking about how Alison Wondergams Grimes’ campaign is really making a BFD about those really stupid “wordless” TV commercials Bitch McConnell has been running. To show just how stupid those McConnelling ads are, The Blower didn’t bother to show them to you. But we guess anything is a good enough reason to e-mail supporters asking for another donation. 

Also, it was time to ramp up the ole’ campaign caravan in Boondoggle County again this past weekend. Gary “No More Moore” was seen at 2 1/2 fish fries Friday night. He tried to make the third one and only had time to go thru the drive-thru and hand out pictures of himself to the order boys. On Saturday, he had time to attend Crossroads in Florence at 5:00 and just make it in the nick of time to the 7:00 service at Seven hills off Turfway. Sunday, was a busy day as well. First off was his usual stop, Florence Baptist (more on that in a minute). In the afternoon, he had time to attend a baptism at All Saints in Walton and in the evening he attended a revival service at Hebron Baptist church where he ran in to Cathy Flaig, so they sat together and after church they shared a shake at Sonic. He was highly offended when he arrived at Florence Baptist earlier in the morning. Upon entering the church, he was greeted by a smiling usher that asked him, “Hi there, are visiting you with us today and would you like some information on our church?” Moore replied,  “Don’t you remember me? It has only been four years.

ARKAnswers in Genesis CEO Ken Ham says construction will be begin in May on the 510-foot-long replica of Noah’s Ark in northern Kentucky. The Blower hopes somebody will explain how long a cubit is.

  • FREE NEEDLES UPDATE: Next week at the Ohio Senate Health Committee Meeting, do you think Free Needles for Heroin Addicts will be discussed?
  • MORE LOCAL LOSERS: Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall wonders if it’s an unwritten rule that Cincinnati Sports Teams like the Reds, Bungals, Bearcats, Muskies, and Ohio State are always supposed to lose the first post-season playoff game.
  • IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Religious liberty has been in the news a lot recently. The Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) has made headlines and sparked debate. Unfortunately, rather than contribute to quality discourse over the merits of RFRA bills throughout the country, some Ohio politicians have attacked religious freedom in order to earn cheap political points with the radical social agenda of their base. Last week, Ed FitzGerald (Dysfunctional DemocRAT candidate for Ohio Governor) and David Pepper (Dilatory DemocRAT candidate for Ohio Attorney General) took the opportunity to pile on and express their anti-religious freedom beliefs.
  • image028DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE COST: When Western Southern CEO John Barrett; Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP; and Hamilton County Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann flew to Washington on Friday to blow smoke about the Queen City’s being a “cool, convenient, and politically hot place to host the 2016 Republican National Convention,” how much money did they promise to raise? The Blower still can’t forget all our wet dreams when the City submitted its Olympic Bid. [READ MORE HERE]
  • CRAZY IN CLERMONT: State Rep-tile John Becker (R-Union Township) has introduced legislation that would allow drivers to flash their headlights to inform oncoming drivers of potential dangers, hazards, or other vehicles of interest. Would that also include police hiding around the next bend in the road?
  • image029APRIL FOOL’S EVENT: Disgraced DemocRAT Former President Jimmy Carter (the Second Worst President in History) may be scheduled to be at the Joseph-Beth Bisexual Bookstore in Norwood on April 1 for a book-signing event, but the Hamilton County RINO Party is also planning a fundraising Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP is calling his 2014 Judicial Salute, whatever the hell that is on the same date. The Greater Cincinnati Gay and Lesbian Film Commission will be celebrating that Lezzie Love Story being filmed at Maury’s Tiny Cove in Cheviot.

And an even stupider occurrence will also begin on April 1 this year. That’s when all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, will be able to stand in line for hours outside the Board of Elections instead of slapping a 49-cent stamp (or however much postage the instructions tell you to put on the envelope) to mail in their absentee ballots.   

  • image031LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #77 says: Instead of “Progressive,” always use the words “Oppressive” or “Regressive.” When called on this, feign puzzlement. “But how is it progress to steal free citizens’ liberties, money, and hope, and hand it all over to government bureaucrats?”
  • image032LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s, “A lot of time is wasted on office pools for the college basketball tournament. A global company said 50 million Americans participate in March Madness and companies stand to lose $1.2 billion every hour because of it. If that’s true, we need to get rid of it. President Obama shouldn’t be filling out brackets.”
  • image033NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this in his “Turning the Other Cheek,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves. 

Spring Fashions
The girls have started a fashion trend
Which I think is nuts
They drop their pants for some guy
To put a tattoo on their butts.

This includes all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

  • image042IN ANDERSON: Ohioans for Educational Freedom PAC has not endorsed State Rep-tile Peter $tautberg for re-election in the 27th Ohio House District. Dedicated to assisting the best possible candidates to an electable office, OEF believes it can make a difference, and has put its collective abilities together to preserve our core values and retain our moral fabric, which is probably why the group is endorsing Stautberg’s opponent. Word is $tautberg will also not be included among the Celebrity Wannabes currently  circulating petitions to get their names on the Whistleblower’s List of the 50 Most Fascinating People in Anderson to be announced later this year.
  • image044FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA:  Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s arguing about an elected official’s “Right to Lie” before the U.S. Supreme Court next month. “It’s right there in the Declaration of Independence,” Kane explained. “The Unalienable Rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Elected Office.”

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:  

  • image046Monday (March 24) we’ll be going on Spring Break, as well as continuing to count down the 1,034 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
  • Tuesday (March 25) we’ll be celebrating Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman’s one-year anniversary of announcing his son had been afflicted by The Gayness, and we’ll see what our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers have to say about that.
  • Wednesday, (March 26) we’ll be celebrating “Make Your Own Holiday Day,” which allows you to make today a special day for anything you want, and  our Good Friend Bobby Leach wonders if it’s OK to repeat BB&BJ Day.
  • Thursday (March 27) we’ll be celebrating the day in 19998 when Viagra became the first oral drug approved for use in the U.S. for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.
  • The first line of Friday’s (March 28) limerick is: “This year on the Reds’ Opening Day.”
  • And Saturday (March 29), we’ll be listening to everybody talk about how the Reds are going to win the World Series this year.

image052Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Gerth Pappas.

The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz

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WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

  Whistleblower Video of the Day

What Liberals Really Think about the TEA Party

image051(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Kathy Schockey Groob, [1,976 Friends, 31 Mutual Friends], Known Affectionately to Whistleblower Readers as our DemocRAT Dominatrix from Northern Kentucky)

image052Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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