Saturday, March 15, 2014
Happy Ides of March, Everybody!
The big day has finally arrived, and you Backstabbers will finally get some of the recognition you deserve. Hurley the Historian says today’s the historic date (March 15, 44 BCE) when Roman Emperor Julius Caesar ignored his soothsayer’s words of warning and went to work that day anyway, whereupon Brutus and the rest of the RINOs in the Senate stabbed him in the back, and the front, and just about every other place on his body.
All this week nominations have been flooding in for The Blower’s “2014 Backstabber of the Year Award.” Obama doesn’t need a special award. Anybody who’s not a Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, realizes Obama’s been stabbing America in the back for years, just like all those Obama Supporters in the Press.- In Congress, it was too hard to choose just one backstabber, because Conservatives watching the total wussification of GOP House Speaker John Boehner and Senate Surrender Caucus Leader Bitch McConnell, couldn’t decide who was worse.
- Ohio TEA Party Patriots totally favor giving Ohio’s ObamaCare-Loving Governor Kasich Taylor the honor.
Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann was pleased as punch to be Grand Marshal at the Backstabbers Day Parade on March 15, where led Clowncilman Flynn Flam and the rest of the Streetcar Six along the route of the Trolley Folly, and Cincinnati Clown-cilgay Chris Squealback says the St. Patrick’s Day Parade Committee stabbed all gay lovers in the back when they wouldn’t even invite Degenerate DemocRATS on City Clowncil to march in the parade, so all those gay lovers on Clowncil couldn’t boycott the parade, after the committee failed to allow Homosexual Hibernians to march again this year.- All over Hamilton County, Conservatives wanted to nominate RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP for backstabbing Real Republicans for even longer than Obama’s been backstabbing America.
In Anderson, Disgraced Former Masturbating Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien says all the voters who kicked him out of office were a bunch of no-go backstabbers, especially after State Rep-Tile Peter $tautberg (the best one money could buy) has made sure the law wasn’t changed so township voters wouldn’t impeach him, and tax hikers at the Forrest Gump School District wanted to honor Former WLW Hate Radio Guy Darryl Parks for telling his listeners “Anybody who votes for a school levy is stupid,” while Parks was nominating the Greedy Weasels at Clear Channel for throwing his ass out on the street during the coldest winter in local history.- In Northern Kentucky Tonight at Mainstrasse bars, Backstabbers drink free, and for those on the “A” List, it’s Miss Vicki’s Ides of March Party. And don’t forget, all of you Bluegrass Backstabbers, this year, it’s BYOK (Bring Your Own Knives).
Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Totally Disbarred Yet, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters nominated a lot of people for The Blower’s Backstabber of the Year Award, including Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders, The Whistleblower, Former American Bar Association President/ Now CVG Czar William T. Robinson III, the entire Bluegrass Bar Association, and Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” was doing for free.- Finally, at yesterday’s bribe lunch with an elected official where Charles Foster Kane always sits with his back against the wall, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher told the “bribor” he remembers every time somebody has ever tried to stab him in the back. “You’ve read The Blower,” Kane explained, “so you know what kind of records we must keep.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Deadbeat DemocRAT Mahogany’s Restaurant Owner Liz Rogers.
Mahogany restaurant’s owner deadbeat desperado Liz Rogers should be on the cover of MAD magazine under the motto of, “What, Me Worry?”
Old Liz doesn’t worry. Liz has a long, long history of whining and not paying her bills, totaling tens of thousands of dollars. She even refused to pay a small businessman who designed a web site for her, in the amount of around $4,000. She doesn’t mind not paying little guys or big guys. She gets away with it all.
The wimpy owners of the building housing Mahogany, NIC Riverbank One LLC and rental agent Jeffrey R. Anderson Real Estate of Norwood are child-like, falling for Liz’s various lying excuses and they’ve let her once again get away with not meeting her obligations, even though they tried to sound tough a couple of weeks ago. NIC Riverbank One are co-dependent and enablers. Are they equally as generous to their white tenants?
Liz’s crocodile tears have an effect on various people. On the city level, diminutive mayor John Cranley and chronic idiot Wendell Young and others bemoan Liz’s bad luck and the weather. It isn’t bad luck at all. It isn’t the weather. It isn’t even that imaginary business manager with no name Liz claims embezzled $80,000 from her. Liz simply lives high on the high on the hog and refuses to pay her bills. It’s been that way for years. Think that’s going to change?
The usual mopes jump in front of TV cameras to wail and rend their clothes about Liz. Examples are child-beater Sam Malone and that minister guy. Black tourists from Ft. Wayne, Indiana who were persuaded to visit her restaurant on just one occasion are smarter than those two, saying if they want soul food, they can cook it for themselves.
The only person who’s set a fire under deadbeat Liz is Butler County sheriff Richard K. Jones. He put her fat ass in the Butler County jail until her equally deadbeat husband Trent Rogers scurried in to the Butler County clerk in a matter of hours to pay that web site designer’s judgment bill. Hooray for Sheriff Richard K. Jones. Everybody else lets Liz get away with all her lies and her fake excuses.
As for Liz, a few people say she makes good peach cobbler and sweet potato muffins. Well, guess what, the peach cobbler isn’t even on the menu and the pumpkin muffins are dry, tough and not special at all. The fact is the restaurant’s food isn’t good and the service is terrible. It isn’t the weather, it’s Liz.
Oh, and what about the fantasy “financial” person who Liz recently said cheated her out of $80,000 over a year’s time. Yeah, right! Do you really believe there is such a person? People don’t cheat Liz; Liz cheats people.
“Your Money’s Worth” by James Jay Schifrin
This week in Patronage County, the Coalition Opposing Unemployed Politicians came up with the idea of electing nine county commissioners instead of three.
After the life squad left, the current commissioners told the media they’d have to study the matter before commenting. Then they held a closed-door meeting to discuss it.
“What timing,” said Commissioner Pilfer. “First we’re in trouble for giving ourselves pay raises while laying off county employees. Now they want to expand the board and dilute our power. The next thing you know they’ll be electing block captains.”
“We might even have to let someone from the other party in,” agonized Commissioner Filch.
“No problem,” said Commissioner Swindle. “We’ll still have control. We can cut a deal there.”
“But on top of that, they might expect us to hire a professional county manager,” argued Commissioner Filch.
“Maybe we’d have to set up a real personnel department. There goes the old patronage system. How do they expect men like us to stay in office?”
“It could be worse,” said Commissioner Swindle.
“Worse?” cried the others. “What could be worse than electing three times as many commissioners and paying us a lousy twelve grand, instead of our $32,000?”
“They could realize that’s all we’re worth and just keep the three of us and cut our pay by two-thirds,” Commissioner Swindle explained.
This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on March 18, 1981.
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