Thursday, March 13, 2014
More Historical Political Perspective
By now almost everybody’s heard about The Ides of March on March 15. It was an ancient festival celebrating the Roman God Mars that didn’t end up being too festive for Julius Caesar, though. In Shakespeare’s version of the story, Caesar was warned to “Beware the Ides of March.” On that fateful day, Caesar was literally stabbed in the back by Brutus, his supposed ally. In Shakespeare’s play, Caesar uttered the famous dying words, “et tu, Brute?” which, as everyone except a Failed Cincinnati Public School graduate might know, means, You too, Brutus?”
Other famous Backstabbers throughout history include Brett Favre, whose breathtaking 15-year career with the Green Bay Packers made him a golden boy among Packer fans. But Favre stabbed Packer fans in the back when he started playing for the New York Jets in 2008 after initially claiming that he simply wanted to “retire” from the Packers.
Benedict Arnold was a very promising colonial general during the American Revolution. Much to his displeasure, however, he was passed over for promotion by the Continental Congress in 1777 in spite of a sterling record and an honorably wounded leg. When he was given command of West Point in 1780, Arnold finalized his plans to not only defect, but also surrender his fortress to the British for the price of £20,000. Benedict Arnold was the original American Backstabber.
Then there’s the story of Judas Iscariot, one of the earliest and least popular accountants of all time, teaches us that even the nicest of guys have to watch their backs. And sides.
Until today in America, where Obama has now become our Backstabber in Chief. Have you ever noticed how we’ve all become more familiar with the term “thrown under the bus” since Barak Hussein Obama first began his campaign for President?
Legendary War Hero Oliver North is only the latest Conservative to use the dreaded “I-Word.” His exact phrase was, “If any other president had tried to do what Obama has done, he already would be impeached.” Unfortunately members of John Boehner’s RINO- Controlled House of Representatives, where Impeachment begins, are not made of sterner stuff.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1781 William Hershel discovered Uranus, but it should be obvious Obama still can’t get his head out of his ass.- NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Jay Leno’s “Liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25-to-life would be appropriate.”
- MISSING IN MALAYSIA: There’s still nary a clue about what happened to that missing Malaysian jetliner Flight 370, that vanished with 239 people on board. Don’t you think the FBI should assign Mulder and Sculley to find out what happened?
JUST IN TIME FOR WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH: The latest Progressive Political Pogrum has been launched by the Powers of Political Correctness against anyone who would use the word “Bossy” when referring to a woman. No Kidding! Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says you’ll probably see the “Ban Bossy Campaign” publicized almost as often as the utter unfairness that gay groups were not invited to take part in this year’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
In a related item, Our Good Friend Bobby Leach wonders if all those Bossy Bitches will be blowing off BB&BJ Day on March 20.
- PALM OIL DOES NOT CAUSE BLINDNESS: Tide-using Troublemaker Tino Delgato says nine Greenpeace activists got past security March 4 at Procter & Gamble’s Cincinnati headquarters.
They then hung large protest banners from the two P&G towers. They were protesting distribution of “Palm Oil” garnered at the expense of rain forests in South East Asia. All of these perpetrators are from out of state. I wonder how they got off work to do this protest. If they are convicted of all charges, they face the possibility of 9 ½ years in prison and a $20,000.00 fine. The reality is if this action had taken place in New York City they could have been shot due to terrorist concerns in that city. They did not use their collective heads on this one. A good adjudication would be for them to be sentenced to washing windows at night on both P&G towers, then the new Great American building, along with their new found felony record. They would not be allowed to use any palm oil. Their cause may be just but their actions were idiotic and careless. Go Figure!!! - ESCAPE FROM HAMILTON COUNTY: Is Hamilton County’s Double-Dipping Disingenuous Auditor stabbing other local officials in the back when he used his February 16 guest column in The Fishwrap to admit happy days are not here again and the exodus of the middle class from our County is advancing?
DOWNTOWN DEADBEATS: Those “close to Liz Rogers,” including kid-whipping publicity hound Sam Malone, represented to WLW-TV the allegation that Rogers’ rent is now current on her restaurant Mahogany.
In John London’s puff piece, WLW-TV didn’t even demand any proof of the payment of the rent arrearage before eagerly going on air, nor did they push to be told who actually paid that rent arrearage. It was investigative reporting at its worst.
If deadbeat Rogers had $55,000 lying around, why didn’t she just pay her rent when it was due? We wonder who (if not the City of Cincinnati) was the actual entity who came up with that money. Was the $55,000 paid by John Cranley personally? That would be a good news story.
Maybe now, Deadbeat Liz can replace that dead boxwood bush in front of the restaurant.
- FREE AT LAST: Among those celebrating the release of Melowese Richardson are Republicans for Higher Taxes. They are encouraging all of their followers to claim a mental illness so if they ever get convicted of a crime they have their Get Out of Jail Free Card, just like Melowese.
- OUR CATHOLIC COMEDIAN says he saw a sign on a church that said “Lent is Spring Training for Christians.”
UNITED APPALL PEOPLE: Even 23 years ago, dumbed-down do-gooders were reading every word in The Whistleblower, especially stories about people who liked donating at the Sperm Bank in Over the Rhine.- ANOTHER APRIL FOOL’S EVENT: Disgraced DemocRAT Former President Jimmy Carter (the Second Worst President in History) may be scheduled to be at the Joseph-Beth Bisexual Bookstore in Norwood on April 1 for a book-signing event, but the Hamilton County RINO Party is also planning a fundraising Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP is calling his 2014 Judicial Salute, whatever the hell that is on the same date. An even stupider occurrence will also begin on April 1 this year. That’s when all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, will be able to stand in line for hours outside the Board of Elections to cast their ballots for Former Repubican, Flim-Flamming Flyboy Fred Kundrata, who’s running for Congress as a Duplicitous DemocRAT in Ohio’s First District in the May 6 primary election.
AT THE FEDERAL COURTHOUSE: This week, Diminutive DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley and his even more diminutive DemocRAT majority on Cincinnati City Clowncil were eager to refer fixing all of the City’s Pension Problems to Federal Court where Judge Mike Barrett, as always, says he will have everything well in hand. Just imagine the total chaos if Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley had caught the case.
Also, the Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Me (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) still can’t get over Crazy Eric’s triple kamikaze dive on the Kentucky Bar Association to get his law license back. He drew Judge Sandra Beckwith, who most assuredly will not take kindly to his usual bullshit, theatrics, and lack of legal of legal ability demonstrated by his pleadings, regardless of whether he has a law license currently in effect in any jurisdiction.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the latest e-mail during Women’s History Month from Alison Wondergams Grimes’ campaign announced it’s nearly three weeks away from yet another huge milestone, because on March 31, the campaign faces its biggest fundraising test to date. Amazing as it might seem, that milestone is even more significant than the life-or-death deadline on February 28.
AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane why The Blower is going out of its way to promote Women’s History Month this year, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher replied, “It’s just like what Steve “Wild and Crazy Guy” Martin (the comedian, not the judge) always said: “I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal…high enough so you can see up her dress.
The Seediest Kids of All
TODAY’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL is Young Tom Brinkman, who learned to hate taxes at an early age. He had to do without cable-TV because his dad was afraid if he couldn’t pay his property taxes on time, the Brinkman name would appear in the newspaper and the entire family would be too ashamed to show their faces in public, so Young Tom had to stay home and cry a lot.
So the Seediest Kids of All gave Young Tom’s family a bogus vendor’s license, so they could avoid paying sales taxes, and prepared phony non-profit organization papers so the family business could avoid paying income taxes. Tax scofflaw Roger Ach even invited Young Tom to his Christmas party so he could meet other people who didn’t like paying their taxes, and we gave Young Tom a big stack of tax forms so he could vent his anger by chopping them up with an ax.
The Brinkman family still hates taxes, but maybe when he grows up, Young Tom can run for political office. That’s if, he can ever figure out how to run a winning campaign. He could even call himself “Taxkiller Tom” and actually do something about cutting taxes, unless he was endorsed by the tax-and-spend Hamilton County GOP. Those lousy RINO bastards are worse than liberal DemocRATS, because they only pretend to be in favor of smaller government.
The entire Brinkman family is grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our March fund-raising drive by the International Registry of Backstabbers, offering to send your backstabber a full color certificate (suitable for framing!) to memorialize their backstabbing deeds.
BACKSTABBER BALLOTS HOT LINE
e-mail your nastiest nominations today.
Some backstabbing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally backstabbing subscribers, but we could always use more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Hitler Finds Out He Can’t Keep His Doctor Under ObamaCare
(Sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Lovely Lori Viars [1.843 Friends, 105 Mutual], serving as Vice Chair of the Warren Co. Republican Party, on the board of Warren Co. Board of Elections, and as Vice President of the Warren County Right To Life.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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