Thursday, March 6, 2014
What a Difference a Year Makes
Think of how much things have changed since the first Thursday in March, 2013. It was our Special “Gambling Fever” E-dition because everybody was celebrating the Grand Opening of the Horseshoe Casino in Downtown Cincinnati, which promised untold riches for ever resident in the Tri-State, except Liz Rogers, who had already gotten a cool $1 Million from Dainty DemocRAT Mark Mallory and his dumbed-down Cincinnati City Clowncil to piss away on a the only black restaurant to be located at the Banks. But unfortunately the IRS took $50,000 for that pesky tax lien and the crowds from across the street at the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned, Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center failed to materialize.
OUR NUMBER ONE STORY LAST YEAR was the top ten excuses Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Brad Greenberg gave his wife after she caught him with a couple of floozies at the Horseshoe Casino.
10. They were just volunteers for my next campaign.
9. I was considering their appeal.
8. They’re moonlighting from their day jobs as bailiffs at the Courthouse.
7. They wanted to show me their ankle monitor bracelets.
6. They asked me if I had a gavel in my pocket.
5. They were trying to sell me some hair restorer.
4. They wanted to make sure my wife wasn’t wearing the same outfit.
3. Jerry Springer introduced us.
2. Floozies? What Floozies?
…And the number one excuse Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Brad Greenberg gave his wife after she caught him with a couple of floozies at the Horseshoe Casino was… Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP said my wife would never find out.
“Sequestration” Was the Big National News Story Last Year
PLAYGROUND POLITICS: How childish was it when Obama cancelled all the White House tours during Spring Break and blamed it on the sequester, but he sent First Daughter Malia to NYC with eight friends, four adult chaperones and five secret service members. The group was spotted at giant Chelsea restaurant Buddakan, dining on rock shrimp, edamame dumplings, short ribs, lobster fried rice and noodles. How many sequestered jobs might that little trip have saved?
Maybe that’s why Bernard Goldberg called Obama “A President We Can’t Be Proud Of.”
Meanwhile in Washington, our DC Newsbreaker said that Congressional Hearing on Global Warming had to be cancelled because of a snowstorm. How ironic is that?
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen said Obama’s non-stop fear mongering was not paying off. A new ABC News Poll reported 61% of Americans favored Sequester Spending Cuts. The Blower wonders what that number would be up to today.
- WENSTRUP WOBBLES: It didn’t take long for Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup to disappoint TEA Party activists in 2013 by voting to keep ObamaCare in a Continuing resolution in the Congress. Unfortunately, every congressman from Ohio did the same thing, including Steve Chabothead. Chabothead was incensed that his loyal lap dog, George Brunemann was unanimously defeated in his attempt to continue to lead the Cincinnati TEA Party. Hamilton County RINO Party shill Brunemann always had his nose up Chabothead’s butt at each TEA Party meeting, and Chabothead grew to like it.
Brunemann was continuing his shill work by discouraging pissed off TEA Party loyalists from protesting the Green Township Trustees’ decision to let more Section 8 Housing into their community. Brunemann used the TEA Party Constant Contact account list to attack his club members and ask that the NIMBY trustees, who live miles away from the Section 8 Housing they approved, not be held accountable for their actions.
IN CLERMONT COUNTY: At the Tuesday night overflowing Clermont County TEA Party meeting, the Second Amendment was the main topic and Sheriff Rodenberg even got a standing ovation for his remarks about standing with the people. We would’ve expected nothing less from one of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friends.
“Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman was seen passing out anti Peter $tautberg leaflets and telling the 200+ crowd that $tate Rep-tile FOR $ALE Pete $tautberg was the best State Rep-tile money could buy and that Pete won’t repudiate Ohio Republican Governor Kasich-Taylor’s ObamaCare expansion. “Taxkiller” encouraged all those in attendance to register to vote at their children’s and grandchildren’s homes in Anderson Township so they could vote for him in 2014.
Those in attendance noted that during most meetings a strange man had been seen lurking in the back of the room, hiding in the shadows and glad handing all the establishment politicians that come and go. Armstrong Rhemus told the crowd that the person they remember seeing at most meetings was State Rep-tile John Becker. But ever since Becker was elected, they hardly saw him around anymore. Seems he had fallen in with the lobbyist from the big cities and enjoys going to all of their parties and events with free alcohol and food. A photo of Becker was seen on a TV news web site enjoying free eats and booze at the Horseshoe Casino grand opening. Armstrong Rhemus bluntly asked Becker, “Are you quitting the TEA Party for some reason?” Becker said he would respond as soon as he finished his free eats and booze.
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: When a Cincinnati Police officer was charged with improper use of police equipment, the indictment and case number were on Tracy Winkler’s Clerk of Courts web page in twenty minutes. [SEE CASE B 1301282] But Hamilton County Sheriff employee Mickey Esposito was charged with theft from the sheriff’s property room, his indictment and case number were still unavailable three weeks later. Who ordered this cover-up?- REVOLTING REPUBLICANS: The Hamilton County RINO Party was still beating the bushes to find people to attend the next week’s Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner to honor our ObamaCare-Loving Governor Kasich Taylor. They’re even offered online reservations. Angry TEA Party Activists, on the other hand, wanted to know where they can sign up for the boycott so they can send in their RSVPs. And when the RINOs held their so-called “Campaigns School” last year on March 23, did they have to pay people to attend? Certainly anything these people could’ve taught you wouldn’t have been worth paying for.
PARKING PAINS: Republicans for Higher Taxes endorsed the Dohoney parking plan because they believed it would lead to a big tax hike in two years. Here’s why: this deal sacrificed most of the annual parking system proceeds to get a lump sum to piss away today. In two years the budget would still be unbalanced, but the annual proceeds from parking would be significantly reduced, creating an even larger budget gap than before. This would’ve made a large tax increase more likely, as if that gang at City Hall ever needed a new excuse.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on tomorrow’s date in 1876, 29-year-old Alexander Graham Bell patented the telephone, but it wasn’t until many years later that Time Warner started stealing Cincinnati Bell’s customers.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose then-President, the former Cincinnati City Solicitor, Congressman, and Two-Term Ohio Governor, Republican Rutherford B. Hayes’ “An amazing invention – but who would ever want to use one?” Do you think they’re teaching any of that at the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools and the Forrest Gump School District these days, when they’re not illegally campaigning for higher taxes on over-taxed payers’ time?
Two years ago on this date, Defeated Congresswoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt was sending out an e-mail cancelling her big Schmidt for Congress event scheduled for the Ides of March. Talk about an omen! Bob McEwen remembers it well. Our Revered Former Congressman is in Seoul, Korea, speaking at the Presidential Prayer Breakfast.
Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole said Editor Wedgie Washburn claimed next Monday, the new Fishwrap Format would “Fit your hands, your life.” That sounded like something Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien would say.
And was Forest Hills Urinal Editor Eric Spangler finally allowing ace investigative reporter Lisa Wakeland to ask if townships should be able to recall masturbating trustees? It was about time.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said NoKY continued to be a whirlwind of political forecasts. In Boondoggle County, Judge No Moore firmly believed he would get re-elected. Contender Commissioner Matt Dedden was having a hard time getting folks to warm up to him; while he seemed to have the right agenda, he definitely needed a media team along with someone to help him dress appropriately for public appearances. Meanwhile, The Blower had learned that Commissioner Knochleman planned to run against Arlinghaus for that top spot in Kenton County. This was sure to cause another civil war within the GOP there.
There was no doubt that Judge Defectives No Moore and Spendery would love to knock Arlinghaus off and get their yes-men back for their favorite spending projects, like TANK and SD1. The conservative pendulum could’ve really swung the other way if No Moore got beat and “Give Em Hell “Sell beat Spendery. What remains to be seen is how the various and disconnected TEA Parties would play this. Would the Boondoggle County units get behind Deadman Dedden? Would the Kenton County be able to keep the NoKY TEA noses out of their affairs and protect Arlinghaus? And would the Campbell TEAs realize that “Give Em Hell” has the best chance of winning with a conservative platform that would actually make it possible to put some of their members on boards and commissions? Otherwise, it seemed that the TEA Parties might support third party primary candidates and this would simply help the incumbents that they hoped to replace. WTF and WTH, right?
The undercover Blower from Boondoggle County had once again beaten The Fishwrap on a story at good ole CVG. It seemed the Fire Chief there put a bunch of teachers in the aircraft fire trainer to give them some hands on experience. Unfortunately, those teachers left the plane with singed heads and a whole lot less hair. Word was that the KY Fire Commission was investigating, which would mean higher fares due to stupid fire trick litigation.
Our own Fire Marshall Bill from Boondoggle County said that he had learned that an additional fare hiker would be the fire prevention officer who stayed on shift but didn’t count as manpower. WTF? We were not sure, but it seemed there weren’t a whole lot of fire prevention activities anywhere, especially at the airport, that would require an assigned person after business hours. It Seemed the board had managers that liked to pay overtime at the fire department. Don’t worry, they were planning to fund it with your $1,000 ticket to Pittsburgh.
NOTE: 23 years ago in The Whistleblower, the CamBoozler was but a lowly columnist and the legendary J. R. Hatfield was our Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief. Back then, J.R. was complaining that he sometimes felt like “BeanBall Jim” Bunning every time he was passed over by the section committee of the Bluegrass Journalism Hall of Fame. (BeanBall wasn’t inducted until 1996.)
FINALLY, LAST YEAR AT THURSDAY’S BRIBE LUNCH, a political insider was shocked to find out that members of the Ohio General Assembly had been invited to receive VIP treatment at the Grand Opening of the Horseshoe Casino in downtown Cincinnati. Those elected officials, who allegedly represented us, were feted with free food, alcohol, and parking. It is also believed they received a handful of free gifts. Dare we say “bribes?”
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane said, “If any loyal reader knew anything about this or better still has pictures to identify those State Legislators, The Blower would be happy to provide all the space they would ever hope for in an upcoming e-dition.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially State Rep-Tile for Sale Peter $tautberg.
Whistleblower Joke Watch
In Sunday’s E-dtion (published on Saturday), The Blower reported Obama was singing “Crimea River,” when he showed up at that Happy Hour for the DemocRAT Party after he made that big announcement about how deeply concerned he was because Russian President Bad Vlad Putin had totally ignored Obama’s warnings not to invade. Congratulations to The People’s Cube, for being first to follow up on our little joke.
The Seediest Kids of All
TODAY’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL is “Little Greggie” Delev, an unhappy 14-year-old Anderson Township second-grader who was never chosen for anything important, no matter how much he sucked up to everybody at school. His teacher wouldn’t let him clean the erasers. Class officers wouldn’t support him for hall monitor. The principal wouldn’t sign his petition for safety patrol. And the coach wouldn’t even let him dress up in a gerbil suit to be the team mascot.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not affiliated with the Failed United Way) called Anderson Township Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson, who got “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman to arrange an honor truly befitting “Little Greggie’s” talents and abilities, to be honorary bagholder at the Annual Anderson Township Bulgarian-American Snipe Hunt. Felonious Fund-raiser Dickie Weiland tried to get support from his sleazy lobbyist friends in Columbus, “Maudlin Mike” Allen offered his meaningless endorsement, Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney showed up at one of “Little Greggie’s” press conference and called him an asshole, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane promised never to hold him up to public ridicule.
The Delev family is grateful to the Seediest Kids of All for helping “Little Greggie” reach his true potential holding the bag, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt giving throughout the year which makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
Another Proud Sponsor and Avid Fan
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our March fund-raising drive by Gamblers Anonymous, offering shuttle bus service from the new Horseshoe Casino.
COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS HOT LINE
e-mail your excuses for gambling today.
Some sure-winner items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally sure-winner subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
BARACK OBAMA VS VLADIMIR PUTIN
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend PFC Karl Kadon [1,232 Friends, 57 Mutual Friends], who brought us a souvenir from Saddam Hussein’s Palace after the US Marine single-handedly captured the Iraqi dictator)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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