Monday, March 3, 2014
Real Awards for Real Acting
Sunday night, millions of Americans watched the 86th Annual Academy Awards in Hollywood. These viewers know everything about every film and movie star being nominated. Unfortunately, these are the same Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice and who’ve ensured us all of another 1,054 days during the Dark Ages of America’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
Nevertheless, at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was pleased as punch to present The Whistleblower’s “Real Awards for Real Acting” for 2014.
Nominees for Best Actor were:
Barack Obama in “Liar, Liar”
Barack Obama in “Above the Law”
Barack Obama in “Barack Obama, Warrior Princess”
…and the winner was George W. Bush in “Miss Me Yet?”
Nominees for Best Supporting Actor were:
Ted Cruz in “We’ll Turn This Country Around”
Harry Reid in “Only 36,000 Americans Lost Their Jobs Today”
John Boehner in “Cave In”
…and the winner was Joe Biden in “Our Stimulus Is Really Working”
Nominees for Best Actress were:
Hillary Clinton in “Nightmare on Benghazi Street”
Susan Rice in “At the Dirty Movies”
Sarah Palin in “I Told You So”
…and the winner was Michele Obama in “Separate Over-Taxed Payer Funded Vacations”
Nominees for Best Supporting Actress were:
Kathleen Sebelius “Cover Your Mouth When You Cough”
Janet Napolitano in “Airport Insecurity”
Nancy Pelosi in “Facelift”
…and the winner was, Barney Frank in “Man in a Dress.”
Winners in Other Categories Included:
Biggest Boondoggle: “Health Care Reform”
Best Foreign Entry: “Immigration Reform”
Most Unconstitutional: “They’re Coming for Your Guns”
Biggest Disappointment: (Tie) “Racial Healing” and “Class Warfare”
This Year’s Biggest Mystery: “Where in the Hell Are All Those Jobs We Were Promised?”
…And Best Song: “Barack Obama Singing, “Crimea River”
More Obama At the Movies
Local awards for “Real Awards for Real Acting” will also be presented:
CINCINNATI’S FORMER GIRLY MAYOR MARK MALLORY: “A Streetcar Named Stupidity”- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY BOSS ALEX T., MALL COP GOP: “Fool’s Errand”
- HAMILTON COUNTY DEMO-LABOR PARTY BOSS TIM BURKA: “It’s Not Political, Really!”
- DIMINUTIVE DEMOCRAT MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY: “Lowered Expectations”
- CINCINNATI VICE MAYOR DAVID MANN: “Backstabbers Day”
- CINCINNATI CLOWNCIL GAY CHRIS SQUEALBACK: “One Night Stand”
MAHOGANY’S OWNER LIZ ROGERS: “My Upcoming Eviction”- FORMER REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE FRED KUNDRATA (now running as a DemocRAT): “Zelig”
- OHIO DISGRACED FORMER ANDERSON TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE KEVIN “BIG SPANKY” O’BRIEN: “Rubber Gloves”
- OHIO SENATOR ROB “FIGHTING FOR FAGGOTRY” PORTMAN: “Family Secrets”
OHIO MERCENARY COAST ATTORNEY CHRIS FINNEY AND FORMER NAALCP PRESIDENT/ CINCINNATI CITY CLOWN-CILMAN SMLP SMITHERMOUTH: “Jungle Fever” - $TATE REP-TILE FOR $ALE PETER $TAUTBERG: “The Best Elected Official Money Can Buy”
- FORREST GUMP SCHOOL BOARD: “Another Tax Hike for Greedy Teachers and Administrators”
- TEA PARTY PATRIOTS: “Tempest in a TEA Cup”
- BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO: “Goin’ South”
- OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS: “Higher Ambition”
- WILLIAM T. ROBINSON III: “Airport 2014”
SENATE SURRENDER LEADER BITCH MCCONNELL: “Turtle on a Fence Post”- MATT BEVAN: “What’s the Big Hurry, I Still Have 78 Days to Campaign”
- ALISON WONDERGAMS GRIMES: “Tuesday, Bill Clinton Had His Picture Taken With Me, And Thursday He Was Photographed With a Couple of Whores in Los Angeles”
- BOONDOGGLE COUNTY CONSTABLE JOE KALIL AND SHERIFF MIKE HELMIG: “Teachers With Guns”
MISS VICKI: “Facebook Friends”- DEMOCRAT DOMINATRIX KATHY GROOB: “Women in Politics”
- NORTHERN KENTUCKY CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: “A Bridge Too Expensive”
- CREATION MUSEUM’S KEN HAM: “Dinosaurs on the Ark”
And This Just In
- JOEY AND ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS: Joey and Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters: “Separated at Birth”
REAL AWARDS FOR REAL ACTING HOT LINE
e-mail your noxious nominations today
Some Celebrity-obsessed items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Celebrity-obsessed subscribers, but we could always use more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
2016: Obama’s America
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend “In Russ We Trust” Jackson—273 Friends, 91 Mutual, who likes Mrs. Butterworth’s Syrup)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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