Saturday, August 10, 2013
Just Like Social Security and Medicare
OUR CROOKS IN CONGRESS: Ohio’s Second District, Conservative Republican Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup has begun a national petition drive to call on Obama, U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to live under the laws they wrote and passed. Wenstrup called upon Dishonest DemocRATS to repeal the Unaffordable Healthcare Act (ObamaCare) instead of illegally exempting themselves at over-taxed payers’ expense. [SIGN THE PETITION HERE]
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Wenstrup’s “Obamacare is bad medicine and giving a special exemption for any member of Congress or congressional staffer goes against the rule of law. If there’s one thing all Americans can agree on it’s that Washington insiders should not be given the privilege of avoiding the dangers of ObamaCare. Americans who agree that, when it comes to ObamaCare, there should be no special pass for Congress, can go to www.NoSpecialPass.com and sign the national petition calling for end to this outrage.”
- OBAMA SUPPORTERS IN THE PRESS: Debra from Anderson had occasion to hear Rush Limbaugh’s radio show opening on Thursday: He hit the nail on the head when he commented on Obama’s appearance on Leno the previous night. In the face of the grave warnings of an imminent terror attack and the closing of 19 embassies, most presidents would have addressed the nation during primetime from the Oval Office. Instead, Obama goes on a late night comedy show to speak, for the first time, about the “crisis.” Rush said, “JFK did not go on the Jack Paar show to tell the American people about the Cuban missile crisis.” Now you can read the rest of what El Rushbo said about how Washington Journalists are lowering their
ANOTHER OBAMA VACATION: Republicans are already attacking Obama’s planned eight-day vacation at a $7.6 million estate on Martha Vineyard’s beginning today. With so many Americans still looking for jobs and struggling to make ends meet, do you think any of those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters will understand this sends the wrong message to people who are struggling to survive?- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says following Obama’s Jimmy Carter-like decision to snub Russian President Vladimir Putin during an upcoming trip to Europe, 36% think a new U.S.-Russia Cold War is likely during the next few years. Well, Duh!
- IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio Republican Rob “Fighting for Faggotry” Portman is not doing very well in polls for possible 2016 presidential contenders. The Robmeister didn’t do very well in the same polls last time, but that didn’t stop Kneepad Liberals from promoting him big time for Vice President, and that was even before our so-called Conservative came out in support of same sex marriage after he found out his son Will had become afflicted with the gayness.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1827, there were race riots in Cincinnati, and 1,000 black people left for Canada, while today Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston wonders why they don’t have a re-enactment at the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center today.
ALSO IN CINCINNATI: The Charter Committee (whatever the hell that is) has endorsed three additional candidates for Cincinnati City Clown-cil (DemocRATS David Mann and Greg Landsman, along with Republican Amy Murray. That’s what happens when you don’t have any candidates of your own to endorse. COAST, the Cincinnati TEA Party, and the Willie Nelson TEA Pot Party have endorsed Loony Libertarian Jim Berns for mayor, so you can see how much difference those third-party endorsements really make.
Berns answered Jane Prendergast’s silly question of the week for Sunday’s Fishwrap in 50 words or less, but not without first apologizing for calling Foxy Roxy a “Freaking Idiot” for supporting the Trolly [sic] Folly last week, where Sidney Spellchecker says our Loony Libertarian also misspelled “Trolley.”
MALLORY MEMORIES: The Fishwrap asked what Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor will be remembered for and our Compassionless Conservative has four things:
#1 The first black mayor who needed a body guard! If he had any cojones he wouldn’t need a body guard for protection!
#2 For being AWOL most of his tenure, which was a good thing.
#3 For thinking Obama was going to give him a job in DC.
#4 For not even owning a home in Cincinnati.
Back to the drawing board, Compassionless—you’re not even close.
POLITICALLY CORRECT PARTING GIFTS: The University of Cincinnati regularly raises its tuition fees, pleading lack of funds, yet they decided to pay the lazy and useless chief of police his huge salary through February, 2014. UC fired Michael Cureton back on July 23. Although he is no longer present or doing anything, the university will pay him for six more months for doing no work, which Cureton says is no different than before.
UC hastily hired Cureton two years ago after one of their campus police killed teenaged student Everett Howard with a taser gun. UC made a deal with the Hamilton County coroner, the Indian woman Lakshmi Sammarco who found the cause of death as “undetermined”, wink, wink. With the situation now calmed down, UC no longer had any use for Cureton.
This will give Cureton time to attend the Black Family Reunion next weekend, eat watermelon, barbecue chicken and sit on his fat ass while he texts girls he met on campus.
MORE GAY NEWS: Our Facebook Forager noted comments from desperate and dateless gays trying to pick up Openly Gay Cincinnati City Clown-cilman Chris Squealback’s campaign manager after this photo was posted.
And did you notice how many people waited all night for the new Chick-Fil-A to open in Newport on Thursday? So much for that big protest our Sodomy Rites Activists couldn’t pull off last year.
- CH SNITCH says a guy was fired from the Public Library and his unemployment is being contested. The guy even hired Disgraced Former Hamilton County Philandering Prosecutor Mike Allen to fight it. Word is the guy has some embarrassing stuff on the Library’s director Kim Fender. He’s even trying to use it to get public records to help his case for unemployment. Maybe The Fishwrap will get around to covering this story as levy time approaches.
- WHISTLEBLOWER GOSSIP COLUMNIST LINDA LIBEL says on the fifth year anniversary of Sarah Widmer’s death, why is Ryan Widmer’s father raising Ryan’s baby? If Sarah Manherz was the second love of Ryan’s life, was she a just a gold digger looking for money, and not love?
- DUMB DINNER DATES: That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters is wondering if lovely Lisa Wells (the attorney who replaced Crazy Eric on WLW Hate Radio) really agreed to have dinner with “The Crazy One?” The Blower wonders what kind of bet Lisa must’ve lost.
- RIBALD IN READING: Reading Reporter Benson Tadwell says a long-time former Councilman for the City of Reading who lost the Mayoral race in 2010 is registered to run for President of Council in November 2013. His name is Kenneth Nordin.
But wouldn’t it be funny if this was the same Mr. Nordin who was busted in a sting by Sharonville Police asking for “oral sex” at the Drury Inn Hotel in Sharonville for $120 on July 9, 2013? (See City of Sharonville Mayor’s Court case search.) He told his family he was getting a “massage” and claims he was set up. At Sharonville’s Mayor’s Court he got a continuance to August 14. As of this date he has not withdrawn from the race. The Blower wonders if Ken got a congratulatory phone call from Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien, who doesn’t believe in resigning either.
- ALSO IN ANDERSON: Slate.com has announced that it will “no longer refer to either the NFL Washington Redskins or the Anderson High School football team as the “Redskins.” For decades, American Indian activists and others have been asking, urging, and haranguing the Forrest Gump School District to ditch their nickname, calling it a racist slur and an insult to Indians…. Why, then, has nothing changed? “Because Republicans in Anderson Township are just a bunch of homophobe racist bigots,” a spokesman said. Now everybody’s waiting to see if the PC Fanatics at the Forest Hills Urinal do the same thing.
IN CLERMONT COUNTY: A group of supporters gave Keith “The Mooch” Maupin a once-in-a-lifetime surprise makeover earlier this week. They plan to hold him down and make-over his ungodly beard, as soon as they can install new batteries in their weed-whackers.
Meanwhile, some residents of Union Township are wondering if the zoning laws there allow for him to operate his business in a residentially zoned neighborhood.
BLUEGRASS BOUILLABAISSE: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if you can remember when this weekend’s Great Inland Seafood Festival used to be held on the North Shore in Ohio. Do you remember years ago when The Blower predicted the event would move to Northern Kentucky? We do.
The CamBoozler also says, “Please, no pushing and shoving at this weekend’s Inland Seafood Festival. We promise we won’t run out at the free all-you-can-eat raw squid buffet.”
And does anybody else wonder why this weekend’s Great Inland Seafood Fest in Newport is so close to the Aquarium? Coincidence? We think not.
Maybe some of those recently Fired Fishwrappers can get some part time work as –what else—“Fishwrappers.”
Meanwhile, our old pal Bobby Leach says, “Ladies, don’t forget to visit the Greedy Weasels at the Clear Channel booth at the Great Inland Seafood Fest. The winner of our big contest gets a free case of crabs.”
ALSO IN NoKY: Kenton County Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney Josh McIntosh appears to be a rock star in his own right. His band plays everything from country, ’90s, classic rock to hip hop. And you thought Josh’s Boss, Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders was a one man band.
Now here are the Top Ten Things you really don’t want to hear at the Great Inland Seafood Festival in Northern Kentucky:
10. “And the idiot ATE it?”
9. “Do you want eyes with that?”
8. “Well, fish it out.”
7. “Wait a minute…The squid’s still alive! THE SQUID’S STILL ALIVE!”
6. “Sure, I have crabs.”
5. “Damn it! That’s the third Band-Aid I’ve lost today.”
4. “Would you care to pound my flounder, Mr. McKrevis?”
3. “Is that an eel in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
2. “No thanks, We’re just trolling.”
…and the Number One thing you really don’t want to hear at the Great Inland Seafood Festival in Northern Kentucky is… “Hello, I’m Jerry Springer. Would any of you girls accept my personal check?
- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, horny football fanatics on Viagra couldn’t stop fantasizing about the new Bungals cheerleaders, who’ll be bumping and grinding at the Bungals first preseason home game against the Tennessee Titans on August 17. We’ll be looking to see if this lovely lass from Northern Kentucky made the squad. Amazingly, she is not represented by Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters.
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Some raw fish smelling items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally raw fish smelling subscribers.
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