Friday, January 4, 2012
Those Who Fail to Learn from History…
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1995, the 104th Congress became the first held entirely under Republican control since the Eisenhower era. Thanks to Newt Gingrich and his “Contract with America,” the Republican Party won majority control of Congress for the first time in forty years. Today, everybody was waiting to see Weeper of the House John Boehner getting to keep his gavel so he can cave in to Obama again on the next budget battle. Boehner said his New Year’s Resolution was not to negotiate with Obama any more. No kidding! At least Goof Doofus’ replacement, Tea Party guy Thomas Massie was one of the nine defections.
According to Dick Morris in “The Uselessness of a Republican House,” The way the House rolled over and passed the DemocRAT/ Liberal fiscal cliff “deal” was not the only disgusting sight in Washington this New Year’s Day. Even worse was the craven way the Republican Congressmen embraced DemocRAT tactics by voting against the bill only when they were certain that it would pass despite their votes. In his Video Lunch Alert “Profiles in Cowardice: House Republicans,” Morris discusses how the “Fiscal Cliff” deal was no compromise. It was a total surrender.
Congress, instead of getting the country’s fiscal house in order, continues to play their stupid crisis/blame game. In cahoots with Ben Bernacke and his Federal Reserve, Congress is systematically economically destroying this country from within. Something no outside group has been able to do! In Washington DC, we now have 535 Congress members and the President (Republican and DemocRAT alike) who should be classified as economic terrorists!! God help us.
Maybe that’s why our Quote For Today Committee chose John Adams’ “In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a Congress.”
At yesterday’s meeting of the Romney Supporters Anonymous in Goshen, several Recovering Republicans repeated the group’s motto: “God,Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”
- Yesterday, new members of the House were scheduled to be sworn in, so over-taxed payers will now be picking up the tab for those new offices for Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, although you’d never know where they’re located from Bronze Star’s inexperienced-and- incompetent Transition Team, or folks at the Forest Hill Urinal, who are still trying to keep it a big secret. But The Blower knows the space the GSA leased for Wenstrup’s office is conveniently located at 7954 Beechmont in Anderson Township, across the street from the Anderson Tea Party Headquarters. Party hacks looking for jobs should storm the place.
- Also yesterday, Republicans for Higher Taxes honored “Mean Jean” Schmidt on her final day in office with a special tribute. They invited everyone to share their favorite “Mean Jean” memory.
- The Forest Gump Bored of Education wants more money and is going after a ballot issue. Yesterday’s Fishwrap says River Downs expects to make big bucks with the new slots and racetrack and pay taxes to Anderson Township. What are Anderson’s plans for all that moolah? Kasich forecast River Downs could generate $120 million in slot revenues. Why not use the tax money for the skools? They could call it: “Ponies for Pupils.”
- The city installed “BIKE CROSSING” signs on Kellogg Avenue, by Four Seasons Marina. Cars sit forever waiting to pull out when dropping off kids for soccer. Who’s going to stop to allow a bike to cross Kellogg? They need to install a parking spot for Dr. Samarrco’s meat wagon, because she’ll be issuing death certificates for bikers attempting to cross Kellogg at that location.
CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHLIN says these eleven States now have more people on Welfare than are actually employed. And what a surprise: dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span voters in seven of these States supported Obama.- Beginning January 1, the 75-watt incandescent light bulb has been banned from production and importation into the United States. That’s right – as soon as stores clear their shelves of their current stock, you won’t be able to buy a 75-watt incandescent light bulb anymore.
- FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) is still wondering if Perry KimBall’s story about Geoffrey Damon, that attorney accused of stealing $61,554 from his former law firm (Butkovich & Crosthwaite) purposely omitted the name of another one of Damon’s employers, just because that employer may have filed another frivolous SLAPP lawsuit against Skaggie Maggie, Wedgie Washburn, Jim Hannah, and Terry DeMio at The Fishwrap?
IN A RELATED STORY: That Steubenville SLAPP suit in which Whistleblower Dream Team Chairman Scott Greenwood was involved has now settled. Essentially, once our ACLU Mouthpiece entered the case to represent the anonymous commenters, the plaintiffs folded. Scott used the same winning tactic as in his landmark Deters v The Blower Defense.
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: If the Union Township Board of Trustees can dedicate Election Day to honor “Mean Jean” Schmidt and declare New Year’s Eve to as a tribute “Don White Day” in Union Township, Our Good Friend Archie Wilson wonders when his day is coming.
- INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST FEARLESS FERRETT has been checking out that story (discovered by a private investigator) involving the criminal record of a woman who’s been active in Hamilton County RINO Party politics for several years, and sure enough, there appears to be something to it.
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: Courthouse Hacks want to know more about that story (uncovered by a debt collector) involving the slow payment history of a relative to a well-known local elected official, whose name you might know.
ALSO HEREABOUTS: Some people are wondering if local governments will ever find ways to save money and become more efficient by sharing services. Now we see Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception’s reaction to the idea that Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory and Hamilton County Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann would ever put together a high-powered group to study new sharing and consolidation opportunities.
John Galt says any over-taxed payers who are not satisfied with the way the local elected officials are spending their money and still live in a Cincinnati zip code, are part of the problem.
- FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were doing their best not to tip off Our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher about his surprise birthday party next Monday, and several people hoped organizers would do a better job keeping all those freeloaders and suck-ups away this year.
Stories We’reWorking On
Obama really enjoying his $7 million over-taxed payer funded vacation- DemocRAT Voters waiting for more free stuff
- Fiscal Cliff Deal didn’t fix anything
- Hillary to testify about Benghazi
- Geithner to step down before Debt Ceiling Deal!
- Was Boehner the best we could do?
- Obama says “The best is yet to come.”
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said Bungals Coach Marvin Lewis planned to win Saturday’s big NFL Playoff game:
(A) A more potent offense: 2%
(B) A stronger defense: 1%
(C) Instill that winning spirit: 3%
(D) Hope the entire Texans team comes down with the flu: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
One More 2012 Year-End Review
This week, everybody who thought all those year-end-review columns were just a big waste of time, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Larry Listmaker, who says the biggest problem with The Blower is that it can make the truth sound like a lie and something they just made up sound like the truth, and you’re never quite sure which is which. Larry wins a “We Don’t Need No Stinking Facts Checked” T-shirt, tickets to the Proofreaders Hall of Fame, and a date with the news bimbo of his choice to the Copy Editors Ball. His winning limerick is:
The biggest story we found last year
Wasn’t that Romney’s defeat caused us no cheer.
But what we’re waiting to observe
Is Obama voters to get what they deserve
And don’t expect us to shed a tear.
And from the Anderson Laureate we have another Homophobic Work of Art: The biggest story we found last year
Is that there ain’t nothing wrong with being queer.
Maryland, Maine and Washington State
See nothing wrong with letting two guys mate
And if you want, you can marry a horse or a deer.
Last year the law sentenced Jerry Sandusky
(It’s a good thing he wasn’t a Xavier Muskie)
All he did was have sex with some boys
In the locker room, where you can’t hear the noise.
When he gets out, he’s going to marry a Huskie.
Please forgive me if I seem to digress
But I prefer a human who looks good in a dress,
No animals or boys
I’ll take heterosexual joys
I’m hooked on women, I confess.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“So what should Conservatives do now?”
CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEONS HOT LINE
e-mail your right-wing propaganda today
Some curmudgeony items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally curmudgeony subscribers.
Link of the Day
ONION 2012 YEAR IN REVIEW
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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