Special “Bye, Bye Boehner” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, January 3, 2012

Nothing Has Really Been Fixed

  • image004JUST AS THE WHISTLEBLOWER PREDICTED: Plenty of Conservatives couldn’t be more outraged about the so-called “Fiscal Cliff” fix approved late Tuesday by John Boehner’s supposedly Republican controlled House when they voted on that Crap Sandwich Fiscal Bill Obama’s Bitch McConnell sent over from the Senate. Photoshop Spoofer Edward Cropper shows our Crap Sandwich Supreme. After all, Ohio Republican Senator Rob “Fighting for Fecal Burgers” Portman had claimed he wouldn’t go for a deal that had more spending, with no deficit reduction, and then he voted just like Ohio’s Disingenuous DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown.

The Senate received the 154-page bill only three minutes before they voted to approve it. That reminds us when Nutty Nancy Pelosi said the House had to vote for Obama care so they could find out what’s in it, and we all know how well that turned out.

Obama left town without even signing the legislation, hoping on Air Force One to resume his $7 Million over-taxed payer funded family Cliff-mas vacation in Hawaii (with borrowed money).

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Herbert Hoover’s “Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

  • image009image010BOEHNER’S BLUNDER: Comnparing the So-Called Fical Cliff Deal to the 2011 Budget Deficit,Boehner not only voted in favor of that $4 trillion package to increase taxes and grow spending for more free stuff for dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama supporters, but he also pushed for the legislation to come up for a floor vote without any deal-breaking spending-cut amendments. In the end, only 84 Republicans joined Boehner and 172 DemocRATS to send the bill to Obama for his signature. Among the 151 Republican “nay” votes was Majority Leader Eric Cantor, who is widely believed to be plotting and scheming to replace Boehner with what critics are calling “A Little Red State Leadership” in the House. The only good news was when the House approved legislation on Tuesday to block Obama’s Executive Order for an undeserved pay increase for federal workers and members of Congress.

Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says that vote for Speaker is scheduled immediately after the Freshmen Congressmen are sworn in. It’ll be interesting to see which way Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup votes after his “consultants” in Columbus tell him whom to support.

Republican wussies couldn’t just say immediately, “Barack, we’re with you on the Jacobin chant of ‘let’s smash the rich!’” They needed to look like they were being forced into it. The higher taxes on the “rich” are actually paid by small businesses (83%). These are the people the D-RATS hate the most. They are the backbone of Middle America. They create the jobs (88% of all new jobs over the last 10 years) and make America work.

When Bush-41 made the deal to go-along with Dishonest DemocRATS in the “forget my lips” agreement, 128 Conservative Republicans, voted against it. Tuesday night, 151 Conservative Republicans opposed the “We need more money to spend” deal. More taxes, more spending. So what else is new? Weak Republicans joining with the Determined DemocRATS to further their Progressive Agenda.

The House of Representatives controls every dime that is spent. When D-RATS were in control, they forced Bush to accede to their demands. The Republicans could do the same anytime they choose to. But that would require a little thing called Leadership.

  • IN COLUMBUS, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio RINO Party Chairman Boob Bennett tried to put some GOP Mayonnaise on that Republican Crap Sandwich, claiming, “Obama would have kicked the can much farther down the road than he already has without Republicans working to stop wasteful government spending and end onerous tax increases on hardworking middle class families.” Boehner isn’t the only Republican leader who needs to be replaced.
  • IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, Goof Doofus’ replacement in Congress Thomas Massie called Boehner’s failed Plan B a “Turd Sandwich” during a radio interview on the Mandy McConnell Show.
  • image013MEANWHILE IN CINCINNATI: Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP says In the coming days and weeks, he will begin to unveil his plan to impact Cincinnati, motivate at the grassroots level, keep our majority in the County Commission, and prepare to re-elect our statewide “Blue State” GOP team led by Governor Kasich. Sounds like another Crap Sandwich to us!

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated, and these days Hurley keeps wondering how you’d go about excommunicating Republican Party Leaders who keep failing to do their jobs.

  • AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he thought about the results of those so-called “Fiscal Cliff” negations. “Only in Washington DC can 536 individuals sit around debating a set of alternatives that at best would bring in enough revenue to cover nine days of deficit and contain no actual reduction in spending!” Kane explained. All of which will probably be discussed at our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher’s Surprise Birthday Party next week.

Seediest Kids of All

The Mikey Brown Story

image015Today’s Seediest Kid of All is Poor Little Mikey Brown, a portly pantload from Indian Hill, who wanted to win the Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition to please his dad, who was a real football fanatic. Poor Little Mikey dreamed of standing at mid-field during halftime, where a stadium full of fans would cheer him, and everybody else at home would see him on TV.

So the Seediest Kids of All sent over some professional football coaches, who taught him everything they knew.

Unfortunately, at the Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition, Poor Little Mikey’s punt went a total of six yards, he fumbled the ball attempting to pass, and he tripped over the tee when he tried to kick the ball. On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t have sent over the Bungals coaching staff. At least he didn’t embarrass himself in front of a stadium full of people, because the stands were empty, and since it was a Bungals home game, nobody saw it at home because as usual, the game was blacked out on TV.

The Brown family called to express their gratitude to for all our help, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your guilt and tax dollars throughout the year which make it all possible.

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SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Anybody But Boehner Committee, hoping Conservatives in the House show why we sent them to Congress today.


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Some really sad items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really sad subscribers.


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NewsBusted 1/01/13

image019Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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