Special “The Week That Was” E-dition

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Blower’s Week in Review

  • OUR NUMBER STORY THIS WEEK was The Blower’s award-winning coverage of the “Betray-Us Scandal,” especially “The Generals and their Privates.” Wednesday’s “Link of the Day” even showed Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack Ripper explaining why he denied women his “essence.” If only General Betray-us had shown such restraint.

The Betray-us Scandal involves PAULA BROADwell. Clinton’s sex scandals included PAULA Jones and Juanita BROADrick. Don’t you just love coincidences?

  • OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was when Firebrands at Grasstops USA.com reported Obama had ordered up his own impeachment. Defending the outrageous Benghazi lies of U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, Barack Obama issued the following challenge at a press conference, Obama said, “If Senator McCain and Senator Graham and others wanna’ go after somebody, they should go after me.” Did you hear that Mr. Boehner… Mr. McConnell…? Let’s take Mr. Obama at his word. Obama has thrown down his gauntlet and is demanding his own impeachment over the growing Benghazi scandal. So, what are you waiting for… get busy.
  • AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was when our Quote for the Day Committee said some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way that you can quickly understand them. This quote came from the Czech Republic. Someone over there has it figured out. It was translated into English from an article in the Prague newspaper, Prager Zeitungon.

“The danger to America is not Barack Obama, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their President.”

  • MONDAY in our Annual “Veterans Day” E-dition, The Blower said ask not what a veteran can do for you, ask what you can do for a veteran.

We should’ve been forever different after September 11, because then patriotism was suddenly back in style.

Hurley the Historian said in those days you saw American flags everywhere and Liberals at least pretended to promote the same American values they’d been running down for years. People were even e-mailing each other patriotic poems.

There had been no large terrorist attacks on American soil since 9/11, and last Tuesday’s election results showed patriotism doesn’t seem to be quite so important to most people. Yesterday was the Marine Corps’ 236th birthday, but they had to buy their own cake. In Anderson, there’ll be a program to honor veterans at the Government Center at 7 PM tonight, but you haven’t heard much about it.

But The Blower, which has always prized Patriotism above all else, thinks today we should really honor our veterans, especially the brave men and women who put their lives and careers on hold after they were called to duty in the War on Terror during since 9/11. Maybe this year the exploitation will finally stop so Matt Maupin and all those other American heroes can rest in peace.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • TUESDAY in our Special “Things Could’ve Been Worse” E-dition, The Blower explained, “Obama could’ve just been elected to his first term!” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

Now that we succeeded dragging Obama across the finish line in the 2012 Election, maybe we should cover Obama’s Benghazi-Gate Scandal. —Obama Supporters in the Press

Resigning as CIA Director over an extra-marital affair the weekend before I was scheduled to testify before Congress in Obama’s Benghazi-gate Scandal was merely a coincidence. —General David Petraeus (Rhymes with Betray-us)

Please don’t ask why the FBI suppressed its investigation of the Petraeus Affair before the election. —Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder

We did better than that—we hit our monthly record-breaking 421,000 new food stamp users for ten days until after the election. —Obama’s Free Stuff Department

Sorry I can’t testify at Congress’ Benghazi-Gate Hearings this week. —Obama’s Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

I’d have given that General his fifth star if this had only happened during my administration. —Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton

Now our Number One Objective is to make Obama only a two-term president. —Republican Senate Leader Bitch McConnell

Real Republicans are wondering if it’s finally time for a New Republican Party keep telling us to “stop compromising” and “start impeaching.” —GOP House Speaker John Boehner

[READ MORE HERE]

  • WEDNESDAY in our Special “Did Petraeus Betray-us?” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’ll still be staying around too many generals were taking orders from their privates!”

CODE OF MISCONDUCT: So why doesn’t Resigned-in-Disgraced Former CIA Director David Petraeus (Rhymes With Betray-us) want to testify at the Congressional Benghazi-Gate Hearings? Even if they take away his Good Conduct Ribbon, he’ll still have lots of medals on his uniform. And why won’t Hillary be attending? It must be wine-tasting season in Australia. And who’ll be Hillary’s replacement as Secretary of State? Obama will surely be rewarding Susan Rice after she repeatedly lied about Benghazi on all those Sunday TV Talk Shows. And you can be sure, all of Obama’s Unreporters in the Press will be covering this sex scandal, so long as it deflects from Obama’s lies.

And did ABC’s Denver affiliate really run a phony cover of Paula Broadwell’s biography of General David Petraeus? The cover read “All Up in My Snatch,” whatever that means, when the real book title is “All In.”

 [READ MORE HERE]

  • THURSDAY, in our Special “Divided States of America” E-dition, The Blower said Secession Mania is only Obama’s latest accomplishment!

If Only All Those People Had Voted Last Week

  • IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SECEDE: Less than a week after a New Orleans suburbanite petitioned the White House to allow Louisiana to secede from the Divided States of America, petitions from seven states have collected enough signatures to trigger a promised review from the Obama administration. And by 6:00 A.M. EST Wednesday, more than 675,000 digital signatures had appeared on 69 separate secession petitions covering all 50 states, according to a Daily Caller analysis of requests lodged with the White House’s “We the People” online petition system.

Revolutionary Reader Edwin Clements says, “I do not want to hear anything about any state ‘petitioning’ the federal gubmit to let it secede. To hell with that! If a state wants to secede, they should just DO IT. Do you think the colonists ‘petitioned’ King George to let them declare independence in 1776? What do they think we celebrate on July 4 anyway?”

[READ MORE HERE]

  •  FRIDAY in our Special “Betray-us Jokes” E-dition, The Blower said Liberals are “All In!”

ALL OBAMA’S GENERALS SOAP OPERA UPDATE: That FBI agent pal of Arab scammer Jill Kelley who personally took it upon himself to start an FBI investigation of Army General David Betray-us has been identified as Frederick W. Humphries II.

When it was revealed Humphries started the investigation himself to help his personal female friend, and had sent e-mail photos of himself shirtless to Kelley, the FBI merely removed him from the Petraeus investigation. That’s not even a slap on the wrist.

What would you like to bet FBI agent Fred Humphries also sent even more revealing photos to Jill Kelley?

Another floozy player in the scandal, one of General Petraeus’ mistresses, Paula Broadwell, was found to have substantial and significant classified information on her computer, law enforcement and national security officials said on Wednesday. These officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to comment publicly. Obama earlier publicly misstated that the scandal did not involve any classified information. But then if he didn’t know that, doesn’t it prove he didn’t know anything about Murdering Muslim Terrorists killing our Ambassador in Libya on September 11?

Petraeus had no intention of resigning until he was forced to do so. He intended weather the scandal, keeping his job as head of the Central Intelligence Agency and his pension as a four-star Army general.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • SATURDAY in our Special “Days of Our Lies” E-dition, The Blower said, “Obama Lied and Four Americans died!”

Now for Something Completely Patriotic

THE BATTLING BASTARDS OF BENGHAZI (written by Col. William Bauer, USMC)

We’re the Battling Bastards of Benghazi,
No fame, no glory, no paparazzi.
Just a fiery death in a blazing hell,
Defending the country we loved so well.
It wasn’t our job, but we answered the call,
Fought to the consulate, ‘n scaled th’ wall.
We pulled twenty countrymen from the jaws of fate,
Led them to safety, ‘n stood at th’ gate.
Just the two of us, ‘n foe by th’ score,
But we stood fast to bar th’ door.
We called for reinforcement, but it was denied,
So we fought, ‘n we fought, ‘n we fought, ‘n we died.
We gave our all for our Uncle Sam,
‘n Obama didn’t give a big God damn,
Just two dead SEALS, who carried the load,
No thanks for us, we were bumps in the road.

[READ MORE HERE]

 

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL

The Whistleblower’s 63nd Annual Seediest Kids of All Campaign (not associated with the Failed United Way) began earlier this week.

We’re featuring some truly inspirational stories about the waifs and urchins we claim to have helped in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky, just so you’ll believe we actually give a big rat’s ass.

Why don’t we have a more traditional holiday guilt campaign like the rest of the news media? No charity made our publisher its president in exchange for free publicity and our endorsement, we don’t have a fat weatherman turned radio talk-show host who was never actually convicted of beating up his girlfriend, and all the really good dead celebrities other than Harriet Beecher Stowe, “Clean Gene” Ruehlmann, and “BeanBall Jim” Bunning have already been taken.

  • WALL STREET WEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says the Stock Market has only plummeted dropped 703.30 points since Obama’s re-election on November 6 (a decline 5.31%). It’s a good thing none of those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters have IRAs.
  • MIDDLE EAST CRISIS: Israel and Gaza are about ready to explode, so where else would Obama be this weekend but winging his way on Air Force One for a totally meaningless trip to Thailand, where he can bow and scrape to some king nobody gives a big rat’s ass about. If that’s not a great reason to borrow more billions from China, we don’t know what is.
  • COUNTDOWN TO TAXMAGEDDON: Taxmageddon is a one-year $494 billion tax increase slated to strike the economy on January 1, 2013. Taxmageddon is made up of several expiring tax policies and the beginning of some major tax increases from Obamacare.
  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 59% say the Divided States of America is currently in a Recession. And still, Obama was re-elected.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Obama’s “The best is yet to come.”
  • LAYOFFS LOOMING: Stryker Corporation in Orchard Park, New York, a company that donated millions to Obama’s re-election campaign, just announced layoffs due to Obamacare, and Ironic Ike now wonders how many of those soon-to-be-laid off employees actually voted for Obama.
  • THUGS ‘R US: Hostess plans to declare bankruptcy and liquidate because of uncompromising Obama supporting union strikers whose leaders convinced them they had to strike for better pay and more benefits. Now they will be unemployed, getting no benefits and a meager unemployment insurance check. More great work from the unions.
  • MEDIA MENDACITY: The Loss of 18,500 Hostess jobs is a big joke to ABC News. The cast of “Good Morning America” on Friday treated the bankruptcy of Hostess and the loss of 18,500 jobs as a hilarious joke. Josh Elliott, George Stephanopoulos, and others guffawed as they handed out Twinkies and ate them on set.
  • OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s, “The economy is so bad MSNBC had to lay off 300 Obama spokesmen”
  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES are mourning the defeat of Sean Donovan for Hamilton County Sheriff. They believe Donovan was the best candidate on the ballot this year, with his support for higher taxes and streetcars. [READ MORE HERE]  
  • THE WHISTLEBLOWER CONSERVATIVE FOCUS GROUP: analyzing (1) what went wrong, (2) what went right, and (3) what, if anything, your GOP leadership at all levels could possibly do to correct their many past mistakes. In nearly every instance in which DemocRATS were out there, trying to make inroads of voters, the Romney campaign was intent on this really clever strategy that involved ignoring those voters.
  • HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: And that goes double for Hamilton County, where Republican candidates confuse going to cocktail parties with “voter contact.” The party needs to do more talking to voters’ faces and less talking behind their backs. Alex T. (who has still not resigned) presides over a regime that fights other Republicans more tenaciously than it fights the DemocRATS.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says according to the History Channel, on this date in 1978, People’s Temple leader Jim Jones led hundreds of his followers in a mass murder-suicide at their agricultural commune in remote northwestern Guyana. Will Republicans at next month’s Hamilton County RINO Party “Holiday Séance” be serving the same Kool-Aid to their guests?
  • OHIO’S HEARTACHE OF IT ALL: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says every conservative organization across Ohio is now congratulating itself after Ohio Republican Governor John Kasich told the Obama Administration to stick its ObamaCare program where the sun don’t shine. Is Kasich’s next re-election campaign off on a roll or what!
  • TEA PARTY PATRIOTS: say if you are so inclined, you may call the Governor at (614) 466-3555 and express your appreciation.
  • ROMNEY SUPPORTERS ANONYMOUS: Problems occurred yesterday when the Hyde Park call center was outsourced to Pakistan (or, “POK-EE-STON” if you’re an Obama fan). When calling the help line, the first question after they determine if a person may be suicidal is: “By the beard of the prophet, can you drive a truck?
  • PORTMAN PUNTS: Our DC Newbreaker says Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Fund-raisers” Portman won’t be the elected as chairman of the Senate Republican’s campaign committee that would have put him in charge of his party’s efforts to win control of the Senate in 2014. You don’t think it was because Mitt Romney’s debate coach just couldn’t round up the votes, do you?
  • GOING GALT: John Galt says productive people should protest against a society that damns them for being productive and expropriates the fruits of their labor. Today’s tip: Barter for goods and services under-the-table
  • FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: In Wednesday’s “Politics Extra” Daily Update, The Fishwrap’sfew readers were reminded that Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt had still not shown any signs of paying back that $500,000 the House Ethics Committee ordered her to pay. And how many times was it that Skaggie Maggie’s Idiotorial Board endorsed “Mean Jean” anyway? By the way, Friday was the one year anniversary of the Clermont County Republican Party Endorsement meeting at which Our Bitch-in-a-Ditch was NOT endorsed!
  • RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: A dozen female members of the House staunchly defended Obama’s Designated Liar, U.N. ambassador Susan Rice against Republican criticism over untruthful remarks about the deadly Sept. 11 Libya attack, suggesting GOP lawmakers’ critical comments were “racist” and “sexist.”
  • THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Now that the City Manager “Doughboy” got his raise, he better get down to the Hostess Thrift Store and buy all the Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Twinkies before they close up. That should hold him over till Monday until he can find a new outlet for the snacks.
  • LOONY LIBERTARIANS: Enthused by receiving three times as many votes in 2012 as he did two years ago, Jim Berns announced he will be a candidate for Congress again in Ohio’s First District in 2014. So what’s he running for in 2013— Mayor of Cincinnati or City Clown-cil?
  • CLOWNS IN CONGRESS: Never mind that whole year-end fiscal cliff thing that could throw the country back into recession? Harry Reid says the US Senate isn’t concerned. They’re outta there until after Thanksgiving week. Besides not working on a tax-and-spending deal, there won’t be any Benghazi-Gate hearings scheduled either.
  • MESSAGE FOR JOHN BOEHNER: Firebrands at Grasstops USA.com say it’s time for John Boehner and Republicans in Congress to stop compromising and start impeaching. They were wrong to think standing up for the Constitution would cost them the 2012 election; and now, some of them are finally coming to realize what patriotic Americans have known all along… that it was their refusal to stand up and do their Constitutional duty that cost them the election. So now it’s time to stop capitulating and start impeaching.
  • NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL: Everybody’s getting ready for Thanksgiving next week and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.

Thanksgiving Turkey
The Turkey struts around the yard
His feathers preened and fluffed.
But in the words of “Mean Jean” Schmidt,
In the end, he’ll just get stuffed.

  • VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: With all those examples of Obama’s Voter Fraud on Election Day, nobody’s surprised those incidents are not being reported by Obama Supporters in the Press, much less being investigated by Obama’s Cover-Up Specialists at Obama’s Justice Department.
  • CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET SAYS “Maybe if the employees of the Clerk of Courts actually lived in Hamilton County, they could vote for their boss and other Republicans.”

Snitch also wonders if Jim Neil will have to buy a replacement for the document shredder when he takes over at the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, since word is the one there is getting is going to be worn out by the time the current occupants leave.

  • LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #322 is to find a feminist and see if she has a sense of humor:

Q: How many men does it take to fix a woman’s watch?
A: What does she need a watch for? There’s a clock on the oven!

  • MR. MASSIE GOES TO WASHINGTON: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Congressman Thomas Massie was on the radio and said when he was in the Kentucky state house he went through phone bills and found over-taxed payers were paying for lines that were no longer being used, equipment that had been replaced, and other unnecessary or duplicated expenses. Do you think he’ll find any of that in DC?
  • HERE COME THE TURKEYS: Thursday was the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2012 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).

And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).

And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.

  • AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how Real Republicans could try to console themselves the next four years during Obama’s second term. “You know badly Obama’s going to screw up,” Kane explained, “so think how many times you’ll be able to say ‘I told you so.” And with any luck, we might even find grounds for impeachment. It worked during Clinton’s second term. Just think how much fun that’ll be!
  • AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

Monday we’ll be telling you why we’re thankful.

Tuesday Real Subscribers will be getting ready for Thanksgiving with their Real E-Mails.

Wednesday we’ll be getting ready for the big upcoming “Black Friday” sales, trying not to make it sound too racist.

Thursday will be explaining how the Obama Administration is turning Thanksgiving into Thanksgetting.

And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “The best part of Thanksgiving Day.”

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day

LINK OF THE DAY

Petraeus sex scandal: everything you need to know

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