Daily Archives: November 17, 2012

Special “Days of Our Lies” E-dition

Saturday, November 17, 2012

All Obama’s Generals Soap Opera Update:

  • JILL KELLEY: one of the women involved in the David Petraeus sex scandal, founded a questionable charity allegedly for cancer patients, along with her husband Dr. Scott Kelley.

Based out of her Tampa, Florida house, the “Doctor Kelley Cancer Foundation” claimed on its tax forms it would be operated exclusively to conduct cancer research and grant wishes of terminally ill adult cancer patients. It has been revealed the foundation spent all of its money not on research but on parties, entertainment, travel, and attorney fees.

Jill Kelley’s twin sister, Natalie Khawam, was also a part of the foundation which filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, and listed in its bankruptcy petition more than $3.6 million in liabilities, including $53,000 owed to the IRS and $800,000 owed to Khawam and her husband. Kelley and her sister Natalie Khawam are Lebanese Arabs. Bobby leach said he was paying so much attention to the story on TV because he thought they were saying “Lesbian Arabs.”

Kelley has been connected to several military leaders, including Petraeus and General John R. Allen. She is alleged to have received up to 30,000 personal emails from General Allen in which the fifty-eight year old general called her “Sweetheart,” among other more intimate terms, and which e-mail exchanges were called the modern day equivalent of phone sex by FBI spokespersons, off the record of course. But can you visualize the 58-year old General Allen emailing Jill Kelley intimate photos of his private parts? Get out the Pepto-Bismo.

  • PAULA BROADWELL: Relating to the other floozie in the sex scandal, a United States official says the Army has suspended the security clearance of the woman having a sexual affair with Army General David Petraeus, which triggered his resignation as head of the Central Intelligence Agency.

The married Paula Broadwell held a high security clearance. Because the clearance was issued through the Army, it was the service’s move to suspend the clearance, which they’ve done.

We’d like to know what Broadwell’s and Jill Kelley’s husbands have to say about this very public love quadrangle. And what about Petraeus’ and Allen’s wives? Do they have a brain?

Isn’t it a prudent to question if Arabs Jill Kelley and her twin sister Natalie Khawam are Middle Eastern spies?

  • BETRAY-US BACK DOOR: CIA directors traditionally enter the Capitol building through the main entrance for congressional hearings. Four star general David Petraeus, for a hearing held on Friday looking into the negligent Benghazi massacre, sneaked into the back door of the Capitol, with Capitol guards blocking off doors and stairways to the public so Be-Tray-Us could slink into a closed hearing without anyone seeing his face. Yeah, a real hero!

What was the reason to have the hearings closed to the public, which has a right to know who messed up, causing the violent deaths of four citizens, when as soon as those Congressmen walked out of the hearing, they blabbed every word they had heard to every TV reporter and camera in sight?

 Now for Something Completely Patriotic

  • THE BATTLING BASTARDS OF BENGHAZI (written by Col. William Bauer, USMC)

We’re the Battling Bastards of Benghazi,
No fame, no glory, no paparazzi.
Just a fiery death in a blazing hell,
Defending the country we loved so well.
It wasn’t our job, but we answered the call,
Fought to the consulate, ‘n scaled th’ wall.
We pulled twenty countrymen from the jaws of fate,
Led them to safety, ‘n stood at th’ gate.
Just the two of us, ‘n foe by th’ score,
But we stood fast to bar th’ door.
We called for reinforcement, but it was denied,
So we fought, ‘n we fought, ‘n we fought, ‘n we died.
We gave our all for our Uncle Sam,
‘n Obama didn’t give a big God damn,
Just two dead SEALS, who carried the load,
No thanks for us, we were bumps in the road.

These Divided States of America

  • OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE says some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way that you can quickly understand them. This quote came from the Czech Republic. Someone over there has it figured out. It was translated into English from an article in the Prague newspaper, Prager Zeitungon.

“The danger to America is not Barack Obama, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their President.”

  • A LESSON IN IRONY: The Food Stamp Program, administered by the US Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever, this week surpassing the 50 million people mark. Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the US Department of the Interior, asks us “PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS!” Their stated reason for the policy is because the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves. So ends today’s lesson.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1973, President Richard Nixon insisted he was not a crook, but that whopper was only surpassed when Presidential Pants-dropper Bill Clinton wagged his finger at the camera and swore “I did not have sex with that woman — Ms. Lewinsky.” These days people are comparing those whoppers with Obama’s explanations of his Benghazi-Gate Scandal, which GOP Senator John McCain called either “lying” or “incompetent.”

Speaking of Nixon, in Wednesday’s “Politics Extra” Daily Update, The Fishwrap’s few readers were reminded that Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt had still not shown any signs of paying back that $500,000 the House Ethics Committee ordered her to pay.

  • KASICH DIDN’T CAVE: Yesterday The Blower encouraged readers to contact Ohio Governor John Kasich’s office and let him know they expect him to hold the line on the Ohio Constitution and not to allow Obama Care into Ohio. It must have worked, since today so-called conservative organizations are now congratulating themselves after Kasich told the Obama Administration to stick their ObamaCare program where the sun don’t shine. Is his next re-election campaign off on a roll or what!
  • ROMNEY SUPPORTERS ANONYMOUS: Problems occurred yesterday when the Hyde Park call center was outsourced to Pakistan (or, “POK-EE-STON” if you’re an Obama fan). When calling the help line, the first question after they determine if a person may be suicidal is: “By the beard of the prophet, can you drive a truck?”

The Cincinnati City Mess (You only Read About in The Blower)

  • THE DOUGHBOY GETS A RAISE: The flunky of Girly-Mayor Mallory, the Cincinnati city mangler, Dough Boy Honey, will be getting a ten per cent annual raise and $35,000 in reparations on top of that. Dough Boy has been pocketing $232,000 per year from the broke city, plus a car and all expenses paid. He rarely shows up at city hall for his job. He will now continue to screw the city for a wage of $255,000 per year plus his lavish benefits, food and paid expenses. The fat Kentucky boy started out six years ago with the city at $185,000. The city currently has a deficit of at least $34 million, but Dough Boy continues to line his pockets with the over-taxed payers’ money, plus all the free food he can eat at the banks restaurant Mahogany and any other restaurant he lumbers into, specially the ones to which he’s given all that free over-taxed payers’ money.

Now that the City Manager “Doughboy” got his raise. He better get down to the Hostess Thrift Store and buy all the Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Twinkies before they close up. That should hold him over till Monday until he can find a new outlet for the snacks…

  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: Last night Republicans for Higher Taxes posted their concern that the iconic Hostess company would have to file bankruptcy. Bad news – this morning they announced that’s exactly what they’ll have to do. Hostess plans to declare bankruptcy and liquidate because of uncompromising union strikers whose leaders convinced them they had to strike for better pay and more benefits. Now they will be unemployed, getting no benefits and a meager unemployment insurance check. More great work from the unions.
  • PERKS IN THE PARKS: In another example of Cincinnati fiscal irresponsibility in a time of fiscal crisis, Cincinnati Parks director Willie F. Carden, Jr. is now building a large addition onto the back of the Krohn Conservatory, blocking the public parking area with construction equipment and huge trucks.

Is the addition going to benefit the public? Absolutely not. Director Willie is building bathrooms, break rooms and a lunchroom for the benefit solely of the Krohn employees. As the Krohn’s director’s office stated, “This addition is for the benefit of our employees”.

Director Willie is also the genius who decided to add daily bow hunting in Mt. Washington’s Stanbery Park in an area where children have explored for years. Isn’t Willie Carden related to Girly-mayor Mallory?

  • CROOKS IN KENWOOD: Matthew Daniels, one of the developers of the rusting Kenwood Towne Place retail and office complex was accused in a federal law suit Thursday on twenty-five charges of deceiving lenders and diverting money for the Kenwood project to other construction projects.

Federal prosecutors said Daniels also used some of the money for his own “personal enrichment.” Imagine that.

Daniels allegedly misappropriated over $25 million from the Bank of America. Knowing this, the Bank continued to provide Daniels with even more money. This past summer, the firm Phillips Edison negotiated with the Bank of America to purchase the complex. We’re surprised the City of Cincinnati didn’t decide to buy it.

  • ALEX’S EXCUSES: Yesterday Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Chairman Alex T, Mall Cop GOP sent out his post-mortem regarding the stomping he took at the polls. This is becoming an annual occurrence.

 In the Sheriff’s race he says “probably a fair number of Republicans” voted against Sean Donovan. That’s understating it, and if Alex had only had the guts to speak to the few Republicans who can address him from their feet instead of their knees he would have known a long time ago that this would happen. Donovan was an unacceptable choice for various types of Republicans, not to mention every DemocRAT. Alex should have known this, and he would have if he’d stop leaning too heavily on out-of-touch, old rich white guys as well as certain Tea Party leaders who are more concerned about getting photographed with elected officials than in representing Tea Party values.

Chairman TryinToFoolYou also discusses the Senate Bill 5 issue and speculates that might have cost Donovan some votes. That may indeed have cost a few, but that’s more of a convenient scapegoat than the reality that Alex dropped the ball on choosing the right candidate. For example, at Jim Neil’s victory party this past Saturday one of our younger conservative snitches was there and had a chance to talk to several current or retired law enforcement personnel. Not one of them mentioned Senate Bill 5 or any other union issue as to why they supported Neil. EVERY SINGLE ONE of them discussed what assholes Si Leis and Sean Donovan are. They also had a lot to say about how Neil worked his way through the ranks and earned his respect by working a range of jobs including Corrections Officer, Bomb Squad, and the SWAT Team, while Donovan was a lackey who rose to Chief Deputy by being Si’s errand boy.

In nearly every instance in which DemocRATS were out there, trying to make inroads of voters, the Romney campaign was intent on this really clever strategy that involved ignoring those voters. And that goes double for Hamilton County, where Republican candidates confuse going to cocktail parties with “voter contact.” The party needs to do more talking to voters’ faces and less talking behind their backs. Alex T. presides over a regime that fights other Republicans more tenaciously than it fights the DemocRATS.

  • HOW STUPID ARE HAMILTON COUNTY REPUBLICANS? So far, we haven’t heard a single cry for Alex T.’s long over-due resignation.
  • BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says the latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders’ politically incorrect e-newsletter isn’t on cyber newsstands yet, but The Blower’s sure when it is, This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court will feature a super-sized dose of serious sociopaths who may be your neighbors. Any more death and destruction and people will start to confuse the Bluegrass state with the killing fields of Over-The-Rhine!
  • TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Thursday was the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2010 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).

And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).

And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.

  • FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane with the Divided States of America in such a mess since Obama’s re-election, who how stupid were all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama people who voted for Obama, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “almost as stupid as an even greater number of people who didn’t show up to vote against him.

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.

TURKEY JOKES HOT LINE

e-mail your evidence of fowl play today.

Some long-wattled items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally long-wattled subscribers.

LINK OF THE DAY

ANOTHER TYPICAL OBAMA VOTER

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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