Sunday, October 14, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER STORY THIS WEEK was Mitt Romney’s “I Feel Your Pain” speech in Indian Hill, Ohio, when the Republican Presidential Candidate delivered a heartfelt address to wealthy rally attendees who make $20 million a year as he continued to tout his plan to fix the economy and “make things right. Unfortunately, that was a satirical piece in “The Onion.”- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was more than five days after Tuesday’s Second Presidential Debate in Hempstead, NY, when town hall attendees were still standing in the now-empty hall at Hofstra University, note cards in hand, patiently waiting for the candidates to actually provide them with answers. Unfortunately, that also turned to be a satirical piece in “The Onion.”
- BUT OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was on Wednesday’s CBS Evening News when correspondent Jan Crawford actually devoted an entire story to Obama’s lie that he’d called the Benghazi attack an “act of terror” early on and indict CNN’s Biased Moderator Candy Crowley Wearing an Obama/Biden Button for aiding and abetting Obama’s disgraceful distortion? Imagine our surprise when we discovered that was an really true story, and not just another satirical piece in “The Onion.”
- MONDAY in our Official “Lawyer Hunting Season” E-dition, The Blower reported Guns Don’t Kill Lawyers, People Kill Lawyers!
Lately there’s been a lot of talk about lawyers in The Blower. A lot of elected officials and politicians we make fun of are lawyers. Some of our best snitches are lawyers. Many of our subscribers are lawyers, not to mention those who claim to be our Faux Facebook “Friends.” Some Presidents of the American Bar Association have even been known to have read The Blower. A few members of the League of Women Vipers might even be lady lawyers. And some of the people who file frivolous lawsuits against The Blower are also lawyers (who have fools for clients), at least until they might be suspended or disbarred.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Shakespeare’s “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” That is, except members of the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team and most members of that Cabal Still out to destroy “Crazy Eric” Deters, Esquire.
At the same time, many attorneys have commented about items in The Blower’s 20th Anniversary Editions we published two years ago.
Now one gun-toting, Hummer-driving Bluegrass prosecutor even said that 22-year-old item about hunting lawyers in Edition #21 should be updated. Hurley the Historian says Dick Cheney was following our rules on that quail-hunting trip in 2006 when he shot his lawyer in the face.
So lest we be accused of promoting assassinations, here’s today’s updated satirical offering.
[READ MORE HERE]
TUESDAY in our Special “Second Presidential Debate” E-dition, The Blower was waiting to see Obama get “Aggressive!” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
While Obama was forced to cram last weekend for tonight’s do-or-die debate, Mitt Romney was drawing huge crowds at victory rallies all over Ohio. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
My Monday Lunken Airport crowd might not have been larger than the 12,000 people who packed themselves into Hangar 10 for that big John McCain-Sarah Palin rally on October 22 in 2008, so we bribed our volunteers to stay around with some great Montgomery Inn Ribs. —Paul Ryan
Most people say our coverage of political rallies is pretty good, and it doesn’t cost $10-per-month like The Fishwrap. —Clermont Tea Party
Who won last week’s Vice Presidential Debate Parody–Saturday Night Live or Taiwan Animation? —Video Watchers
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Undecided Voter Update” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Are These People Too Stupid to Vote?”:
According to Business Insider, Romney and Obama will be answering to a pool of about 100 supposedly undecided voters on Wednesday night at Hofstra University. The voters were selected by the Gallup Organization, which has been tracking the Obama-Romney matchup on a daily basis throughout the general election. This is the 20th anniversary of Gallup’s partnering with the Commission on Presidential Debates for a town-hall style debate. In 1992, Gallup editor in chief Frank Newport said, no one had any idea what questions would be asked, and moderator Carole Simpson moved through the crowd of voters at random.
This year, though, will be a little bit different. All of these voters will come from Nassau County on Long Island. Gallup calls voters and repeats its normal questionnaire. For undecided voters, it probes further and asks if they lean more toward Obama or Romney. If voters identify as truly undecided, Gallup invites them to participate in the debate. Only people who claim to be truly undecided are chosen, not even leaners or voters who say their choice could change are considered. Of the 100, only a few will be selected to ask questions by CNN’s Biased Moderator Candy Crowley Wearing an Obama/Biden Button, whose sole purpose in being there will be to run interference for Obama.
Given the current state of the 2012 Presidential Election, our Quote for Today Committee chose Bush 41’s, “It’s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Obama in Candyland” E-dition, The Blower said The Buck Stopped With Candy!:
Just as The Blower predicted, With only “18” more days until the Presidential Elections, Persons of Consequence who subscribe to the Whistleblower Newswire are still talking about how CNN’s Biased Moderator Candy Crowley Wearing an Obama/Biden Button whose sole purpose in being there was to run interference for Obama, confirmed everybody’s suspicions of her Liberal bias when she injected herself into Tuesday night’s Second Presidential Debate and interrupted Republican Mitt Romney 28 times. In the Vice-Presidential debate, ABC’s Martha Raddatz, only interrupted Paul Ryan 15 times. Photo Shopping Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper shows us, “Go ahead, Mr. President. His time is up.”
Saturday would be Sweetest Day, but Obama already got his Candy Tuesday night.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY in our Special “What If Only Stupid People Vote” E-dition, The Blower concluded the DemocRAT would always win!
From time to time The Blower has casually mentioned how stupid people are and how all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed and still undecided voters should not be allowed to vote. And just to prove it, Jimmy Kimmel sent his cameras out on the street to ask people which candidate had won Tuesday night’s Second Presidential Debate, four hours before that debate actually began.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Official “Sweetest Day” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Who stole all our damn nougats?”
Hurley the Historian said everybody should’ve remembered it was Sweetest Day because it’s always celebrated on the third Saturday in October. Our Quote for Today Committee says we should’ve remembered Ogden Nash’s “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” Boss’ Day, on the other hand, is a non-religious holiday celebrated on October 16. Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say it would be great if Sweetest Day and Boss’ Day fell on the same day, especially if your boss is gay?
But with then only “16” more days until the Presidential Elections, Obama already got his Candy at Tuesday night’s so-called Presidential Debate.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
PRESIDENTIAL POLITICS 2012: This weekend, Obama is hunkered down at Camp David cramming for Monday’s Third Presidential Debate, while Mitt Romney is upping his criticism of Obama’s plans for a second term, accusing the Disingenuous DemocRAT of failing to tell Americans what he would do with four more years.
Meanwhile, local Republicans will be rallying with former Bungals coach Sam Wyche at Paul Brown Stadium before the tonight’s Bengals-Steelers Sunday Night Football Game.
- THE OHIO RINO PARTY: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said Ohio Republican Party Chairman Boob Bennett commended Josh Mandel for his clear command of the issues at Thursday night’s debate and criticized Disingenuous DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown for supporting borrow and tax policies. Isn’t that the same thing he said during after the last debate?
THOSE LOONEY LIBERTARIANS: Ohio First Congressional District Candidate Jim Berns challenged Republican Steve Chabothead, Green Party Candidate Rich Stevenson, and DemocRAT Jeff Sinnard to debate on Fountain Square at noon on Sunday, October 28. Do you think Fountain Square would be big enough for everybody who’d want to see that?- DIALING FOR DOLLARS: Frankly, we can’t believe the local Citizens for Community Values Action Office really is still hiring phone bank callers, especially when you hear they’re paying $15-per-hour. So if you know any unemployed conservatives, have them call (513) 652-5035 right away.
- NO LONGER UNDECIDED: On Fox News, Frank Luntz’s Focus Group of mostly former Obama voters were switching to Romney after Tuesday night’s debate. It was like what that lady who looked like Justice Ginsberg said. It wasn’t that these former Obama voters were “undecided” between Obama and Romney. They had been “undecided” between Romney and “Not Voting,” and Tuesday night, those former Obama voters decided four more years of Obama would be too much. That one gentleman on the panel summed up Obama’s performance is a single word— “Bullshit!” which happened so spontaneously, the network bleep button operator couldn’t push the button in time.
- OBAMA SUPPORTERS UPDATE: Friday, The Blower showed you Jimmy Kimmel’s interviews with some stupid Obama supporters. But lest you think you’ll only find dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed voters that stupid in Hollywood, let’s ask some young Liberal Obama supporters at Ohio University where Obama spoke on Wednesday what they thought about Benghazi. Ohio University alumnus Matt Lauer should’ve showed it on the “Today Show.”
- OHIO ELECTION COMMISSION UPDATE: CityBleat had a big story about how Citizens Opposed to Additional Spending and Taxes had lost its fight to end the Ohio Elections Commission. We’re surprised be didn’t see a press release from the COASTers about that.
- DIGITAL DOOFUSES: Did you see where the print edition for “Newsweek,” like Obama, will be finished at the end of the year? More than two hundred subscribers may be affected. The Fishwrap may take a little longer.
SIGN CENSORSHIP: So how much business is the Lamar Outdoor Advertising losing because that Obama-loving billboard company refused run these digital signs paid for by Patriots Action LLC?- LAWBREAKERS IN CHURCH: Caucasian Clergymen said October 7’s “Pulpit Freedom Sunday” was a big success when pastors ignored the law and endorsed Romney, just like Black preachers always do for Obama. So with three more Sundays before Election Day, will the white guys be doing it again?
MEDIA MENDACITY: CNN now admits that Candy Crowley’s disregard of the rules was intended to help Obama. A CNN memo says Obama was given more time to speak, because he speaks more slowly. No kidding. We now have affirmative action for the Slow Speakers of America, but if interrupters like “um,” “ur,” and “uh” had been counted as words, Obama would’ve had twice as many words as Romney. So see, CNN is the fairest network of all.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1975, Boston Red Sox catcher Carlton Fisk hits a homer off the left-field pole to beat the Cincinnati Reds in the sixth game of the World Series, that all the elite Eastern Liberals still call “The Greatest Baseball Game in History.” Typical Reds Fan Farley Fairweather says, “So what? In Game Seven, starting pitcher Bill Lee threw a slow looping curve which he called a “Leephus pitch” or “space ball” to Reds first baseman Tony Perez who hit the ball over the Green Monster and across the street.
- HOW ABOUT DEM BUNGALS: TV19’s Trish the Dish and Channel 5’s Sheree Paolello are already asking what the The Bungals’ magic number is.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the countdown to Election Day continues. Obama’s much-improved performance in Tuesday night’s debate seems to have stopped his downward trend in the polls but has not yet helped him regain lost ground. Republican hopes for a Senate takeover, on the other hand, are slipping away.- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked many of Mitt Romney’s zingers at the Annual Alfred E. Smith Dinner, including: “I wish President Barack Obama would have bought Vice President Joe Biden with him, because he’ll laugh at anything” and “The President’s new campaign slogan – you’re better off now than you were four weeks ago.” Then there was “Of course we’re down to the final months of the President’s term,” Romney said to applause, and then, “You have to wonder what he’s thinking, speaking here before this crowd (all dressed in white tie): So little time, so much to redistribute.” Or how about when Romney said speaking of Sesame Street as a campaign issue, President Obama’s remarks “are brought to you by the letter O and the number 16 Trillion?”
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose Obama’s line from the Al Smith Dinner: “This is the third time that Governor Romney and I have met recently. As some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.”- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Dishonest DemocRATS will have three additional early-voting days right before the November 6 election because of Tuesday’s U.S. Supreme Court ruling denying an appeal by Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted. Obama’s Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan even got to deliver the good news. So now all those black church-going procrastinators and double voters will get another free bus ride to the Board of Elections and free ice cream after church on November 4.
- THUGS ‘R US: The Florida chapter of the AFL-CIO appears to be encouraging folks to break the law. In a message on the homepage of their website, the union writes, “There is a mantra that we –at the Florida AFL-CIO– like to live by, ‘Vote Early, Vote Often’.”
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #295 is to quote P. J. O’Rourke: “The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.”
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Mitt Romney is winning over white votes by more than 20 points in polls by Fox News, Gallup, Monmouth University, and the Pew Research Center, and is up in a Washington Post-ABC News poll by 11 points. So much for all that Liberal White Guilt DemocRATS were depending on, or as Mitt Romney alluded to at the Al Smith Dinner, Obama was leading from behind. Where’s CNN’s idea of a babe Candy Crowley when Obama could really use her?
- TEA PARTY PATRIOTS: Tea Party Tim says with Tea Partiers doing all the heavy lifting on the Romney campaign these days, local patriots are wondering when they’ll change the name to the Republican-Tea Party.
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES say even though they don’t know him, you don’t know him, and his own party leaders don’t know him, they are proud to endorse Some Guy Named Smith running for Congress against their enemy “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup. They don’t believe Wenstrup had the right to run for Congress against “Mean Jean” Schmidt and certainly didn’t have the right to defeat her.
But did you see the list of people running for Congress who’ve signed Americans for Tax Reform’s “Taxpayer Protection Pledge?” Let’s see, in Ohio we have Steve Chabothead and John Boehner. In Kentucky, Thomas Massie has signed the pledge. So Wenstrup must have forgetten our Tea Party Patriots support candidates who’ve signed that pledge.
ABSENTEE BALLOT UPDATE: The latest information from the Hamilton County Board of Elections shows that although Republican have asked for more absentee ballots than in 2008, they haven’t completed and returned in their absentee ballots. So what they hell are these political procrastinators waiting for…Romney’s Inauguration?- 2012 VENDORSEMENTS: Did The Fishwrap really endorse Race Card Playing DemocRAT Connie “The Pillager” for State Rep-tile? It’s not surprising. With That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt not running this time, Skaggie Maggie’s Idiotorial Board needed to find another unqualified woman to endorse.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Degenerate DemocRATS like Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin and Foxy Roxy Qualls say increasing Clown-cil terms from two years to four years would stop the bickering and fighting at City Hall. But without fighting and bickering, our Nine Fine Clowns would each be paid $240,000 to just sit on their over-paid asses and wait for the Trolley Folly to be built. So if you like fighting and bickering, a volunteer will be happy to deliver a free “Vote No” sign for your yard or business, CLICK HERE.
- HC SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: Ditzy DemocRAT Hamilton County Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter filed a court order on Tuesday requiring county officials to make funds available so she can hire a second $107,000-per-year court administrator along with spending $87,000 to redecorate her boudoir chambers at Juvenile Court, all while Hamilton County Juvenile Court is already $300,000 over budget this year. Everybody’s waiting to see if Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann has the balls to say, “File this, Bitch!”
IN ANDERSON: Local Republicans are wondering when they’ll see Paul Ryan handing out Romney yard signs at Cleaner Concept at 7857 Beechmont Avenue.- SLUTS ‘R US: That Cabal still out to destroy “Crazy Eric” Deters heard from our Kenton County Courthouse snitch, Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff, said if, according to The Fishwrap, infamous sex-ed teacher Sarah Jones tweeted from her now-closed account, does that mean she violated the no-contact order while her prosecution was pending? Perhaps Kenton County should think of charging this stupid floozie again.
- WALL STREET WEEK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says if you were unpleasantly surprised when stocks slumped Friday on the 25th anniversary of Black Monday crash, just wait till you see what happens to your portfolio if Obama gets re-elected.
- CONFRONTING MUSLIM ATTACKS: During a radio debate, Minnesota Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison called his Republican opponent Chris Fields a “scumbag,” twice called him a “lowlife scumbag” and for good measure called him a “gutter dweller” too.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL: Election time is nearing and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.
Outlasting Our Enemies
One of The Blower’s targets
Retires from the scene this year.
Semper Si is hanging it up
And we all will shed a tear.
THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if it was too early to start counting down the number of days until Obama’s Last Day in office on January 20, 2013, and Kane said, “91.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “15” days away.
Monday we’ll be getting ready for the last time you’ll ever see Obama at a Presidential Debate.
Tuesday we’ll know if CBS’ Presidential Debate Moderator Bob Schieffer is a bigger Obama Supporter than Jim Lehrer, Martha Raddatz, and Candy Crowley.
Wednesday checking to see how members of the Obama Administration are spinning and grinning over the latest Benghazi-Gate developments.
Thursday we’ll be guess how many more times we’ll see Romney and Ryan in Cincinnati before Election Day.
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “What folks will be wearing on Halloween Night.”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
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