Special “Undecided Update” E-dition

Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says since The Blower is always available the day before our publication date (e.g. Wednesday’s E-dition comes out on Tuesday), we can’t report on Tuesday afternoon exactly what happened Tuesday night, so today we’ll try to figure out where they dug up all those supposedly undecided likely voters for Tuesday Night’s Televised Town Hall Meeting Presidential Debate between Mitt Romney and Obama.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Tuesday Night Fight

  • According to Business Insider, Romney and Obama will be answering to a pool of about 100 supposedly undecided voters on Wednesday night at Hofstra University. The voters were selected by the Gallup Organization, which has been tracking the Obama-Romney matchup on a daily basis throughout the general election. This is the 20th anniversary of Gallup’s partnering with the Commission on Presidential Debates for a town-hall style debate. In 1992, Gallup editor in chief Frank Newport said, no one had any idea what questions would be asked, and moderator Carole Simpson moved through the crowd of voters at random.

This year, though, will be a little bit different. All of these voters will come from Nassau County on Long Island. Gallup calls voters and repeats its normal questionnaire. For undecided voters, it probes further and asks if they lean more toward Obama or Romney. If voters identify as truly undecided, Gallup invites them to participate in the debate. Only people who claim to be truly undecided are chosen, not even leaners or voters who say their choice could change are considered. Of the 100, only a few will be selected to ask questions by CNN’s Biased Moderator Candy Crowley Wearing an Obama/Biden Button, whose sole purpose in being there will be to run interference for Obama.

Given the current state of the 2012 Presidential Election, our Quote for Today Committee chose Bush 41’s, “It’s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another.”

Candy says, “While I’m shilling for Obama Tuesday night, I’ll also be trying to break ABC News Harpy Martha Raddatz’s record when she allowed a Discourteous DemocRAT like “Smirking Joe” Biden to interrupt a Republican 85 times. And you can rest assured, tonight I’m not going to be just another pretty face.”

Why on Earth would any Republican agree to these formats and moderators?

Both Romney and Obama practiced their fake empathy all weekend.

WANTED: “Undecided Voters.” Apply at local SEIU office. Pay starts at $11-per-hour with bonuses for selection by Gallup for town hall debate. Undecided questions provided by Obama for America included: “President Obama, please tell us why millionaires and billionaires should pay their fair share to help the poor” and “Governor Romney, why do you hate black people and Hispanics?”

Perhaps a good place to start would be with some of Obama’s Unkept Promises from his 2008 Town Hall Forum: “I’m cutting more than I’m spending.” I want to go through the budget line by line, eliminate programs that don’t work, and make programs that do work cost less,” “I want to reform Medicare and Social Security by the end of my first term as president,” and “We can create five million new green energy jobs.”

  • BREAKING NEWS JUST IN TIME FOR THE DEBATE: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says “The buck stops here,” claiming she takes “total responsibility” when it comes to security concerns in Libya in the run up to the attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi that killed four Americans including a U.S. ambassador. Is that coincidence or what?

During the 2008 DemocRAT Primaries when she was running for president, Hillary said “The buck stops in the Oval Office.” Maybe Hillary forgot. Do you suppose anybody will get around to asking Hillary where she ever got the idea a video nobody had ever seen was responsible for the 9/11 attack on our embassies?

  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: on this date in 1973, President Richard Nixon insisted he was not a crook. Maybe that’s another coincidence.
  • MANDEL-BROWN SENATE DANCE CONTEST: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports Ohio Republican Party Chairman Boob Bennett sent out a news release congratulating Josh Mandel on a superb debate performance in Cleveland on Monday and remarked that Ohioans will be happy to retire Sherrod Brown’s reputation as a big spender from the Senate. The Boobster can really stay on message, can’t he? Who ever knew there were holding a dance contest in Cleveland on Monday anyhow?

  • ALSO IN OHIO: Super PAC Tea Party Victory Fund is using the “Obama Phone” lady in a new Ohio swing-state aimed commercial.
  • MORE POLITICS UNUSUAL: With a vacancy looming on the Ohio Supreme Court, Governor John Kasich named Ole’ Blue Face Alex TryinToFoolYou to the committee that will help him appoint a replacement. Republicans for Higher Taxes endorsed Jennifer Triantafilou for the opening. With her qualifications – high school graduate, secretarial experience, and wife of Alex Triantafilou (twice), who could possibly be more qualified for the Ohio Supreme Court. The sad thing is, with Alex T’s history of cronyism this scenario isn’t as far-fetched as you might imagine.
  • SATURDAY SHOOTING: Cincinnati’s Still Untested Police Chief James Craig says the fatality of a Mount Airy woman by an officer was a righteous shooting, since the woman was carrying a knife. Wouldn’t you know, Aggravating Attorney Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters had been hired by the victim’s family and says he intends to file a federal lawsuit.

Note to Crazy Eric: When a deranged person with an edged weapon is charging you and refuses to put it down, you’re allowed to shoot them.

Meanwhile, TV12 News Reporter Cammy Dirking said: “A Cincinnati police officer shot a woman with a knife.” The Vanilla Hills Vigilante wants to know what caliber the knife was.

  • HOW ABOUT THEM REDS: The good news according to Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather is…the Reds will have a manager for next year. The bad news according to Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall is…it’s Dusty Baker. We didn’t really want to go to the World Series anyway.
  • FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the location of Paul Ryan’s next visit to Cincinnati during the next “19” Days until this year’s elections. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “Let’s look at the map. A couple of weeks ago Romney’s Veep was at Byer Steel in St. Bernard. Monday Ryan was dishing out Montgomery Inn barbecue to volunteers at Lunken Airport where people were asking “Where are the ribs?” Continue that trajectory and next week we have him scheduled to hand out Romney yard signs at Cleaner Concept at 7857 Beechmont Avenue in Anderson Township.”

“Why that location?” Somebody asked. “Obviously,” Kane said, “because that’s where they keep the signs.”


UNDECIDED VOTERS HOT LINE

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