Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Real E-mails from Real Subscribers
- When we yelled “Stop the Presses” to announce the Obama Re-election Campaign had played the “Race Card” by launching “African American’s for Obama” during Black History Month, we forgot to mention The Blower had already reported it on February 5. —The Drudge Report (getting scooped one more time)
- Imagine the uproar if the Republican National Committee launched “Whites for Republicans” just before today’s primary elections in Arizona and Michigan. —Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Ron Paul
- We can hardly wait until Obama takes full credit for “Leap Day” tomorrow. —Conservative Calendar Makers
- And now that Black History Month is almost over, everybody’s wondering when it’ll be “White History Month.” —Curious Caucasians
- What’s the biggest difference between Black History Month and St. Patrick’s Day? On St. Patrick’s Day everybody wants to be Irish. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
- Maybe that’s why we chose Rush Limbaugh’s: “Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?” —Your Quote for Today Committee
- Today in 1844, President John Tyler was cruising the Potomac with 400 others aboard the U.S. Navy’s new steam frigate USS Princeton, when a brand new 12-inch, 27,000-pound cannon called the Peacemaker exploded. And you thought screw-ups like that only happened during the Obama Administration. —Hurley the Historian
Nothing can make you forget America’s economic problems like watching a bunch of Obama-supporting millionaires give each other golden statues. —Billy Crystal at the Oscars- We’re really disappointed Obama didn’t win several Academy Awards Sunday night. —Obama Supporters in the Press
- We can hardly believe there are now only seven more days till the Ohio Primaries on Super Duper Tuesday. —Campaign Count-downers at the Conservative Agenda
- Do you think we could charge extra for all those last-minute attack ads? —Local Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
- Are any of my opponents spending any of their own money on last minute TV buys? —That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch
- Wait till you see our endorsements this year. —Feckless Fishwrappers
- Is there still time for me to order my customary last-minute hit piece on Mean Jean’s opponent? —Skaggie Maggie
- Since I’ve been fighting disbarment in Kentucky for more than a year, I probably won’t be able to take part. —Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-DemocRAT Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley
In case you forgot about Jean Schmidt’s vote to raise the Gas Tax 27%, our website is here to remind you. —Republicans for Higher Taxes- Just because I’m a judicial candidate doesn’t mean I should have to put accurate information on my website.” —Ghizzy Lizzy
- Why am I asking Hamilton County over-taxed payers to spend $250 million to fix the Union Terminal building owned by the City of Cincinnati when the city can afford to spend $4.4 million on a wedding atrium that nobody needs? —Museum Center CEO Doug McDonald
- Why do I keep forgetting to remind Republican voters that I have openly supported the streetcar project for years? —Sean Donovan
- Does everyone realize that nearly all of my campaign funds are coming from the Bungals organization and donors outside the District? —$tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg
- Wouldn’t it be funny if the candidate we chose to replace our Disgraced Former County Commissioner had as many skeletons in his closet as Archie Wilson himself? —Clermont Tea Party
- I told Archie he should never apologize. —Disgraced Current Anderson Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien
- Angry Andersonian Salem Hardware owner Steve Duffy has signs saying to “Vote No” on the Forrest Gump School District’s humongous tax hike so township property owners of $200,000 houses can pay $2,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators. —Darryl “Anybody Who Votes for a School Levy is Stupid” Parks
Somebody put a disclaimer on the end of our Political Science Theatre 2012 Promo that said: “Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of the Anderson Community Television (ACT), the ACT Board of Directors, the staff of ACT, or the community governments or the cable company.” —CFK-TV Production Crew- People always ask me why there’s always so much Black History Month Hype. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
- We have African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Asian-Americans, Arab-Americans, and Native-Americans. How about “Just Plain Americans?” —Arnie from Alexandria
Minorities are proud to be black, brown, yellow, and orange, and they’re not afraid to tell you about it. But when white people even admit they’re white, somebody will always call them racist.—Larry from Ludlow
Whenever a white person fails to cut Obama some slack (because he’s half-black), will Liberal bloggers stop whacking off in their basements long enough to label that white person a racist? —Fred from Florence- There’s a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, a Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, but on the South Shore, all we have is the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce. —Bluegrass Business Leaders
- We’re sorry to see all ofThe Blower’s racial healing Black History Month coverage about to end. —Gay Darkies
- When will The Blower start counting down till BB&BJ Day? —Horny in Hebron
- How many days did you say it was until the Ides of March? —Eric “Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters
- I hear Little Georgie fell on hard times at the Oscars Sunday night. —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception
- What’s the Reds’ Magic Number for Spring Training? —TV 19’s Lingerie-Model-Turned-Reporter-Turned-Anchorbimbo Tricia “Leemarie” Macke
- What is it with bleached blondes and baseball? Sheree Paolello just asked Ken Broo the same question. —Jack Atherton, TV5 News
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of racists to show that the hypocrisy all those finger-pointers will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Liberal blogger whacking off in his mother’s basement.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — You know who you are.
WHY WE’LL ALL MISS BLACK HISTORY MONTH ON THURSDAY HOT LINE
e-mail your multi-cultural mumblings today.
Some multi-cultural items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally multi-cultural contributors, but we could always use more.
Link of the Day
What To Do About High Gasoline Prices
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.