Real E-mails from Real Subscribers

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Real E-mails from Real Subscribers

  • According to our Funkin’ Wagnall’s, the proper spelling for yesterday’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day.” —Sidney Spellchecker
  • Why didn’t you just wish everybody a happy patri-idiotic Washington- Adams- Jefferson- Madison- Monroe- Adams- Jackson- Van Buren- Harrison- Tyler- Polk- Taylor- Fillmore- Pierce- Buchanan- Lincoln- Johnson- Grant- Hayes- Garfield- Arthur- Cleveland- Harrison- McKinley- Roosevelt- Taft-Wilson- Harding- Coolidge- Hoover- Roosevelt- Truman- Eisenhower- Kennedy- Johnson- Nixon- Ford- Carter- Reagan- Bush 41- Clinton- Bush 43-Obama Day? —Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady
  • Yesterday we wished everybody Happy “Barack Obama is the Only President We Care About” Day. —Obama Supporters in the Press
  • It’s truly an honor to be among this year’s finalists with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for the Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards during Black History Month, now called Half-Black History Month in honor of the current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. —Buckwheat Blackwell
  • Tomorrow’s the real Washington’s Birthday, in case all you Libtards didn’t know. —Hurley the Historian
  • That’s why we chose Washington’s “Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • Will tomorrow night on CNN be the final GOP Presidential Primary Debate from Mesa, Arizona, since Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, and Ron Paul have refused to debate me at the pre-Super Tuesday Debate in Georgia. —Newt Gingrich
  • After Boehner and the RINOs in Congress most recent cave in to the Disingenuous DemocRATS, we’re trying to find a single Republican Congressman with Balls. —One Lone Tea Party Patriot
  • We don’t plan to cross party lines to disrupt GOP Primaries on March 6, like Republicans did to us in 2008. —Ohio DemocRATS 
  • Did everybody see my interview with TV5’s Jack Atherton last week when I claimed to be “honest and above reproach?” —That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt

LINK OF THE DAY

  • Did you see our mailer calling “Mean Jean” one of the most corrupt members of Congress? —Campaign for Primary Accountability
  • Was The Blower’s “Breaking News” the only place you saw an exclusive photo of City workers filling in the holes as soon as the cheering crowds had left Friday’s Phony Photo Op, at the groundbreaking on our Girly Mayor’s $110 million Trolley Folly, without a clue about where all that over-taxed payers money would be coming from? —Streetcar Critics

  • Is it only a coincidence that the Folly Trolley and that Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center have the exact same price tag of $110 million? They should start by having the Trolley go in circles around the White Guilt Museum.  That way two money pits can be close together.  Mallory can be the conductor on that Folly Trolley to nowhere. Then he can have two “legacies. Go Figure!!!   —Trolley Tattler Tino Delgato
  • Don’t forget, the City of Cincinnati’s employee time off payment liability is $110 million too. —Your City Hall Snitch
  • The FAA told the City and Dough Boy they cannot use the money from the sale of the Blue Ash airport property to pay off $11 million in street car bonds! Dough Boy wants a do over and Blue Ash said “NO WAY.” The FAA said the money has to stay within the local airport system. Blue Ash does not want to run the airport and Cincinnati wants to close it. —Bill from Blue Ash
  • If your house at 7964 Hopper Road in “the third most affluent neighborhood in America” according to Forbes is in foreclosure for a mere $373,137.80, would you still have to pay $4,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators if the Forrest Gump School District’s humongous tax hike passes? —Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien
  • Our pilot program being developed on Anderson Community Television is scheduled for some production and editing this week. —The CFK-TV Production Crew
  • Where’s all the news coverage of this year’s Mardi Gras celebration? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • It was so tame this year, our “Girls Gone Wild at Mardi Gras” tape could turn out to be a real bust. —Mainstrasse Merchants
  • You know you love Mardi Gras too much if you wake up in court with your pants on backwards. —Archie Wilson
  • We were even going to run a special “Mardi Gras” edition of our “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” Newsletter, but nothing exciting happened. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders

  •  Did you know Mardi Gras means “Fat Tuesday?” —Weight Gainers 

  • Does anybody at Channel 5 remember when they used to call Fat Tuesday e-Norma’s Tuesday? —Quisling Charlie Luken
  • Did you know when you translate “Mardi Gras,” it means “Fat Mardi.” —Goof Doofus
  • I keep dreaming about Mardi Gras Night at a casino. —Bluegrass Governor Steve BeShear
  • I keep dreaming about our DemocRAT Dominatrix dressed only in beads. —Rick “The Batboy” Robinson
  • Whenever I throw beads at slutty girls, they always throw them back. —Will “The Thrill” Terwort
  • Do you think they’ll be doing anything special for Mardi Gras at Golden Corral tonight? —Clueless Marc Wilson
  • For some of us, every Tuesday is “Fat Tuesday.”  —Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
  • How many more days did you say it was until the “Ides of March?” — Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters
  • You can’t imagine how much drinking goes on at Mardi Gras. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith 
  • When will The Blower start counting down till BB&BJ Day? —Horny in Hebron
  • Why do they always celebrate Mardi Gras on a Tuesday? —TV 19’s Lingerie-Model-Turned-Reporter-Turned-Anchorbimbo Tricia “Leemarie” Macke
  • You won’t believe it, but Sheree Paolello just asked me the same question. —Jack Atherton, TV5 News 

        —  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

   Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Mardi Gras to show that women who bare their breasts in public for a few crummy beads will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a real slut. 

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially bead-throwers.  

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here