WB for 14 Feb

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Real E-mails from Real Subscribers

  • Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’ll raise your taxes, so what else can you do. —A Valentine from Obama
  • Here was the Valentine we sent Obama: Roses are red, violets are blue. Your words may be sweet, but hey, get a clue. —2012 Republican Presidential Candidates, still in the race.
  • That 2013 Budget Plan Obama presented on Monday was just another love letter to the Over-Taxed Payers of America. —Obama Supporters in the Press
  • Obama’s Valentine was just more taxes and spending wrapped up in a Class Warfare package. —Republicans in Congress
  • Watching Sarah Palin’s speech on Saturday was an early Valentine, especially when she called Obama’s “Winning the Future” slogan “WTF.” —Conservative Activists at CPAC
  • Don’t tell my sponsors at The Fishwrap, but didn’t get a single Valentine from the Romney Ballot Stuffers in CPAC’s Vice Presidential Straw Poll. —Ohio’s U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Favorite Sons” Portman
  • Did a big Super Pac like “Alliance for Self Governance” really borrow The Whistleblower’s files before they started sending my constituents all those negative Valentines about me? — That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt
  • Did everybody see the Valentine I sent Newt on Monday, when Fox TV News interviewed me in NoKY with the Cincinnati skyline in the background to comment on the March 6 Ohio Primaries in only 21 more days? —Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen
  • Imagine a 2012 Presidential Contender like Rick Santorum showing up at Lincoln Day Dinners in Warren County and Brown County on Friday night, especially when Alex T. Mall Cop GOP at the Hamilton County RINO Party doesn’t even have a Lincoln Day Dinner on the schedule.  —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
  • Just to be safe, we let the bomb squad open that Valentine Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine’s bullies sent us. —John Kasich 
  • On this day in 1903, toy store owner and inventor Morris Michtom places two stuffed bears in his shop window, advertising them as “Teddy” bears. —Hurley the Historian
  • Ironically, although he was an avid conservationist, Roosevelt-led hunting trips often resulted in excessive slaughter, including one African trip during which his party killed more than 6,000 animals for sport and trophies. However, the idea for the teddy bear likely arose out of one of Roosevelt’s more compassionate acts. —The History Channel
  • Is it OK if we join The Blower and WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Darryl Parks in telling the truth about the Forrest Gump Schools humongous tax hike so township property owners of $200,000 houses would be paying $2,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators.? —Anderson Tea Party Patriots

  • Not only do we have three projects in development on Anderson Community Television, but we already have an idea for our own station I.D. —CFK TV
  • Here’s a great idea for Valentine’s Day. You can boink somebody’s brains out when you join our “Mile High Club.” —Flamingo Air at Lunken
  • This year it’s OK to send same sex Valentines at Cincinnati City Hall. —Girly Mayor Mark Mallory
  • How’d you like the way I celebrated Black History Month by sending Valentines to all those DemocRAT Vote Frauders with my decision to hand over that 2010 Hamilton County Juvenile Court Judge seat that Judge John Williams won fair and square to Disgruntled DemocRAT Tracie Hunter?  —Clintonista Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley
  • My Valentine to The Fishwrap Idiotorial Board (after they urged Hamilton County Commissioners to put a Union Terminal Tax Hike on the ballot) is also available at Page Two of my Gallery on The Whistleblower Web Page. —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception

  • Why wouldn’t the Hamilton County Commissioners want to give me a $141 million Valentine to fix a $24 million building that’s owned by the City?  Cincinnati has to save their money for our Girly Mayor’s Trolley Folly.” —Overpaid Museum Center CEO Douglass McDonald
  • I hope everyone figures out the real reason I gave a $1,000 Valentine to $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg” —Bungals Owner “Millionaire Mike” Brown
  • The best thing is to get married on Valentine’s Day (like I did). Besides showing someone how much you love her, you’ll save buying one present each year. Even better, marry somebody whose birthday is on Valentine’s Day too. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
  • Yesterday, you won’t believe the number of guys in Northern Kentucky who called trying to wheedle an invitation to Miss Vickie’s Valentine’s Day Party. —Ken CamBoo
  • If Clermont County Commissioner does his perp walk at his arraignment on Tuesday, we have a special Valentine for him. —Kenton County Attorney Scarry Garry Edmondson
  • Do you think we’ll need a special edition of my “This Week in Kenton County Circuit Court” newsletter this week? —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
  • Today we’re serving heart-shaped baloney sandwiches at the Kenton County Escape Center. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
  • If you forgot to get your girlfriend a Valentine’s Day present, you could just buy her a mattress for Presidents’ Day. —Horny in Hebron
  • It doesn’t matter if she lives in a hovel, this Valentine’s Day you should give her a shovel. — Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves
  • You’ll never guess who’s registered here for Valentine’s Day presents. —Victoria’s Secret stores in Crestview Hills and Florence
  • Maybe that’s why we chose “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • Valentine’s Day erections lasting more than four hours, although somewhat rare, can be extremely dangerous and require immediate medical attention. —The Kenton County Coroner
  • I remember the good old days when I used to use my column to plug restaurants in Podunk so I can get free meals on Valentine’s Day. —Nick Looney
  • Remember when our guy stole all those panties from Victoria’s Secret? He was a really romantic son of a gun. —Vanilla Hills Vigilantes
  • Do they have any special Valentines for bad little boys who need a spanking?   —DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob
  • Do they have any special Valentines for women who fake their orgasms? —Up Tight Bitches in Fort Mitchell
  • Do they have Valentines you can send to a sheep? —Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams
  • If a lobbyist sent somebody a Valentine, would that be considered a bribe? —Clueless Marc Wilson
  • With the May 22 Bluegrass Primary on 98 days away, how about a Valentine’s Day fund-raiser? —Bluegrass Republican Candidates campaigning for Goof Doofus’ seat in Congress
  • Will Kentucky courthouses be open on Valentine’s Day, in case somebody wanted to file a frivolous lawsuit? — Eric ‘Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator’ Deters
  • Women looking for a little action a week before Mardi Gras are always welcome on Valentine’s Day. —Mainstrasse Bars
  • Although the number of sexually oriented businesses in Northern Kentucky has shrunk in recent years, you can still always get a quick hand job on Valentine’s Day. —Phyllis on Madison
  • You can still rent rooms by the hour at the Skank Motel in Erlanger on Valentine’s Night. —Amanda Lay
  • There are still a little more than four more weeks to wait for BB&BJ Day.  —Bobby Leach
  • Would it help our ratings if Trish “The Dish” wore flimsy see-through Victoria’s Secret lingerie on our Channel 19 News on Valentine’s Day? —Channel 19 News
  • Do you think Sheree Paolello would do that on TV5? —Jack Atherton, No Longer Doing the TV5 News at 11PM

—Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—      

Sometimes The Blower exposes a disgraceful dildo distributor to show that profiting from perversion is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t addicted to vibrators.

          Disclaimer: This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially “Patty Brisbane.”

DILDO DELIVERY HOT LINE

e-mail your size requirements or testimonials today.
(Especially Strauss & Troy attorneys and their spouses)

Some vibrating items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vibrating subscribers. 

Link of the Day 

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.