Friday, February 10, 2012
Top Ten List
Today it’s the top ten reasons the Resigned in Disgrace Former Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson traded drugs for sex with hooker who called herself “Amanda Lay” at a sleazy motel in Northern Kentucky:
10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’m a Tea Party Republican
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Reason Resigned in Disgrace Former Clermont County Commissioner Archie traded drugs for sex with a hooker who called herself Amanda Lay at a sleazy motel in Northern Kentucky is… the guys at GOP Headquarters and the campaign manager of my first political campaign for Batavia Township Trustee (none other than That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt) said nobody would ever find out.
- Editor’s Note: We’ve successfully used the format for this Whistleblower Top Ten List for every sex scandal for more than twenty years, ever since 1991 when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over all over town. Items 4. (in this case “I’m a Tea Party Republican”) and the people who said “nobody would ever find out” were changed according to who the person was. Amazingly, it’s just as good today as ever.
What’s In A Name?
By John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph
Amanda Lay (phonetic pronunciation “a – man – ta – lay”), is Archie Wilson’s Bluegrass Bimbo. It gets better. Amanda used the alias “Tiffany Fee” when registering for the motel rooms they used. The Pipe Layer from Midwest Plumbing paid her in cash and cocaine, giving a whole new meaning to the term “Blow Job.”
You Mean “Amanda Lay” Isn’t Her Real Name?
One of the funniest parts of the entire Archie Wilson Scandal is watching those guys on radio and TV trying to keep a straight face whenever they say the name of Archie Wilson’s Bluegrass Bimbo. “Amanda Lay?” You’ve got to be kidding. “I can’t imagine a prostitute not using a fake name,” said Jerry Springer. At least Archie wasn’t stupid enough to pay her with a check.
And how about the fake name Archie used— “Mike Hunt?” Has anybody seen Mike Hunt? That’s right out of “Porky’s”
- Actually, the Whistleblower Research Department says 60-year-old Archie Wilson’s 27-year-old Bluegrass Bimbo Amanda N. Lay uses several aliases and varying addresses.
In Clermont County: Case 2008 CRB07699 Misuse of a credit card (According to docket, there is still an existing bench warrant out on her for this case, issued 6/11/2011. This one’s probably what she went to jail for.)
Case 2008 CRB00252 Receiving stolen property (Convicted of a lesser offense)
Case 2008 CRA07698 Receiving stolen property (Dismissed by wimp judge Thomas Herman)
Case 2008 TRD 00286 Driving Under Suspension (Convicted)
In Hamilton County: C/08/TRD/26545 Safety Restraint Violation (Paid $65 fine after capias issued)
C/09/CRB/12823 Disorderly Conduct (Paid $180 fine)
Under name “Amanda Nuesse” aka “Amanda Lay” C/10/CRB/29729 Disorderly Conduct (Convicted, paid $104 through Probation Dept., 30 days which were suspended)
Also, she was in Clermont County jail in June, 2011, when she started talking to officials about Archie Wilson
The Case So Far
A week ago, The Blower had an exclusive on the Archie Wilson Sex for Drugs Scandal Story.
On Ground Hog Day we reported “The Big Game Hunter’s” mysterious disappearance.
Sunday, The Blower asked when the news was reported that Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson had resigned, and there was all that speculation about the reasons, why didn’t our Feckless Fishwrappers tell their readers what they’d heard.
Monday as word came out about “investigations” and Archie’s fall from grace in Northern Kentucky, and The Blower predicted a real “Jimmy Swaggart Moment” for our Bible-thumping, Tea Party banner-waving Commissioner, who wanted to turn downtown Batavia into a junk yard, one way or another. Obviously, Jesus couldn’t be looking over Archie’s shoulder whenever he left the office.
In Tuesday’s “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” Kenton County Attorney Scarry Garry Edmondson asked, “Why do so many people think I’m covering up Clermont County Commissioner Archie “The Pipe-Layer” Wilson’s Sex for Drugs Scandal in Northern Kentucky?” Attorneys for The Fishwrap said, “We keep asking Scarry Garry if a ‘summons’ and its attachments are public documents.” Tim Rudd and his Clermont Cronies said, “Let’s hope nobody is able to trace a cover-up back to us.” And Anderson Community Television said, “If there’s a ‘video,’ is that the sort of thing Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane will be presenting on his upcoming public access TV show?”
Wednesday in Clermont County, the Cronies wanted to know the latest gossip about Resigned-in-Disgrace Former Commissioner Archie “The Pipe-Layer” Wilson’s Sex for Drugs Scandal in Northern Kentucky. Do you think they caught him celebrating BB&BJ Day a little early this year? And what would the Cronies think when they find out Tim Rudd and some of their own knew the scandalous details and have been covering them up ever since?
Thursday, Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel said just as The Blower had predicted, Archie Wilson’s Jimmy Swaggart moment was coming closer, and we’re sure Archie’s rumored attorney Bob Lotz was planning it as we spoke, especially after Channel 19’s Trish “The Dish” did the “second thing she’s most famous for” by using her feminine wiles, getting somebody in Scarry Garry Edmondson’s Kenton County Attorney’s Office to spill everything he knew so TV 19 could report that a misdemeanor warrant had been issued for Disgraced Former Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson, accusing him of paying for sex with drugs.
So why didn’t Channel 19 name Archie’s prostitute Amanda Marie Lay or that notorious motel in Kenton County where those sex-for-drugs parties took place? WXIX-TV’s sales department could’ve sold them some spots.
The Blower even showed you Amanda Lay’s Facebook Page. No Kidding
Response to Yesterday’s Hotline Was Phenomenal
We asked a representative of the Ohio Attorney General’s Office how we knew for sure Archie’s Bluegrass Bimbo was the same woman, and he said unless she has an identical twin that goes by the same name, it’s her. Not to mention if you look through her friends list the vast majority of the people went to various Clermont County high schools. No Kidding.
On Facebook, Amanda said her other interests and activities included: Texas HoldEm Poker, FarmVille, Crime City, Crimecitygame, WE love Games, Mandatory Life Sentences for Pedophiles & Child Molesters, and Death for Child Killers.
Horny from Hebron told us to check out the charming pictures on her profile. They included Archie’s Inamorata hugging some black dude, what appears to be her two children, and one of her boyfriend with one of the children.
- Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says there’s a real jurisdiction problem with the Archie Wilson Sex for Drugs Scandal Story. Not just between Kenton County Attorney Scarry Garry Edmondson (whose office handles misdemeanors) and our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders (whose office handles felonies) because of the amount of drugs involved. And if the DEA were involved, would somebody try to make a Federal Case out of it? In any case, over at the Kenton County Escape Center, Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl says he hopes Archie Wilson likes baloney sandwiches, if he ever shows up in Northern Kentucky again.
- Local TV stations are in a feeding frenzy over the Archie Wilson Sex for Drugs Scandal Story, which came just in time for the Ratings Period Sweeps Month. Each station is trying to outdo each other. So far TV12’s Joe Webb has the most vile-and-disgusting interview. [WATCH IT HERE] After all, when a prostitute says “I wouldn’t call him disgusting because everybody has their own flaws but he was dirty. A dirty guy,” that’s really got to hurt.
- A similar jurisdictional dispute is occurring right here at The Whistleblower-Newswire. Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo claims its his story, since the Archie Wilson’s plumbing truck has been spotted at so many sleazy motels in Northern Kentucky. Northern Kentucky mayors and police chiefs are all calling, trying to get their names in The Blower. And in Fort Mitchell, everybody wants to know if “Amanda Lay” is related to Clown-cilman Will “The Spill” Terwort’s inflatable girl friend “Amanda Hugankis.” But most amazing is the fact that Eric ‘Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator’ Deters hasn’t been on TV defending this unfortunate flower of womanhood.
And let’s not forget Clermont County. Our Clermont County Crusader wants in on this story too. As we always like to say, it’s not the crime that gets someone in trouble nearly as much as the cover-up. Except in the case of Archie “Big Game Hunter” Wilson. In this case, both are pretty outrageous.
Tim “The Dudd” Rudd and the Clermont Cronies are circling the wagons in preparation for Archie Wilson’s “Jimmy Swaggart” moment. Rudd was on television yesterday asking for prayers for Arch and his family. The Cronies on the GOP Central Committee are laying the groundwork already to explain to the rest of the sane world how the Clermont County Republican Central Committee could have ever endorsed someone like Wilson for any public office. In reality, it was very, very easy. After all, the Tea Partiers control nearly 43% of the GOP Central Committee in Clermont and until these charges were brought to light, the Tea Partiers pointed to the Archster as their hero. It was the Tea Party that propelled him into office. In fact, The Big Game Hunter was on the campaign committee for George Pattison who was just elected municipal court judge. Wonder how Judge Pattison feels about sentencing hookers and drug dealers now, knowing he was propped up by Wilson. And even more recently, during the same months police were filming the Archster laying his pipe in Northern Kentucky hotels with hookers and feeding them coke, Archie Wilson was out pushing Vince Faris to run for Clermont County Prosecutor. Vince Faris and Archie Wilson have something in common, since Faris regularly defends hookers and drug dealers. Just imagine if Archie Wilson’s hand-picked candidate for Prosecutor Faris were to have gotten elected and this scandal had never seen the light of day as some hoped? That would have allowed Archie to do as many drugs and run as many hookers as he wanted in Clermont County without fear of prosecution, because they would have known he controlled the budget for the Court, the jail and the prosecutor’s office as a Commissioner. Is this the change tea partiers sought in Clermont County?
Another aspect of this scandal is how Clermont County Sheriff Tim Rodenberg and his Chief Deputy Rick “Double Dippin” Combs could have investigated these crimes and not told anyone about them. We’re certain that the impending scrutiny that is sure to follow the good sheriff in the coming weeks is why he sanitized his personal Facebook page yesterday and removed that rather odd photo of himself in bed with no shirt on with his German Shepherd’s head between his legs. At some point, someone has to question what was going through Rodenberg’s head when he did not feel the need to pursue the claims made by the hooker who ultimately gave up Wilson as her supplier.
- And has anybody mentioned the fact that Greater Cincinnati has one of the highest venereal disease rates in the nation? The Blower hopes Archie and Amanda were practicing safe sex.
- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about The Blower’s rather adolescent coverage of the Archie Wilson Sex for Drugs Scandal so far. “I know,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher admitted. “The Archie Wilson Sex for Drugs Scandal makes Judge Pat DeWhine look like ‘Husband of the Year.’ I haven’t had quite this much fun since high school.”
Stories We’re Working On
Where’s Archie?- Jerry Springer asks Amanda Lay if she accepts credit cards
- Why Archie used the name “Mike Hunt”
- Amanda Lay wants you as a Facebook Friend
- Tim Rudd claims no cover-up in Clermont County
- Tea Party says “Don’t blame us”
- “Mean Jean” really did run Archie’s first campaign
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said they wanted to spend Valentine’s Day:
(A) A romantic dinner: 8%
(B) Remembering better days: 2%
(C) Surfing the net for old girlfriends: 21%
(D) Having hot sex: 69% (no kidding)
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Procrastinator Punished
This week, everybody who thinks Valentine’s Day should be a national holiday e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
Our winner is well-known postponer Danny Dawdler, who says, “Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till next week.” But Danny advises you not to forget St. Valentine’s Day. Your car will be covered in guano. Not only without a good roll in the hay, you’ll likely be singing soprano.
Danny wins an autographed copy of Lothario Leach’s new book, “Dating Tips for Horny Guys,” a Whitman’s Sampler with all the chocolate-covered cherries already eaten, a copy of The Blower’s Top Ten Things Men Shouldn’t Say Out Loud When They’re Shopping for a Valentine’s Day Gift at Victoria’s Secret, and a gift basket of dildos and such from Dildo World CEO Patty Brisben, just like the ones Joe “The Gals in the Office All Love Me” Braun arranged for his Strauss & Troy partners to give to their spouses and girl friends. His winning entry is:
If you forget St. Valentine’s Day
Oh, boy, oh boy, will you pay
You’ll have to wait
Till September the eight
If you ever wanna get a lay.
If you forget St. Valentine’s Day
Is it a sign of your love’s decay?
Are you so obsessed with Obama
That you can’t take care of yo’ Mama,
‘Cause that tingle in your leg’s still in play?
And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked and now has something to tell the padre at this week’s confession):
If you forget St. Valentine’s Day
And you don’t know quite what to say
Just tell her, ya’ know
You had to shovel the snow
Maybe she’ll buy that, okay?
(The one he DIDN’T send was this one):
If you forget St. Valentine’s Day
And you’re looking for a roll in the hay
Your only hope for gratification
Rhymes with (… uh, you know)
Unless, of course, you are gay.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“A woman we’ll call Amanda Lay”
CHEATING COMMISSIONERS HOT LINE
e-mail your incriminating videos today
Some scandal-mongering items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally scandal-mongering subscribers
Link of the Day
Why Archie Wilson Used the Name “Mike Hunt”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.