WB for 7 Feb

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

  • When a Republican like me appeared in that “Halftime in America” Super Bowl ad for bailed-out Chrysler (on which U.S. over-taxed payers only lost 1.3 Billion), do you think Obama will use it when he campaigns this year? —Clint Eastwood 
  •  Don’t forget our spots which portrayed enthusiastic American workers back on domestic assembly lines actually turning out refrigerators in Louisville, while speaking glowingly of the future. —General Electric
  •  Madonna’s Super-Bowl Half Time Show was only slightly less gaudy than what we have planned for victory celebration in only “272” more days. —The Obama Re-election Campaign 
  • Please don’t ask why we’re re-writing the rules to make Obama’s unemployment rate drop. —Obama’s Bureau of Labor Statistics
  • Please don’t ask why we don’t pay our taxes. —36 members of Obama’s White House Staff
  • Did the Whistleblower-Newswire cover our big Candidates Night for two important primary races last night on Reagan’s Birthday? You bet! As the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the Tri-state, our readers know to expect nothing less. —Anderson Tea Party, Cincinnati East Tea Party and Liberty Alliance
  • I blew off those “Little Hitlers” in the Tea Party last night, just like I did last month, when all those people at the Anderson Township Republican Club Candidates Night wondered where I was. —That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt
  • The truth is, “Mean Jean” doesn’t have to face the voters, not as long as my Feckless Fishwrappers can publish last-minute hit pieces against her opponents and WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham can cover-up her lies. —Skaggie Maggie
  • Please don’t ask what inducements were offered for us to get into the Ohio Second Congressional District Race and dilute “Mean Jean’s” opposition. —Tony Bush and Fred Kundrata, whoever in hell we are
  • That sounds like some of the things we used to do in “Patronage County!” —Commissioner Filch, Commissioner Pilfer, and Commissioner Swindle
  • Did you see where Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters and Justice Paul Pfeifer are going at it? —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception

  • Did you see that my Self-Serving State Central Committee voted to endorse themselves?  Why worry about fighting Determined DemocRATS in November when we can use GOP resources to fight other Republicans now?  —Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine
  • Did everyone see the dishonest ad we’re running on behalf of State Rep-tile for Sale Peter Stautberg in his race against “Tax Killer Tom” Brinkman?  Why worry about fighting Determined DemocRATS in November when we can use GOP resources to fight other Republicans now?  —Speaker Bill Backstabber
  • I hope everyone saw the piece from Republicans for Higher Taxes that discussed Mike Brown’s $1,000 donation to me.”  —Peter Stautberg, the Best State Rep-tile that Money Can Buy
  • It’s not just our dirty little secret anymore. Now USA Today has told the world my Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center is a losing proposition! —Rob” Fighting for Freedom Center Funding” Portman
  • Do you think four year terms would be long enough, especially if our current term limits won’t apply? —Cincinnati’s New Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil
  • Why should anybody care that Tracy Winkler hired me for a job in the Clerk of Courts office that I’m not qualified for? —Tony “The Jabroni” Rosiello
  • Can you believe we’ve been tipped off to another instance of cronyism in Tracy Winkler’s Clerk of Courts office?  Stay tuned.  —Republicans for Higher Taxes
  • Yesterday was the last day you could legally register to vote in the March 6 Primary Elections in only 28 more days. —DemocRAT Vote Frauders
  • Why do so many people think I’m covering up Clermont County Commissioner Archie “The Pipe-Layer” Wilson’s scandal in Northern Kentucky? —Kenton County Attorney Scarry Garry Edmondson
  • We keep asking Scarry Garry if a “summons” and its attachments are public documents. —Attorneys for The Fishwrap
  •  Let’s hope nobody is able to trace a cover-up back to us. —Tim Rudd and “The Clermont Cronies”
  • If there’s a “video,” is that the sort of thing Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane will be presenting on his upcoming public access TV show? —Anderson Community Television
  • Would the Beloved Whistleblower Publisher have time to pose for a picture when I’m in town today? —Newt Gingrich
  • On this date in 1974 Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” opened in movie theaters, and what a great Black History Month Moment that was. —Hurley the Historian
  • Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”
  • We pride ourselves on being non-political. That’s why Forrest Gump Schools Superintendent Dallas Jackson’s featured speech at our monthly membership meeting was not meant to rally support for the Gumper’s Humongous School Tax Hike, so local property owners of $200,000 houses can pay $2,000 to support the greedy teachers and administrators. —The Anderson Chamber of Commerce prides itself on being non-political
  • That’s why I always say “If you vote for a school tax levy , you’re stupid.” —WLW Hate Radio’s Darryl Parks
  • At next year’s Super Bowl in New Orleans, Bungals fans will still be watching it at home. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • The best Super Bowl ad on TV was the one where that sexy Teleflora girl says “Give and you shall receive,” promising you a “Happy Valentine’s Night.” —Horny in Hebron
  • We’ll drink to that. —Michael “Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
  • You’ll never guess how many people are trying to get themselves invited to my Annual Valentine’s Night Party. —Miss Vicki
  • You’ll never guess who’s registered here for Valentine’s Night presents. —Victoria’s Secret stores in Crestview Hills and Florence
  • Maybe that’s why we chose “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • Hey, everybody, Mardi Gras is only two weeks away. —Mainstrasse Merchants
  • There are still a little more than five more weeks to wait for BB&BJ Day.  —Bobby Leach
  • When do the Bungals get to play in the Super Bowl? —Trish the Dish at TV 19 News
  • My favorite Super Bowl commercial was the one with the football player with all that hair.  —Jack Atherton, TV5 News

  — Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—      

Sometimes The Blower ridicules Super Bowl Hype to show that placating the masses with bread and circuses is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t still voting on his favorite Super Bowl TV commercials.

Disclaimer: This publication is sometimes a work of fiction, but it may still contain inappropriate remarks and unsupported personal attacks, especially shameless sponsors willing to pay $3.5 million for a 30-second ad.

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Link of the Day

FIAT 500 Abarth – 2012 Super Bowl Commercial – Seduction

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