Friday, February 3, 2012
Post Ground Hog Day Hangover
Our Ornery Obama Observer knows that Ground Hog Day came and went yesterday, but with “276” more days until the 2012 Elections, he sure as hell feels like he’s still living through the same malarkey over-and-over-and-over again.
Punxsutawney Phil made his prediction, and just like The Blower foretold in Tuesday’s E-dition, we’ll all have six more weeks of the same old hype—at least.
Meanwhile in Washington, Potomac Phil, a stuffed groundhog in his first prognostication ever, agreed with Punxsutawney Phil. Both predicted six more weeks of winter, and the Dead Groundhog predicted many more months of gridlock.
Except of course in that whacky 2012 Republican Presidential Primary Rumble, where there are only 46 more states to go! In Las Vegas, Noted Nevada Political Reporter Keno Tadwell says Donald Trump will be making another one of his “surprise announcements” on Saturday, just to liven things up as caucus-goers decide who gets 24 more GOP delegates. Can you have a caucus in a casino? Another 24 delegates are up for grabs in Maine on Saturday, but voting there will go on between February 4-and 11.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Robert Orben’s “Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?” Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen would thoroughly agree.
In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker says the Obama Re-election Campaign at the White House has just launched its “2012 African-Americans for Obama,” as part of the administration’s Black History Month Celebrations.
- Hurley the Historian says on this date in 2005, Alberto Gonzales won Senate confirmation as the nation’s first Hispanic attorney general despite protests over his record on torture, but he was hounded out of office in only two years over made-up scandals by Degenerate DemocRATS in Congress and their willing accomplices in the liberal press.
More Politics Unusual
- In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says some lawmakers are working on a bill that would restrict smoking in cars. We can’t expect Bill Seitz to support something like that.
- How excited are local DemoCRATS that Michelle Obama’s coming to Cincinnati for a big fund-raiser on February 23? David A. Pepper even used campaign funds to tell Demo-Labor Partiers how “thrilled” he was. No Kidding!
With only 32 more days until Primary Elections in Ohio, critics of That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt learned that according to her Federal Elections Commission Report, on November 24, 2011, Old Wrinkle Puss paid lawyers at Chester, Wilcox & Saxbe $1,122.90 for legal services. Aren’t these the same lawyers the Congressional Ethics Committee said had “misled” her? What else happened on November 24? Here’s a hint.
And did you see where Mean Jean took $20,000 out of her campaign fund to begin paying herself back for that $274,000 “loan” she made way back when. Isn’t that what incumbents do on their way out the door?
- The Anderson Chamber of Commerce prides itself on being non-political. That’s why Forrest Gump Schools Superintendent Dallas Jackson’s featured speech at yesterday’s monthly meeting was not meant to rally support for the Gumper’s Humongous School Tax Hike, so local property owners of $200,000 houses can pay $2,000 to support the greedy teachers and administrators. No wonder WLW Hate Radio’s Darryl Parks post those same greedy teachers’ and administrators’ salaries and benefits on his blog.
- Speaking of Anderson, the Anderson Tea Party has a spiffy new web site, which on Thursday morning, was only a little out-of-date, with last week’s event still shown as upcoming. Now let’s see what’s coming up at the Anderson GOP.
- Republicans for Higher Taxes discovered that Bungals Owner Mike Brown has donated $1,000 to absentee Republican State Rep-tile Peter Stautberg in his race against “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman. We wonder what it is about Stautberg that Miserly Mike finds so attractive. Republicans for Higher Taxes says if you believe in Mike Brown and his vision of higher taxes, then support his hand-picked candidate Stautberg. But if you support lower taxes and limited government, then Brinkman is your better choice.
- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about the new Whistleblower Web Site. “It’s much more organized with lots of room to add new features,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception and our new columnist writing about “The Return to Patronage County” even have their own pages. But the best part is, unlike The Fishwrap, it’s not all cluttered up with annoying advertising!
Bluegrass Blizzards
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says news that Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow meant there would be six more weeks of winter, as temperatures in Northern Kentucky were in the 40s, and people with convertibles were driving with their tops down.
Governor Steve Be-Sheared hoped to cash in on six more casinos in Kentucky.
Candidates running for Goof Doofus’ seat in Congress would have more than six weeks to campaign before the May 22 primaries.
Our Good Friend Kenton Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders says it means he’ll probably be spending the next six weeks rounding up prisoners who’ll be let out early as part of Kentucky’s ill-fated mandatory re-entry supervision program.
Eric ‘Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator’ Deters, wondered if he wouldn’t have six more weeks to wait to hear about his suspension.
Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich still enjoyed six more helpings of Groundhog Stew when they got together Wednesday with the CamBoozler for their annual Weight Gainers Groundhog Brunch at Beaver’s.
Terry “the Smilin Jailer” Carl still planned to serve his guests baloney sandwiches for six more weeks.
Bill “Liquid” Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith still ordered six more drinks.
Mainstrasse Bars were still counting down six more weeks for people to get drunk on Saint Patrick’s Day.
And our Good Friend Bobby Leach said, there were still a little more than six more weeks to wait for BB&BJ Day.
Stories We’re Working On
- Obama planning to release Taliban leaders
- Michelle cites remarkable progress on the economy
- Holder: I Knew Nothing About “Fast and Furious”
- Gingrich to challenge Florida primary results
- Alex T. calls Disgruntled DemocRAT Traci Hunter “un-American”
- Last-minute Super Bowl Hype
- “Crazy Eric” and $tan Che$ley still not disbarred
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said Conservatives would be celebrating Ronald Reagan’s 101st birthday this weekend:
(A) Reading Ronald Reagan’s quotes: 2%
(B) Watching Ronald Reagan’s movies: 1%
(C) Following Ronald Reagan’s Principles: 3%
(D) Calling everybody “Gipper”: 94%
And We Now Have Less Than a Year to Go
This week, everybody who says Obama is on track to have the most spectacularly failed presidency in history, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Freddie Factchecker, who noticed that in Obama’s Final State of Dis-Union Speech, he referred to himself repeatedly, and alleged that he was the anointed spokesman for “we,” the American people, more than 10,000 times.
Freddie wins a DVD of all of Obama’s Greatest Speeches, a leftover from that Beer Summit thing, and a guest appearance on the Chris Matthews show so he could feel the tingle running up his leg. His winning limerick is:
At the end of Obama’s third year
The country is gripped by fear.
We our RINO oust the Messiah?
And I don’t mean to be a bourgeois Jeremiah,
But it appears we are falling on our own spear.
And from the Anderson Laureate we have another Obama-basher:
At the end of Obama’s third year
Disaster looms frighteningly near
Let’s pray that arrogant worm
Doesn’t win another term
The GOP needs to get its asses in gear.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“If you forget St. Valentine’s Day”
JUST SAY NO TO CIVILITY HOT LINE
e-mail your uncivil salutations today.
