WHISTLEGRAM: “Dumbed-Down Voters Day Update”

TODAY IS
SATURDAY, MARCH 27, 2021
TRUMP’S SIXTY-SIXTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND TODAY WE’RE SEEING MORE STUFF THEY DON’T TEACH YOU IN A WOKE HIGH SCHOOL CIVICS CLASS

Today We’re Trying To Understand The Agenda

This afternoon at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about help for all those Abutted Anderson Over-taxed Payers on Burney, Sunray, and Wilshire who believe April Fool Day should be “Dumbed-Down Voters Day” especially after they received notice of a “Virtual April Fool’s Day Hearing” to rubber-stamp approval to cut down all those trees for 17 outrageously expensive houses shoehorned onto 4.7 Acres everybody knows has been owned by family members of the Forest Hills School Board.

“Those over-taxed property owners are obviously at a disadvantage,” Kane explained. “The process is totally rigged against them, as they remain uninformed about such things as zoning regulations, along with lacking a leader and being disorganized.” No wonder our Disingenuous D-RAT County Auditor is smiling, because the proposed development will surely increase the Auditor’s “values” of the already overtaxed property for the neighbors of the proposed Heist Property development, at least for additional “taxation purposes.”

Yesterday, The Blower said neighboring overtaxed payers needed to do three things. (1) Attend the meeting, (2) Have real objections to the development that other neighbors might share, and (3) Come up with some really good questions for the Zoning Board and Developer, the answers to which could provide real objections to the development.

The response was overwhelming and all-day The Blower’s been reviewing neighbors’ reactions. That’s why tonight we have our Top Ten List of Questions for neighbors of the Heist Property at 5763 Salem Road to ask the Zoning Board and Developer of the at the Virtual Hearing on April Fool’s Day.

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10. What exactly can we expect to happen to our Property Values, and the increased taxes we will be forced to pay because of the development on the Heist Property?

9. What’s going to happen to all that beautiful Green Space, for which Anderson Township is so well known.

8. Why’d the Developer wait so long to let owners of neighboring property know what the hell was really going on? And why were only neighbors within 200 feet of the Heist Property Development notified?

7. What plans have been made to relocate all those cute little furry creatures currently making their home within the confines of the wooded Heist property?

6. How much additional noise and traffic will neighbors of the Heist Property Development be expected to endure?

5. If skeletal remains are unearthed in the Indian Burial Ground on the Heist Property during construction, will they have to be referred to as Velociraptors?

4. Will residents in the development only be permitted to mow their lawns during the hours agreed to by the members of the long-established “Burney, Wilshire, and Sunray Homeowners Association?”

3. What will be the restriction for political signage within Heist Development?

2. Will ownership of Heist Property Development be as Diverse as the neighboring property?

…and the Number One Question for neighbors to ask the Zoning Board and Developer at the Virtual Hearing on April Fool’s Day is…could the owners of the Heist Property at 5763 Salem Road be in any way be related to any of the Woke Members of the Heist Family on the Scandal-Plagued Forest Hills School Board?