Special “Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest” E-dition

FRIDAY, JULY 24, 2020
Trump’s 1281st Day In Office

FRIDAY, JUNE 26, 2020
Trump’s 1253rd Day In Office

Taxed to the Max


 This week, everybody who can’t understand why his property taxes are still so high during the 2020 Election Year Kung Flu Pandemic when schools have been shut down, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.


            The winner is noted anti-taxer Norquist Tadwell, who says, “I wouldn’t mind paying these jacked-up taxes, if only they were educating the kids with the money, instead of wasting all that cash to divert attention from serious problems on meaningless Political Correctness meetings about changing the name of Our BELOVED REDSKINS MASCOT.”

            Norquist wins an autographed photo of the County Auditor with Egg All Over His Face, an Official Whistleblower Jacked-up Property Values Complaint Form, free tickets to a seminar to learn how to be successful challenging the Auditor’s phony baloney value for his property, a “No More Drive-By Appraisals” sign for his yard, and tips from Bill “The Ethnic Cleanser” Seitz on how he got his old pal the Disingenuous D-RAT Hamilton County Auditor (who was permitted to run unopposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street for the past 30 year ) to give him an historic tax reduction. His winning entry is:

          When you pay your real estate taxes,
          Don’t ask where your money goes if you want factses,
          Just watch for Castellini and Mike Brown,
          First in line at the Courthouse downtown
          Making huge profits off of our backses.

         And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “I hope I get a decent present this year, or at least have my poetic license reinstated.”)

           When you pay your real estate taxes
          Can you see how the auditor relaxes?
          He don’t have to work,
          The greedy old jerk,
          He just robs us, and them’s what the facts is.

          And if he feels like hiking them higher
          You might start looking for a home buyer
          You can beg him for cuts
          But he’s got you by the nuts
          And your situation is nothing but dire.

          If your taxes go up more and more
          Eventually you’re gonna end up poor
          If you have no more money
          It really won’t be funny
          When you get a foreclosure notice on your door.

          But that won’t bother ol’ Dusty a bit
          If you’re broke, he won’t give a shit.
          He’ll just sit back and grin
          And raise taxes again
          And I don’t think that he’ll ever quit.

          So maybe the answer is to rent
          And let your landlord lament
          You won’t own a house
          And you’ll be poor as a church mouse
          You might end up under a bridge in a tent.

Tomas de Torquemada says
To honor your dad on this Father’s Day,
Forget the tie and the hankie, OK?

Did he serve his country in time of war?
Did he give you a home that was top drawer?

Did he work the late shift so you could eat?
All his sacrifices were no mean feat.

If your dad is still among the living,
Give him the gift that just keeps on giving:

Your deep gratitude and humility;
Your care in his golden senility.

If your dad has left this vale of tears,
Pray that he still lives among his peers.

Father and son: a link never broken.
Make sure it doesn’t remain unspoken.

Our Angry Andersonian Says
When you pay your real estate taxes,
Will the bill stop you in your trackses?

Maybe you’ll regret voting for Woke:
That agenda of mirrors and smoke.

Kiss your Redskins and greenbacks bye-bye:
With PC hucksters you must comply.

The cancel culture has come to town –
Why are you letting them shake you down?

You like having our traditions trashed,
And our heroes’ statues being smashed?

Karl Marx said “Eradicate their past,
It pervades the capitalist caste.”

The Commies have only the present
And there’s no tolerance for dissent.

Forest Gump Schools has taken a knee:
That knee’s on your neck, I hope you’ll see.

Will you defer until you can’t breathe
Before your anger begins to seethe?

Finally Here’s Perturbed in Park Hill’s Over-stuffed Sonnet
When you pay your real estate taxes
Try to avoid eating Ex-Laxes.

Your bowels will be in an uproar
As the size of your bill you deplore.

You’ll feel just like Ben Dover and Phil
While you swallow that bitter tax pill.

But if you want to pay in person
And don’t want the rip-off to worsen,

Don’t forget social distance and mask
So the Sheriff won’t take you to task.

Will the Auditor’s egg on his face
Allow his face mask to stay in place?

Or will that sunny-side-up yellow
Create major PPE Jell-O?

Naught is surer than taxes and death:
(The bureaucrats’ fav’rite shibboleth),

If this is “guv’ment by the people,”
Then we must be a bunch of sheeple.

            The first line of next Friday’s limerick is:
         “Obama still says it’s good to be gay

 image006Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially, Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering, who says failure to receive a tax bill will not avoid such penalty and/or interest if you’re late mailing your Real Estate Taxes.image003 image008