MONDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2017
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On CHRISTMAS DAY in 1868 President Andrew Johnson issued a complete, unconditional pardon to all Confederate soldiers.
THAT’S WHY OUR OBAMA LEGACY COMMITTEE CHOSE this quote by the “Tennessee Tailor”: “If blacks were given the right to vote, that would place every splay-footed, bandy-shanked, hump-backed, thick-lipped, flat-nosed, woolly-headed, ebon-colored in the country upon an equality with the poor white man.”
The Blower wonders why all those Andrew Johnson statues in Tennessee weren’t removed earlier this year when all those other racist statues were taken down.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Americans continue to rank Christmas as the nation’s top holiday, and most will attend a religious service to honor the holiday season. A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone and online survey finds that 59% of American Adults consider Christmas one of the nation’s most important holidays, while only six percent (6%) believe it’s one of the least important.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKE WATCHER says our Trump-Bashing Late Night Comedians must be off for the holidays these days, although JIMMY FALLON’s worst effort last Wednesday was: President Trump had a very good day. He’s very proud – Republicans finally passed his tax bill which means Trump’s about to sign his first major piece of legislation. Yep, his chest was puffed out so far his tie was actually at a normal length. “Wow! It’s actually at my waist!”
AND SETH MEYERS said: President Trump today congratulated Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell for passing the Republican tax plan tweeting quote, “I could have not asked for a better or more talented partner.” McConnell was so touched, his neck pouch blushed.
Neither program was worth watching!
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today we have the “A Visit From St. Nick” from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, found in “Erotic Christmas Poems,” available at better sticky pages bookstores everywhere.
Ode to the New Year
Oh, the New Year’s a’comin’,
It don’t look so hot.
Yes, the New Year’s a’comin’.
Unfortunately I’m not.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Bobby Blevins Story.”
LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “JOB SECURITY,” we learned why elected officials need not worry. Their jobs are safe, as long as the public is lazy enough to need announcers to watch a football game. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on December 24, 1980.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County’s cabal of sheltered fat-ass lazy millionaire dilettante trustees held a surprise meeting on Wednesday. Over a hundred members of the public showed up to express their displeasure with the out of touch trustees. A Trustee, who is unofficially involved with 3CDC, the private corporation which wants to take over the ownership of the downtown north library, read a resolution wherein he mumbled the trustees would not be selling the north building this month. He also said the arrogant trustees would not answer or speak whatsoever with the assembled public. So the citizen protesters won! They showed the fat ass trustees what the public can do.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 10: Quote G. Gordon Liddy: “A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellowman, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.”
GOING GALT: The phrase ‘Going Galt’ doesn’t simply mean getting angry. Going Galt’ means asking in the face of new taxes and government controls, “Why work at all?” “For whom am I working?” “Am I a slave?”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says this week: The House passed comprehensive tax reform legislation (see below) and then approved an extension of government funding through January 19 (see below). The Senate passed those same two measures.
Next Week: Both the House and Senate will be in recess until sometime in January.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Free coffee for the holidays? Starbucks is making it so, but the Seattle-based company is making you work for it online. Starbucks’ “Pop-Up Cheer Parties” are a movable feast, taking place every day (except Christmas) from now through Jan. 2, from 1 to 2 p.m. The catch is that the parties are scheduled in only 100 locations across the country each day, and you have to check the StarbucksCheer.com website to find out where they’re happening. What a BFD that is!
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their local “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what kept why he was so late arriving at the meeting. “This is one of the busiest times of the year at The Blower,” Kane explained. “We have to come up with the Top Ten Whistleblower Predictions that came true, and this year there were so many to choose from.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially all those folks who attended last year’s Whistleblower New Year’s Eve Party, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
How many of these folks could you actually name?
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
TUESDAY (DECEMBER 26) we’ll be publishing our Annual “Cinci-Kwanzaabration” E-dition, featuring a special looting and burning section for our Racial Black Lives Don’t Really Matter Activists and Left-Wing Apologists in the News Media promoting the Liberal Agenda.
WEDNESDAY (DECEMBER 27) our Real Subscribers will most likely be telling us about their phony 2018 New Year’s Resolutions they don’t intend to keep in their Real E-Mails.
THURSDAY (DECEMBER 28) would probably be a good time to tell you about all those 2017 predictions that came true.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (DECEMBER 29) LIMERICK IS: “In 2017 Our New Year’s Resolution.”
AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 30) we’ll be getting ready to sing Auld Lang Syne at our New Year’s Eve Party on Sunday night.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower CHRISTmas Video Honoring People With Too Much Time On Their Hands
Merry Christmas in Dominoes!
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today
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