TODAY IS
FRIDAY, JANUARY 24, 2020
WE’RE ENJOYING THE MOST IDIOTIC IMPEACHMENT EVER
On Trump’s 1,099th Day In Office

“In Search of Older Women”

This week, everybody who wonders why all those older women in Northern Kentucky prefer younger men, e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

           The winner was Cov Cath junior Marty MILFbanger, who says if the question was why younger guys like older women, the answer would be because they don’t yell, they don’t swell, they don’t tell, and they’re grateful as hell. Marty wins a “Jeni Lee Said I Was the Best” T-shirt; a phallic Sexual Athlete of the Year” trophy; a director’s cut DVD of “The Graduate,” where Dustin Hoffman is seduced by Mrs. Robinson; what’s going on in that Northern Kentucky scandal these days, a list of other Marvelous MILFs in Northern Kentucky who keep younger men around, and a copy of our Whistleblower’s “Hot Mom” video.

Why older women like younger guys
Should come as no great big surprise;
They’re all eager to please,
With no risk of disease,
Smile sweet, and they’ll be droppin’ their flies.

Why older women like younger guys
It really is no big surprise
They like to find
One with faces unlined
And with something good behind their flies.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked and now has something to tell the padre at this week’s confession):

Why older women like younger guys,
They need stuffing to fill their hair pies;
Deb Lafave and Jeni Lee Dinkle
Affect me where I take a tinkle
I wish they’d let me between their thighs.

Finally, Perturbed In Park Hills Says
Why older women like younger guys:
It seems studly youths are quite the prize.

They’re unconcerned about sagging boobs
Or those knotted fallopian tubes.

As long as it creates a new man,
Who cares about the flab on her can?

But robbing the cradle goes both ways:
Remember Epstein’s underage craze?

All those names on Lolita’s Express
Sure created quite the PR mess.

So if you’re looking for younger flesh
‘Cause you’ve got the urge to start afresh,

You might want to use a Nom de Plume
Before choosing the cub that you’ll groom.

The first line of next week’s Limerick Contest:
” The reason we have no civility”