MONDAY, MAY 29, 2017

We’re Now Planning Our Golden Anniversary Celebration in 2040

Tonight’s Whistleblower’s Silver Anniversary Plus Two Celebration will continue long into the night, marking 27 years since The Whistleblower’s very first edition was published on May 29, 1990, and Award Winning Illustrator Artis Conception shows us some of the people who’ve made our publication what it’s been over the last quarter century. How many of these folks can you name?

CONGRATULATIONS KEEP POURING IN: Our Sharonville Snitch said he appreciates the posting today of Whistleblower #1.  He’ll never forget the GOP fury that was unleashed when he took Sharonville Mayor John Dowlin to the Board of Elections to take out petitions to run for County Commissioner.  By the time they got back to Sharonville, Dowlin had four messages from top-level party members on his voice mail. Current Hamilton County Prosecutor (then Clerk of Courts) remembers it was years later that he earned his official “Jaywalking Joe” nickname in The Blower, because you’re nobody in The Blower until you’ve been given your Official Whistleblower Nickname.  And Marge Schott said,”Just like Hitler, The Whistleblower was good in the beginning, but they just went too far.”

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on today’s date in 1953 New Zealand beekeeper Sir Edmund Hillary reached the summit of Mt. Everest, but years later Hillary Clinton got caught lying when she claimed she’d been named for the famous mountain climber, since she was born in 1947, and at that time, nobody had ever heard of Sir Edmund, other than a few New Zealand bees.

MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Crooked Hillary’s “What difference at this point does it make?” In a related item, The Blower wonders if that Frumpy Hillary Impersonator will be on hand tonight to volunteer to help Cincinnati’s wannabe Mayor Yvette Simpson help keep kids safe at the Taste of Cincinnati, especially after a 15-year old was arrested last year on Friday night with a gun.  But wait, how about letting the kids’ parents volunteer?  That would be a novel idea. 

WHISTLEBLOWER SUMMER INTERN PROGRAM:  May 26 was the final day to email applications for the summer term which runs June 1 through August 21. Applicants must either be tri-state residents attending an accredited college or university in or outside of Ohio or Kentucky. Applicants must also have completed a full academic year by the end of the internship. Participants are expected to commit to a minimum of 20 hours per week of program-related work over the internship.

 Applicants also had to submit a 1,000-word-or-less essay on “Why it’s OK to Make Fun of Politicians.”

Applications could also be submitted for the fall term: August 25– November 14, 2015

BLUEGRASS BEREAVEMENT: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo can’t understand why there won’t be more news coverage about next week’s big Confederate Memorial Day celebration in Northern Kentucky.

Confederacy President Jefferson Davis was born on June 3, 1808 in Fairview, Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know where Fairview is, it’s near Hopkinsville, wherever in the hell that is.

Many people have never understood why so many people in Kentucky celebrate Confederate Memorial Day in the first place, since more Kentuckians fought for the Union than the CSA (100,000 to 40,000).

AND SINCE TODAY (MAY 29) IS ALSO OUR OFFICIAL MEMORIAL DAY, we have more marvelous meter from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.

             When Memorial Day has come and gone
            We can now put on our white shoes
            We’ll cook outside with barbecue
            And drink up lots of booze.

            The summer time is oh, so fine
            With beetle bugs all swarming
            Let’s hope we all don’t freeze our ass
             From Al Gore’s global warming.

FINALLY AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were all getting ready to make their day be celebrating Clint Eastwood’s 87th Birthday Wednesday on May 31 and comparing some of their favorite Clint Eastwood quotes, like “I have a very strict gun control policy: if there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it,” “A man’s got to know his limitations,” and “I tried being reasonable, I didn’t like it.”

 Also, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane recalls how amused he was last year with this Hollywood skywriter’s spacing problems when he tried to write “Happy Birthday, Clint.”

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here