FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2017
Political Poll-emics
This week, everybody who thinks all those media news polls are really bogus (especially after that recent poll showed that 84% of the people claimed they would never lie to a pollster), e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is noted push pollster Harley Barber, founder of the noted Barber Poll, who says, “Send me lots of money and I’ll tell you what you want to hear.”
Harley wins a “You Can Fool Some of the People All of the Time” T-shirt, a list of 1,001 misleading questions you can ask Victims of Trump Derangement Syndrome in All Fifty-Seven States, and a list of everybody’s cell phone numbers, so people can actually be reached while they’re watching a movie, enjoying sex, or having dinner at a restaurant. His winning entry is:
When the media takes a news poll
First they tell the pollster their goal
And all they’ll receive
Is what they already believe
So it’s just more money down a rat hole
Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka sent in:
When the media takes a news poll
Misleading the public is their goal.
Whether they copy or edit,
You know where they get it.
The same place for both: the toilet bowl.
Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T. Mall Cop GOP wrote:
When the media takes a news poll
The full truth never gets told
They tweak it on this
Massage it on that
And only publish what helps a Dem A-Hole!
Kenton County Republican Party Chairman Greg Schumate says:
When the media takes a news poll
It’s just one of the ways they control
The dumbed-down and celebrity-obsessed,
Whose brainwashed minds are so easily impressed,
That they’ll swallow just about anything, whole.
Kenton County DemocRAT Party Hillary Suck-up Nathan “Cornbread” Smith authored:
When the media takes a news poll,
To see which candidate’s in the hole.
You know they’re still cheering for Obama
So ask your daddy and momma
Should you flush the results down the toilet bowl?
And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (It’s not terribly mean-spirited this time, but then, he’s a Republican):
When the media takes a news poll
The DumbocRATs will be on a roll
The truth doesn’t matter
The libs keep up the chatter
Lying for the D-RATS is always their goal.
