MONDAY, APRIL 3, 2017
Earlier today in our “Opening Day Editorial” (Actually Written By Our Publisher), The Blower ridiculed people who embarrass themselves on the athletic field to show that a lack of manliness is not acceptable in our society, which should be clear to anybody who throws like a girl. Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda reminisced about The Blower’s coverage of Mallory on the Mound, which we published on April 4, 2007:
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Mallory on the Mound
It’s really a bitch to be right all the time, but from the moment we heard that Dainty DemoCRAT Cincinnati Mayor Mark “Throws Like a Girl” Mallory had been “chosen” to throw out the first pitch on Opening Day, The Whistleblower told you he was going to “blow it.” Maybe we put so much pressure on our sissy mayor, he just couldn’t perform. Mallory is shown throwing a hissy fit over his wild pitch in Jeff Swinger’s photo in the Fishwrap.
It was the worst first pitch in Opening Day history. Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says not only does our Girly Man Mayor throw like a girl, but his ceremonial first pitch was so wild, even Reds Hall of Famer Eric Davis couldn’t come close to getting a glove on it. The ball bounced pathetically towards the Reds on-deck circle and didn’t come anywhere close to home plate. The girly Mayor looked as though he wanted to take another shot, but the Reds staff quickly ushered him off the field before he could embarrass himself any further.
Political Insiders At The Conservative Agenda Also Remembered Obama’s “Girlie Pitch”
And Obama’s Not Even Being Able To Throw Like A Girl.
Meanwhile, Trump Didn’t Throw Out The First Pitch In Washington Today, But It Wasn’t Because He Couldn’t.
Now It Looks Like We’ll Have To Wait Till Next Year To Make Ceremonial First Pitches Great Again
Now For Some Marvelous Military Macho
The Blower’s DC Newsbreaker has some exclusive photos from Fort Myer, Virginia this afternoon when New Richmond’s Kevin Long was promoted to Sergeant in a ceremony officiated by Ohio Second District Podiatrist/ Colonel/ Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup. (Read More Here).
Hooah, Kevin!
Tonight’s Ben Garrison Feature
I worked at newspapers for nearly 20 years before starting my own commercial art business. I knew all too well that most of my coworkers were ‘liberal.’ They were proud of it and to their credit, many were very professional and their reporting remained objective. The few conservatives there were forced into quiescence in order to remain on friendly terms with reporters and editors as well as escape outright harassment and ridicule…… Read more at the Cartoon Blog.
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s First 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number Seventy-Three. There Are 27 More To Go. 