THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2016  
 And We Really, Really Mean It

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1791 the Bill of Rights was finally ratified, and instantly afterwards, Liberals began referring to it as a “living, breathing document,” implying that its text is designed to be flexible, which we all know, it is not.  Hurley also says this week was the 380th Birthday of the National Guard, tracing its roots back to the village green in Salem, Massachusetts on December 13, 1636. And just like everybody else in the news media, The Blower missed that important historical anniversary on Tuesday too.

NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Thomas Jefferson’s “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

TWENTY-SIX YEARS AGO THIS WEEK: Edition #30 of the Original Whistleblower, was published on December 18, 1990 (back in the really low tech days when The Blower used to be printed and delivered all over town). That week’s “Really Big Story” featured then-Hamilton County Clerk of Courts Joe Deters’ “Yes, Virginia, there is corruption at the courthouse.” The Top Ten List was then-Commissioner Steve Chabot’s ways to cut the county budget. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane wrote about “Anti-Semitism on Fountain Square.”  WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham was defending Joe Deters. Jeff Ruby was organizing a Celebrity Welcome Home From Prison Party for Pete Rose on January 7, 1991.  Alan Falfa was first featured as a “Seediest Kid of All.” And we published “21 Ways to be Offensive at a Christmas Party.” [YOU CAN READ THAT ENTIRE EDITION HERE]

MORE PARTY PLANNING: For those who are planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen attending “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas Party at Jack Casino, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, let’s all sing the seventh verse of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by producers at “Saturday Night Live,” whose hilarious news parody made Ohio’s Second District Congresswoman a laughingstock all across this great nation when Rachel Dratch played “Mean Jean.” It goes something like this:

            On the Seventh Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
            Seven Wits a Wagging,
            Six Crooked Cronies,
            Five Libelous Liars,
            Four Screeching Tires,
            Three Borgman Cartoons,
            Two Red Dresses,
            And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

            Kind of warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it, Portman!

AND IS THIS A JOKE? When you click on Her Meanness’ link above, it takes you to what you think is her web site (http://www.jeanschmidt.com/)

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and The Blower Christmas Dancers will also be at “Mean Jean’s” Party, showing you why they’re favorites at holiday parties all over the tri-state.

MEANWHILE IN ANDERSON, Andy Pappas says it’s hard to believe it’s been an entire year since “In Russ We Trust” Jackson presided at his final Anderson Township Trustees Meeting, and there 

OBAMA ORNAMENTS: And what better way for Obama’s female followers to demonstrate their fanatical fervor than to purchase another Obama Christmas ornament. That’s why this limited edition “Obama Orgasm” ornament for only $19.95 is so spiritually uplifting, as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to promise “36 More Days of Christmas” during Obama’s second term, with proceeds benefitting Obama’s Legal Defense Fund. 

STILL IN A HOLIDAY MOOD, Adams County Historian Scott Seaman says “I love Christmas Lights, but they remind me of politicians! They all hang together, half the suckers don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t that bright.” Still, the Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located in East Jesus says those Amazing Amish Christmas Lights in the Wheat Ridge Community are really spectacular this year. If only Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s office had given directions for the opening ceremonies two weeks ago, all those people wouldn’t still be driving around every night looking for the lights

These days, folks in Wenstrup’s office have been busy after some liberal made a donation to Planned Parenthood in the name of Bronzestar Brad.

He (or his minions) went nuts and issued 4 tweets – and even numbered them.  This would never have surfaced……..BUT…they had to cry and whine to the world about it on twitter:

Of course no one would want anyone to find out that old in the rear with the gear might have actually voted to fund some Planned Parenthood mischief while serving on the Cincinnati board of health and wasn’t paying attention.

BACK IN THE INNER CITY, Kwanzaa Klaus says, “Please tell all the yoofs and racial racketeering protesters there be only eleven mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa!”

AND THIS YEAR, HANUKKAH HARRY SAYS JEWS WILL BE CONFUSED, especially when the First Night of Hanukkah arrives on Christmas Eve.

IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Ken CamBoo reports next Wednesday is the Winter Solstice, and Dave the Druid says “That’s why we like to call our holiday the Wiccan Sabbat of Yule. How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: They don’t screw I a light bulb. They screw in stone circles.

December 21 is also World Fake Orgasm for Peace Day, and Miss Vicki says people keep asking her if her Big “O” Party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club is “for real,” since they’re not 100% certain World Orgasm for Peace Day, being celebrated on the eve of the Winter Solstice is a real event. When in doubt, Google it!

 FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about The Blower’s “Fake News” Edition earlier today, where the CIA Confirmed the Russian Government Killed Harambe at the Cincinnati Zoo. “Are you kidding?” Kane asked. “The Blower has been making ‘Fake News’ fun hereabouts for the past 26 years, especially for everybody at the Hamilton County Courthouse.”

THIS YEAR, THE COST OF A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE is $209.99. This gift’s price decline from last year is fully due to the Partridge which fell 20% from $25 to $20, due to oversupply of game birds. The Pear Tree will set you back $189.99 – the same as last year.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Kasich for America Campaign, hoping for a big at Monday’s Electoral College vote.

CHRISTMAS WISH LIST HOT LINE
e-mail your heartfelt desires today.

Whistleblower Heartwarming Video of the Day
Evil Santa Claus

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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