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MONDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2019
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More Real Rhymes  

For the past eleven years, the Real E-Mails in Tuesday e-ditions of The Whistleblower-Newswire that fell between Christmas and New Year’s had always been made up of phrases that rhymed with that particular year.

The first year, The Blower had more “conflicts” in 2006, and some of the Real E-Mails included:

Those voters hit us with bricks in 2006. —BuckWheat Blackwell, Mike DeWhine, Schnozzy Heimlick, Little Lord John Joseph Cranley IV, and Safari Ken Lucas

We watched lots of porn flicks in 2006. — Phil Burr-ass and Si Leis

Higher property values I tried to fix in 2006. —Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT County Auditor

I made some really bad picks in 2006. —Temporary Hamilton County GOP Party Boss George Vincent

DUIs and successful campaigns didn’t mix in 2006. —Danny Zalla and Marcus Carey

You forgot to call us dicks in 2006. —Dick Muratroyd and Dick Roeding

And…We faked our amorous acrobatics in 2006. —Fort Mitchell MILFs

In 2007, our Second Annual Rhyme Time was not so sublime, because we could only find five words and phrases that rhymed with “Seven,” and our Real E-Mailers’ submissions all rhymed with the upcoming year:

We’ll swallow the bait in 2008. —Dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed politically correct voters

We’ll have a Blue Buckeye State in 2008. —Determined DemocRATS in Ohio

Will we still make you irate in 2008? —Devious DemocRAT Hamilton County Commissioners Odd Todd Opportune and David A. Pepper

Over-taxed payers will still pay the freight in 2008. —The Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Freedom Center

My last name I’ll still hyphenate, every day till I’m elected in 2008. —Alecia Webb-Edgington

No plea deals will I adjudicate next year in 2008. —Judge Roy Bean Bartlett

And…I’ll turn boys into men on the very first date, that’s if I’m still free in 2008. —Jeni Lee Dinkel

In 2008, our Rancid Rhymes included:

We deserved our harsh fate in 2008. —Republicans in Name Only

We’ll have to keep up the birth rate in 2008. —Welfare Mamas

We’d still procreate in 2008. —Illegal Immigrants

More Section 8 in 2008. —Cincinnati Metropolitan Housing Authority

For the Banks you know you’ll still have to wait, so we kept building ours in 2008 —Northern Kentucky Developers

What happened to our clean slate in 2008? —Bluegrass Politicians

More felons we’d incarcerate this year in 2008. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders

In 2009, our Rhymes again were sublime, when they added rhymes for the word “Nine”:

We got our Blue Buckeye State in 2008, but we withered on the vine, in 2009. —Gayvenor Strickland and all those Dysfunctional DemocRATS in Columbus

Voters swallowed the bait in 2008, but I ran into a Tea Party Mine, in 2009. —Ohio’s First District Dumpy DemocRAT Congressman Steve Drinkhaus

We deserved our harsh fate in 2008, and we never found our spine, in 2009. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

Flim-flamming was great in 2008, but I refused to resign, in 2009. —Whacky Jacky O’Brien’s Illegitimate Son Kevin, the banned broker just elected under false pretenses

Across the river we’d proliferate in 2008, and we did just fine, in 2009. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

We didn’t lose any weight in 2008, and we’re at the head of the chow line, in 2009. —Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich

Drinking beer we couldn’t abate in 2008, so we switched over to wine, in 2009. —Bill Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith

In 2010, we were at it again:

We watched Obama’s popularity decline, in 2009; and it dropped once again, in 2010. —Obama Supporters in the Press

The TEA Party was mine in 2009; but I got pillaged again in 2010. —The TEA Party Messiah who’s still hoping to rise from the dead

My Bungals could cross the goal line in 2009; but they folded once again in 2010. —“Millionaire Mike” Brown 

Nothing fell in line, in 2009; and I embarrassed myself again in 2010. —That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt

The Blower said I’d be first to cross the finish line back in 2009; and I proved them right once again in 2010. —Senator-elect Rand Paul

My frivolous lawsuits were by design, in 2009; and I got sanctioned again in 2010.  — Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters

Kane delivered many a great gag line, in 2009; and even played the drums now and then during 2010.  —Flashlight Theatre

That brought us to 2011. We couldn’t find many words that rhymed with “Eleven?” There weren’t many like “Seven.” If you found any, it would’ve been like “Manna from Heaven” but only if your name was Kevin. Maybe we should’ve just tried it with the word “Year.” 

So we sent out a message to all of our Real E-Mailers, telling them your mission, should you choose to accept it, would be to be to submit this year’s sublime rhyme that ends with the word “year,” something like “We had reason to cheer, at the beginning of this year,” “My critics did jeer, at the end of this year,” or “Your reputation we’d smear, all through this year.”

2012 was a better year for our rancid rhymes, but only after we figured out a way to find a way to make words rhyme with “Twelve.”

Voters said my time wasn’t through in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Obama

Because more free stuff was due in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Dumbed-down, Self-absorbed, Media-influenced, Celebrity-obsessed, Politically-correct, Uninformed, Short-attention-span Obama Supporters

Our Liberal Bias only grew in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Obama Supporters in the Press

Over the Fiscal Cliff we flew in the Year 2-0-1-2. —GOP House Speaker John Boehner

Once again, Ohio turned “Blue” in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Governor Kasich and the So-Called Ohio Republican Party

Our dreams of four year terms finally did come true in the Year 2-0-1-2. —Mark Mallory’s Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil

And the next year we found a way to make words rhyme with “2013.”

With all my scandals I never came clean in the Year 2013. —Obama

Caving in to Dishonest DemocRATS became routine in the Year 2013. —GOP House Speaker John Boehner

Our campaign lies were barely unseen in the Year 2013. —Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann, along with Clowncil-men Kevin Flynn Flam and P.G. Sitt-n-Spin

My political career went in the latrine in the Year 2013. —Disgraced DemocRAT State Senator Eric Kearney

Was the Kentucky Bar Association just being mean in the Year 2013? —“Crazy Eric” Deters

We had to get mean in 2013. —Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney’s Former Law Partners, who can hardly wait to take his name off both buildings first thing tomorrow and have been hiding it under a Christmas Wreath at the Hyde Park office during the meantime

Nothing worked last year, because we’d not completely gotten over that that 2014 Christmas Eve Hack Attack that totally destroyed our custom-designed Whistleblower Newswire Web Site.

       But our Rhyme-meisters were back in business in 2015, as you can surely see.

No impeachment was seen in 2015. —Obama

DemocRATS elected me their queen in 2015. —Hillary

Bimbo Eruptions returned to the scene in 2015. —Slick Willie  

Everyone I could demean in 2015. —Donald Trump

Supporters were few and far between in 2015. —John Kasich

My legacy was still in the latrine in 2015. —Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman

My failures became somewhat routine in 2015. —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRat Mayor Cranley

Bluegrass D-RATS clocks I did clean in 2015. —Republican Governor Matt Bevin

Inside Kentucky I was totally unseen in 2015. —$tan Che$ley

I used a smoke screen in 2015. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

And Diversity was still our main meme in 2015. —Feckless Fishwrappers

Which Brings Us To 2016, With A Mere 941 Words That Rhyme.

My Legacy Clock voters did clean in November 2016. —Obama

Winning became nearly routine in 2016. —Donald Trump

The DOJ said my record was clean in 2016. —Hillary

Kids hated my cuisine in 2016. —Michelle

All my old bimbos made a real scene in 2016. —Slick Willie 

My embarrassment was supreme in 2016. —John Kasich

Conservative support was still unseen in 2016. —Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman

My Blackwell payoff needed a screen in 2016. —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor Cranley

At least people continued to dry clean in 2016. —Andrew Pappas

My new business venture was unforeseen in 2016. —Mean Jean 

Bluegrass D-RATS clocks I continued to clean in 2016. —Republican Governor Matt Bevan

Inside Kentucky I was still totally unseen in 2016. —$tan Che$ley

Claiming to be Trump’s NoKY Spokesman was keen in 2016. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

Our Liberal Bias was really Obscene in 2016. —Feckless Fishwrappers

Which Brings Us To 2017, with only five words and phrases that rhyme with “Seven” (like in 2007 and 2011). Maybe that’s why our Garrulous Grammarian suggested we try rhyming with “Teen,” since there only 1,067 of those words:

Trump really picked my Legacy clean in 2017. —Obama

FAKE NEWS CNN I did demean in 2017. —The Trumpster

They said I didn’t have to say what I’d mean in 2017. —Crooked Hillar

School kids could once again enjoy their new cuisine in 2017. —Michelle 

Talking about my bimbos became routine in 2017. —Slick Willie

My mad ravings were often seen is 2017. —Delusional GOP Governor John Kasich

I wanted to see how The Blower would work in the word “Queen” in 2017. —Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman

My re-election cost a whole lot of green in 2017. —Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley

Social Media claimed I was obscene in 2017. —Anderson Trustee Andrew Pappas

My return to politics was yet unseen in 2017. —Mean Jean Schmiidt

I ordered $158 million less to be spent from the over-taxed payers’ cash machine in 2017. —KY Governor Matt Bevin

$162,000 in Sanctions, but no lien in 2017. —$tan Chesley

As a “non-attorney spokesman” I would preen on screen in 2017. —Eric Call Me Crazy Deters

Our Liberal Bias reigned supreme in 2017.  —Feckless Fishwrappers

Then, at the end of 2018, instead of “Teen,” The Blower’s Rhyme Scheme would be “2-0-1-8”

I could no longer dictate in 2-0-1-8. —Obama

We were still consumed with hate in 2-0-1-8. —Leftists

Fake News I would humiliate all during in 2-0-1-8. —The Trumpster

Our campaigns were really lightweight in 2-0-1-8. —RINOs in Congresss

Obama’s FBI would cover up my filegate in 2-0-1-8. —Crooked Hillary

All year it got harder to get a date in in 2-0-1-8. —Slick Willie

Melania’s wardrobe I would gladly berate all during in 2-0-1-8. —Michelle

CNN’s Acosta I did often castrate in 2-0-1-8. —Sarah Huckabee Sanders

On my 2020 presidential campaign I did fixate in 2-0-1-8. —Delusional GOP Governor John Kasich

There was little need to litigate  in 2-0-1-8. —Whistleblower legal dream team

The Reds and Bengals showed us the gate in 2-0-1-8. —Bryan Price and Starvin’ Marvin

To Tijuana we’d mass migrate in in 2-0-1-8. —Illegal Immigrants

We made sure the government could not operate late in 2-0-1-8. —Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer

We embarrassed the fourth estate every day in 2-0-1-8. —Feckless Fishwrappers

What happened to our clean slate in 2-0-1-8? —Bluegrass Politicians

Our careers Voters did obliterate in 2-0-1-8. —Hamilton County Republican Candidates

My supporters were waiting to donate in 2-0-1-8. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt, Returning To Politics

Forest Hills School Board Members we would berate all during in 2-0-1-8. —Anderson Redskins Supporters

It was hard to stay straight in 2-0-1-8. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis

I uncovered more scandals to narrate in in 2-0-1-8. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel

My former law firm had to pay the freight in in 2-0-1-8. —$tan Chesley

As a “non-attorney spokesman” I could still relate in in 2-0-1-8. —Eric Call Me Crazy Deters

Last year’s Rhymes we would update in in 2-0-1-8. —Whistleblower Interns

And Mercifully, at the end of 2019, instead of “Teen,” The Blower’s Rhyme Scheme was “2-0-1-9,” with a mere 912 rhyming words and phrases

My legacy was no longer something to  enshrine in 2-0-1-9. —Obama

Our false narratives would become benign in 2-0-1-9. —Media Leftists

To the border D-RATS to us to bee-line in 2-0-1-9. —Illegal Immigrants

Trolling D-RATS became sublime in 2-0-1-9. —The Trumpster

My performance at Presidential Press Conferences was really asinine in 2-0-1-9. —FAKE NEWS CNN’s Jim Acosta

It was hard to keep a straight face with Mark Steyn in 2-0-1-9. —Tucker Carlson

Our votes were more in line in 2-0-1-9. —RINOs in Congress

Obama’s FBI would cross the line in 2-0-1-9. —Trump’s AG Bill Barr

Not all Loser 2020 D-RAT Candidates would resign in 2-0-1-9.

Not being indicted suited me just fine in 2-0-1-9. —Crooked Hillary

The Lolita Express was my favorite airline in 2-0-1-9. —Slick Willie

Offers to run I would decline in 2-0-1-9. —Michelle

My 2020 presidential campaign became a real punch line in 2-0-1-9. —Delusional GOP Governor John Kasich

Instead of an endorsement, Clermont Cronies gave me a hard time in 2-0-1-9. —”Mean Jean” Schmidt

In Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Robert Ruehlman’s Court we did shine in 2-0-1-9. —Whistleblower Legal Dream Team

Nothing we wrote deserved a byline in 2-0-1-9. —Feckless Fishwrappers

The Reds and Bengals did not outshine in 2-0-1-9. —Whistleblower Senior Sports Editor Andy Furball

My scandals were all on-line 2-0-1-9. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel

Our new state drink was moonshine and wine in 2-0-1-9? —Bluegrass Politicians

We couldn’t cross the finish line in 2-0-1-9. —Hamilton County Republican Candidates

After dumbed-down voters fell for this year’s Tax Hike Scam, we headed for the county line in 2-0-1-9. —Forest Hills Property Owners

We found new ways to intertwine in 2-0-1-9. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis

The Bluegrass Bar Association bought my “non-attorney spokesman” line in 2-0-1-9. —Eric Call Me Crazy Deters

The Ohio Bar would disincline mine in 2-0-1-9. —$tan Chesley

Last year’s Rhymes we would refine in 2-0-1-9. —Whistleblower Interns

Meanwhile, “Jaywalking Joe” Deters already gave us a word to rhyme for his next year’s opponent’s name in 2-0-1-9.

Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us Alfred E. Kasich.

 — Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—      

         Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Rhyme Timers to show that overusing rhetorical flourishes will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t afflicted with Obsessive-compulsive Rhyming Disorder.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Whistleblower Limerick Contestants.

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