TODAY IS
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2019
Trump’s 1,014th Day In Office
Our Long National Nightmare Continues
Speaking of Halloween Harangues, at least this we won’t have Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced DemocRAT, Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Finally-Totally-Disbarred-And-Now-Awaiting Arrest Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley, Feckless Fishwrap Publisher “Skaggie Maggie” Buchanan, and Draft-Dodging WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham once again involving themselves in Republican politics right before an election. We remember seven years ago when our terrible troika did their best to destroy the Republican Party in Clermont County, not that those crooks and cronies seem to need any help these days.
Hurley the Historian remembers all those national stories saying the 2012 Presidential Election would be won or lost in Hamilton County, Ohio. No wonder TEA Party Patriots had so much to worry about with the Hamilton County RINO Party still Wandering in the Wilderness ever since Alex T. Mall Cop GOP painted the town “Blue” on Election Night in 2008.
The media’s spinfluence: It used to be only The New York Times and TV networks employed bogus polls to promote their agendas. Now every local media outlet is doing it too. As for newspapers, as if their daily unfair-and-biased reporting weren’t enough, their pre-election political endorsements instruct their ill-informed readers which candidate to choose. Rarely do they endorse a person just because of his race, because the only color those media weasels care about is green. And on tax increases, people who control newspaper editorial boards don’t even have to live in areas those humongous tax increases would affect, so it’s not costing them anything to tell you to piss away more of your hard-earned money down another liberal rat hole.
While Halloween costumes have become more frightening, nothing is quite as scary as the increasingly bitter rhetoric of all those trying to stay in office. Enjoy it. It’s the sound and fury of liberalism crumbling. According to the Dissociated Press, racial attitudes got a lot worse during the eight years after the United States elected its first black president, and these days, if you would ever criticize a Black person for any reason, The Radical Liberal Establishment will call you a “Racist.”
The quality of political candidates reflects our culture. Despite all the talk about “change,” up until now, the public really hasn’t wanted anything done— except to somebody else. Politicians were still selling crap because you were still buying it. But we just might be beginning to see the start of something big. In 2016 we saw the Angry People versus the Stupid People and the Greedy People, along with their willing accomplices in the Liberal Media Conspiracy.
But right now when you ask which is worse about this year’s elections— voters’ ignorance or apathy, and people tell you they don’t know and they don’t care.
People often say they’re voting for the lesser of two evils. The problem is, they’re still voting for “evil.” Maybe this year, Voters should just understand the best way to lower their taxes would be just to “Vote No” on everything!
Meanwhile this year, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says everybody in Ohio will be trying to identify all of the players in the Whistleblower Video Repertory Group’s Halloween Video.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says everybody has been getting ready for Halloween in Northern Kentucky. Blondie Whalen fright thongs were selling well at Victoria’s Secret, there’s a lewd carved pumpkin display at the Piece Bell in Newport, and Horny in Hebron is auditioning witches to ride his broomstick, if you know what we mean. Horny says the reason witches don’t wear panties when flying on their broomsticks is because it helps them stay on.
Everybody’s wondering what to wear at all those Halloween parties this year, but our good friend Bobby Leach says every day is Halloween in Northern Kentucky, when guys just sit around and “pump kin.” Miss Vicki’s Annual Halloween Party is the place to be seen, ever since The Blower sponsored a “Most Offensive Halloween Costume Contest.”
Several years ago on Halloween, apparently Eric “Call me Crazy” Deters was celebrating the anniversary of losing his frivolous suit against The Blower by filing suit against The Fishwrap claiming they had defamed NoKY’s second-most infamous oversexed education teacher Sarah Jones by saying she had sex with a student despite slutty Sarah’s felony guilty plea and admission to doing just that. That’s when the Cabal Of NoKY Attorneys Still Out To Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, Including Lovely Lisa Wells (The Attorney Who Replaced Crazy Eric On WLW Hate Radio) welcomed Feckless Fishwrapper Jim Hannah to the bonds of frivolous lawsuit brotherhood. The Blower would like to congratulate Jim Hannah again, especially because he’s no longer a Feckless Fishwrapper.
Seven years ago on Halloween, basic cable subscribers in Northern Kentucky were watching the Flashlight Theatre’s production of “War of the Worlds” to see if the entire Northern Kentucky area was invaded from outer space. But the best part of program was when Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane lost his composure trying to interview film legend Tor Johnson. WATCH IT HERE
Hurley the Historian says that’s because on Halloween in 1938, Charles Foster Kane lookalike Orson Welles caused a nationwide panic with his broadcast of “War of the Worlds”— a realistic radio dramatization of a Martian invasion of Earth, and every day our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane tried to cause a similar tri-state panic about tax increases during the Obama Depression.
On the other hand, Halloween festivities probably have never been totally enjoyed by Kane’s old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, since he got married on Halloween fifty something years ago. “I was tricked once, and it’s been no treat ever since,” the crusty curmudgeon explained.
Speaking of tricks: when Liberal politicians promise you something, they must first take it from you or somebody else. If these creepy creatures take it from you, you can bet your political pumpkin you’ll get back a lot less than you were forced to give.
If you get to choose between politics and Halloween, take Halloween. It may be just a day to buy a mask and count up your candy at the end of the night, but you’ll still get more for your money. Choose politics, and those greedy bastards wearing masks of compassion will steal all your candy and wind up with everything else you own.
Maybe that’s why Obama came to town on Halloween in 2012 —to confiscate all the candy your kids had collected and redistribute it to the kids who were too lazy to go trick or treating for themselves.
Halloween Safety Tips: Police say don’t dress up like a black guy with a gun, especially in a white neighborhood.
Now here are a few children’s Halloween safety tips you won’t see on TV: Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke. Don’t search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. Don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. And never ever take anything from the dead.
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Thomas Jefferson’s “A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have.”
And over at Channel 19, did Trish the Dish really say the difference between Halloween and Election Day is one of them is always on a Tuesday, but she forgot which one.
Trick or Treat, Happy Halloween Tonight
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Hillary Halloween Warning
WASHINGTON (World News Bureau) – Authorities are warning the public to be aware of a high number of children expected to be masquerading as Hillary Clinton this Halloween. Specific concerns are children pretending to collapse on porches, sidewalks, and possibly even streets.
“We urge all parents to warn children portraying Mrs. Clinton to exercise caution when pretending to collapse, avoiding busy sidewalks and staying well away from streets and driveways. Also, trick-or-treaters need to be aware of possible shock or confusion to individuals responding to a knock or doorbell, only to find plump children in pantsuits apparently dead or injured at their front door. Halloween is not an excuse to cause real harm or fear to people who are not familiar with your costume’s theme.”
More Offensive Halloween Costumes
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our October fund-raising drive from Kevin O’Brien’s Pumpkin Patch, where you can have sex with a pumpkin in Anderson Township, because as The Fishwrap keeps telling us, “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”
HALLOWEEN HOT LINE
e-mail your ghoul grams today.
Some scary items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally scary subscribers.
Whistleblower Halloween Videos
Plus this Oldie But Goodie
PRESIDENT EVIL – Halloween Monster Mash 2012 Election Spoof
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
