— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— TONIGHT’S TOP TEN CONSERVATIVE VIDEOS —
Tucker Carlson Unloads on America’s Deeply Corrupt Institutions and Trump Wiretapping
Mark Steyn: Dem Rhetoric Makes Politics Impossible
Obama Criticizes Republicans For Trying To Repeal Obamacare
Kim Jong-Un Responds To Trump’s ‘Rocket Man’ Nickname
Hillary Clinton Claims She’s The ‘Paula Revere’ Of The Russia Scandal
Chuck Schumer – Not a Fan of “Rocket Man” Insult
MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell’s Unhinged Outtakes for Eight Crazy Minutes
Morgan Freeman Goes Full Libtard
Maxine Waters Pushes Trump Impeachment — During Eulogy!
He Messed With The Wrong Person
— TONIGHT’S TOP THREE CONSERVATIVE POSTERS —
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS —
Looking for Tonight’s Big Story
Hurricane Maria has made a direct hit on Puerto Rico and reports say the island is being ‘utterly obiterated,’ prompting fears of heavy casualties.
Sorry, we’ve had enough hurricane news lately. Next.
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Hundreds Dead In Massive Mexican Earthquake
Hey, it’s Mexico. Next.
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Apocalypse This Saturday
A noted Christian numerologist has joined a number of religious and secular prophets, astrologists, psychics, and clairvoyants in predicting the world will suffer a cataclysmic apocalypse ending life as we know it on Saturday.
*YAWN* Next story.
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Pentagon: North Korea Preparing Pre-emptive Strike on U.S.
An anonymous Pentagon insider says Kim Jong-un is preparing a pre-emptive nuclear strike on Washington DC with the belief it will decapitate the U.S. government and its ability to wage war.
Sounds like as good a target as any. Next.
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WORLD REELS AS KIM KARDASHIAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL
The shocking news that Kim Kardashian was taken to a New York hospital has brought the world community together in an unprecedented outpouring of good wishes and prayer.
TO SEE MORE FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
—TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE —
It’s Time For Hillary To Exit Stage Left
The DemocRATS have been successful in getting the country to focus on statues instead of less important things like North Korea’s nuclear ambition, an improving economy, and a stock market boom. Gone are the two hurricanes in 2017 that bolstered the global warming freak-out (even though it had been a record 12 years since a major hurricane hit the US).
But now Hillary’s pulling the proverbial bandaid off the Democrats’ wound of a 2016 election over and over and over, as if doing a remake of Groundhog Day as a disaster movie. (MORE)
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE BABYLON BEE —
Inclusivity Win: State Of California To Make All Prisons Gender-Neutral
The state of California continues to lead the brave charge for gender neutrality and inclusivity! Governor Jerry Brown just announced that all state prisons will become gender neutral, and the current prison populations which are segregated by the harmful, binary, socially constructed gender conspiracy will be combined, beginning January first of next year. (MORE)
TO SEE MORE BABYLON BEE STORIES, CLICK HERE
— NOW HERE’S TONIGHT’S FAKE NEWS FUN FROM THE ONION —
Climatologists Say Humanity’s Best Hope Is Hurricanes Spinning In Different Directions And Canceling Each Other Out
SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning that the planet would continue to experience progressively more destructive storms caused by climate change, a group of the nation’s leading climatologists said Wednesday that humanity’s best hope now is for hurricanes spinning in opposite directions to cancel each other out. “At this point, we believe that the last, best hope for the human race is for two hurricanes whirling in opposite directions at exactly the same speed to neutralize each other,” said National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration researcher Justin Rhee, adding that if one hurricane spinning clockwise and another spinning counterclockwise collided in the Gulf of Mexico, they could theoretically nullify each other and result in calm, clear skies. “According to our research, the mutual destruction of two mirror-image Category 5 storms with winds of 170 mph is really our only hope. Failing that, we’d have to pray that two hurricanes spinning in the same direction would actually unite and begin spinning so fast that they fly off the earth entirely.” Rhee went on to say that unfortunately, it is not outside the realm of possibility for two hurricanes to double their magnitude by stacking on top of each other, or for one hurricane to hurl the other a thousand miles inland to wreak havoc on the Midwest.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 245. There Are Now Only 1,139 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
