TODAY IS
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2020
AND WE’RE TOTALLY IGNORING THE DISHONEST D-RATS’ IDIOTIC IMPEACHMENT TRIAL
On Trump’s 1,097th Day In OfficeInstead, We’re Reviewing The Blower’s Award-Winning Coverage Of Trump’s Inauguration

This Afternoon At The Conservative Agenda, Hurley The Historian Was Reviewing Trump’s Inauguration And Analyzing The Way Trump’s War With The Liberal Propaganda Media Was Already Unfolding, Especially After The President Called Them Among “The Most Dishonest Human Beings On Earth.”

Meanwhile, Political Insiders were asking about The Blower’s coverage of Obama’s Ominous Beginning in 2009: Our “Liberal Trash” E-dition accurately foretold of the Worst Presidency in History that would afflict America for the following eight years:  

— Special “Liberal Trash” E-dition —

   
Thursday, January 22, 2009

Remember when the Washington Mall used to be covered with grass?

  That was only last week. If this is what it our Nation’s Capital looks when the Messiah was sworn in, just wait until we’ve had four years of his supporters’ behavior.

And it didn’t take long for all those Obama Supporters in the Press to start making excuses for their boy. They’re going to get a lot of practice during the next 1,458 days. So how come Katie Couric says “It’s a sign Obama is actually human” when the Messiah screwed up his oath of office, but whenever Bush made a minor grammatical faux pas, it was always proof positive that the Republican president was a hopeless idiot. 

The Blower’s Astute but Somewhat Eccentric Political Commentator, Godfrey Tweed, says the real reason Chief Justice Roberts and The Great Half-White Hope flubbed the Oath of Office is that both men know that Obama is not a natural-born citizen and is Constitutionally prohibited from holding the office which he now occupies. That, and their lips and faces were frozen from the cold and from suppressing their laughter at having to listen to a piano, cello, and violin try to play in tune in 30 degree weather.

 And just to show you how we are all now united, we have the Rev. Joseph Lowery’s Racist Benediction at Obama’s Coronation: ‘Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around… when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy, say Amen, say Amen. say amen.” Yeah, right! Racism is really a thing of the past. And you didn’t hear one person, on any channel, comment about this racist prayer.

Obama Supporters in the Press already working on Obama’s re-election campaign are already lowering expectations for the Messiah. David Schribman’s column in the Toledo Blade (“Time to stop grading presidents on the first 100 days”) was among the first.

 And what was the Barack Market’s reaction to Obama’s Coronation? Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says U.S. stocks sank, sending the Dow Jones Industrial Average to its “historic” worst Inauguration Day decline in history. That, of course, followed the “historic” worst decline since Election Day in history. That’s something else our Obama Supporters in the News forgot to tell us. Check your IRAs, if you don’t believe us.

As we know, our Ornery Obama Observer always tries to get along with his fellow man . . . and woman . . . especially the woman. But, when he was in a room full of extreme left-wing teachers watching the Inauguration speech by President Obama  . . . well, it was almost too much to bear. The looks on the faces of these highly-educated, well-read, erudite sages was breathtaking. Their expressions were like those on the faces of five-year old children just before they open the biggest present under the tree on Christmas morning . . . or when Daddy walks through the door carrying a new puppy. Swept away with tear-filled emotion, several began to do little patty-cake claps each time President Obama paused. The Observer wonders what will happen when the realization sets in that President Obama is just a fast-talking politician.

Four years ago you saw these headlines in Liberal publications:
“Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops die in unarmored Humvees”
“Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times”
“Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft”

Today’s Liberal headlines are, of course, somewhat different:
“Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $150 million”
“Obama Spends $170 million on inauguration; America needs a big party”
“Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate”
“Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration”

Is America a great country or what?

And as Ornery was driving to work Wednesday morning, the 8am ABC Newscast reminded him that the media Obasm is a very, very, very long way from over. The ABC Radio News babe gushed, “All of America woke up this morning with the unforgettable memory of a white-tied President Obama and first lady Michelle in floor length gown dancing at the inaugural ball. But now, it’s on to the hard work of turning this troubled country around.” The Observer assures us is that the only thing he woke up to this morning was the grim realization that he should not have eaten that sixth cheese Coney last night.

Did one of the radio stations really say, “Urine yellow is not a good color dress for Michelle Obama?” And what was the “hostess gift” that Michelle gave Laura Bush on the steps of the White House? Pot holders she made while holed up at the Blair House? And while we’re at it, what the hell was that thing on Aretha Franklin’s head? At least she showed she was no longer a slave to fashion.

At the Obama’s Inaugural luncheon after Obama’s swearing in, Teddy Kennedy, who is battling a brain tumor, was taken away in convulsions. Senator Robert Byrd, the oldest member of the Senate, was so upset and distraught from what he had witnessed, that he needed to be taken out. The latest word is that neither one is yet a “Good DemocRAT.”

On the Late Late Show, Craig Ferguson said, “I’m actually surprised Obama has a limousine. I thought he’d go to work on a magical unicorn, galloping through traffic.”

Say what you will about those Obama Supporters. Tuesday they really showed their class. They were clapping and yelling for the DemocRATS, but then when President Bush walked down the steps to his seat, a section of the crowd chanted, “Nah nah nah nah, hey hey, good-bye.” The jeers were among the final Liberal feedback Bush received as president. And here’s how Obama’s new Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel waved goodbye to the Bushes. Is this new administration going to be a class act or what!

Meanwhile at the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center, Obama’s big day really fizzled, when about only 20 people watched the “historic” ceremony in a small room on the third floor.

Our loquacious left-wing blogger Mad in Mt. Adams writes: “America is now one full day into the Obama Administration and sadly, our troops are still needlessly fighting and dying in Iraq!”

 In honor of Obama, our Quote for today Committee chose Queen Latifah’s: “I miss the ’70s where you had shows like ‘The Jefferson’s’ and ‘All In the Family’ where Black people could be Black and white people could be white. Racists could be racists, and non-racists could be non-racists, but it was talked about.”

Also in honor of Obama, our Constitutional Scholar can’t choose between Patrick Henry’s “It is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth-and listen to the song of that siren, till she transforms us into beasts.” Put more succinctly, James Madison might’ve had Obama in mind when he said: “Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm.”

 When we last left our Obsessive Compulsive Obama Supporters friends Tom and Rose, they were basking in the gleeful after glow of their MoveOn.Org Obama Inaugural Bash. Looking quite radiant, Rose observed, “Tom, these are certainly the best days of our lives. The ball was a spectacular way to launch the dawning of this new age! Why, how nice was it to meet hundreds of guests we have never met before. Even Stan and Joe were there together . . . but I must say they made hogs of themselves devouring all that Caspian Sea Caviar. Gosh, I sure hope Joy Behar is okay. Just imagine her vomiting like that right in the middle of our satellite link-up!” But, all in all, I think we were good stewards of MoveOn.Org’s money. By the way, you have overnighted the bills to them, correct?”

Larry from Yorktown, Virginia says they may have been celebrating on Tuesday, but today reality should be starting to set in, because we still have 1,458 more days to go. For those who were not dumbed down by the Liberal media, you can use the “Obameter” to measure the reality of all of the 510 campaign promises made by the Messiah.

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1973 the Supreme Court said baby-killing was Constitutional when they legalized abortion. Now this is one date we think our Kneepad Liberals will celebrate. Hurley also explains that the “O”piphany is a leftist feast day which celebrates the revelation of God in human form in the person of Barak Obama. Every year from now on, the event will be celebrated on January 20.

Wondering if the GOP is still a “National Party,” Pat Buchanan says, “The vital signs of the loyal opposition appear worse than worrisome.”

Wondering how much longer the Hamilton County RINO Party will be in business, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at yesterday’s meeting of the Common Sense Conservative Agenda with the Obama love fest in the media still in full swoon, maybe it’s time somebody reminded people that 58 million Americans actually voted for the other guy.

Kane had another story to tell. His next door neighbor, a Dumbed-Down DemocRAT who had run unsuccessfully for county office on two separate occasions before the Obama era (when even the most unqualified or incompetent local DemocRAT would be swept into office), took the entire week off so he could drive to Washington to experience the wonderfulness of Obama’s Coronation, but the closest he could get to the Capitol Mall where they used to sell slaves was two towns away in Maryland, where he got to watch the festivities on a crappy 19-inch analog TV in a run-down smoke-filled bar. Now you know we we call them “Dumbed-Down DemocRATS.” The Incredibly Shrinking Fishwrap should’ve told that story in its keepsake edition.  

Meanwhile in Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Michael Liquid Plummer came up with a drinking game for the inauguration – every time somebody says “Historic,” you get to down another drink. Be careful, teetotalers— you might end up dead!

The CamBoozler also says Obama announced on his first full day in office that finally the War on Poverty is over. Since half of all black people had enough money to attend his Coronation in Washington, it’s time to put down our guns and get to work, because he needs the taxes from all Americans if he’s going to be able to make a difference in our lives. Obama did say that the war in Afghanistan and Iraq would continue, but only because he wants to help former President Bush succeed with his legacy.

Vanilla Hills Vigilantes wonder why have we haven’t heard from the anti-smoking group in Northern Kentucky about the hazards to a President’s family from the nasty habit of a President smoking, much less the danger imposed on all those pricesless historic furnishings in the White House that the Clintons had to return?  

And can someone tell Over-taxed Payers from Boone County when in the hell was the last time we had a white guy bring his Mother-in-Law with him to live the White House, and why did the Governor only appoint Judge No Moore In 2010 to the position on the Transportation Board until September 2010, when most of his other appointments run until 2012. Does the Gov know something that the rest of us already know?  

Finally, the guys at the Bluegrass Bulletin also weren’t exactly impressed with Obama’s botched oath followed by an uninspiring speech which failed to electrify the crowd, warm any hearts and contained little of value worthy of being etched in stone, as predicted in advance: Obama Speech Reflects America – No Heat, No Electricity, No Value.

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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous donation during January fund-raising drive from DC Trash Collectors Union feeling flush after all that overtime work they’ll be getting to clean up all that crap left by Obama Coronation Watchers.

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