TODAY IS
THURSDAY, AUGUST 22, 2019
Trump’s 944th Day In Office
Happy Dog Days, Everybody!
During the 2019 Dog Days of Summer (those forty days are actually ending tomorrow), we’re well into the hottest time of the year in the northern hemisphere, and tempers around here seem to be fraying a bit. Not for nothing are they called the dog days of summer, as people growl and snap at each other. Perhaps it’s because many of the more active of us are out doing things, and don’t have time to post reports, pictures, or discussions and play with Facebook on company time.
And does The Trumpster really know how to celebrate the Dog Days or what? Our Alpha Male President was humping all those whiny bitches in the Media all week with this tweet about firing Omarosa.
Garrison Keeler says, “When it comes to the summer doldrums, a person’s brain shrinks to pea-size and one forgets about lofty moral values and takes the short view, and so I turn on the air conditioning and burn up precious non-renewable resources for my own comfort and pleasure, even if it does mean that glaciers shrink and the Arctic tern is threatened, I just want cool air to blow on me as I sip a cool drink.”
We’ve all heard the rumor that says the homicide rate supposedly goes up dramatically when the temperature reaches precisely 92 degrees Fahrenheit. The Blower says of course the murder rate increases with temperature, but we’re not sure 92 degrees is the exact temperature. Let’s hope those Cincinnati Police cars are air-conditioned this weekend for patrolling along the route of the Trolley Folly amid the Killing Fields of Over-the-Rhine.
TODAY’S LYING LIBERAL BITCH AWARD goes to Scandal Plagued 2016 Disingenuous DemocRAT Presidential Candidate Crooked Hillary Clinton, and everybody’s wondering what her next lie will be.
Meanwhile, many of those Dumbed-Down, Totally-Trump-Deranged, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, don’t understand what all the fuss is about.
MEANWHILE IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY DURING THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says, it just hit me! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick, “My Dog must be a Congressman.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says this week (August 18 to be exact) in 1920, the Women’s Suffrage Constitutional Amendment was ratified, and America has been suffering ever since.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Mark Twain’s: “Women, go your ways! Seek not to beguile us of our imperial privileges. Content yourself with your little feminine trifles — your babies, your benevolent societies and your knitting–and let your natural bosses do the voting. Stand back — you will be wanting to go to war next. We will let you teach school as much as you want, and we will pay you half wages for it, too, but beware! We don’t want you to crowd us too much.”
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane where he got all those ideas for his columns, like the one in yesterday’s “Line-Jumping Liberals” E-dition where that lady driving a gas-guzzling Chevrolet Suburban (with a Hillary bumper sticker on one side and an Obama bumper sticker on the other) forced her way into line and wouldn’t go to the end of the line where she belonged.
“It’s amazing,” Kane explained. “People have been telling me all day how things like that happen to them all the time, where people who think they’re special think they don’t have to play by the rules.”
“So why do you think the woman who forced her way in line didn’t think the rules applied to her?” someone asked.
“Those Hillary and Obama bumper stickers on her car should’ve been a clue,” Kane replied. “I’m sure she felt entitled.”
More Conservative Political Cartoons
DOG DAZE HOT LINE
e-mail your best pet treats today.
Some Animal Planet watching items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Animal Planet watching subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A DOG HAS NOT SEEN HIS OWNER IN SIX MONTHS
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