FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER  23, 2016 

No Coughing Breaks For Monday’s Debate

According to the Debate Rules, if Crooked Hillary slips into a coughing fit or any other medical crisis during Monday’s high-stakes debate, she will have to power through, the DRUDGE REPORT said earlier today. 

“There are no commercial breaks,” a commission source explains. “Period.” 

Debate moderator Lester Holt does not have the authority to cut away from the stage during the epic 90-minute showdown. And microphone audio for either of the candidates is not to be manipulated. 

Hillary has experienced severe coughing episodes throughout the election year. During a Labor Day campaign stop she suffered a 4-minute choking marathon. 

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

  Why, it’s none other than our own Metro Mole, who’s been reporting all the inside stuff at The Fishwrap for years.

Metro Mole says not to worry if Hillary collapses on stage under the weight of all those lies, because our Feckless Fishwappers will certainly declare Hillary the winner of the debate, having just officially endorsed Mrs. Bill Clinton for President. No Kidding.

“We all saw it coming,” our Mole Man explained, “especially after they showed the most corrupt woman in American History as Joan of Arc following her Disingenuous DemocRAT Convention Speech.”   

        Which is why The Blower is honored to choose Metro Mole to be this week’s guest editor and choose three “non-debatable” items written after last year’s CNN Debate Debacle plus a non-debatable Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors that you also won’t see reported in your Morning Fishwrap.

CNN breaks ratings record with GOP debate
By Bradford Richardson at The Hill

CNN’s primetime GOP debate on Wednesday was the most-watched program in network history, according to CNN Money.

Nearly 23 million people tuned in to the three-hour debate, easily surpassing the network’s previous pinnacle of 16.8 million viewers, a broadcast of “Larry King Live” in 1993.

CNN’s most-watched presidential primary debate, in 2008, drew 8.3 million viewers.

CNN anticipated the ratings bonanza, selling ad spots during the debate at a rate more than 40 times their normal fare.

Donald Trump, who participated in the debate, took credit for the surplus and sent a letter to CNN President Jeff Zucker calling on him to donate proceeds from the debate to charity.

He attributed the increase in viewers to his presence on the debate stage.

The second debate was not as highly rated as the first one hosted by Fox News last  month, which drew 24 million viewers and was the most-watched cable news program in history.

CNN bested Fox News in early debate coverage with 6.3 million viewers, compared to Fox News’s 6.1 million.

CNN’s three-hour debate from hell
Marathon encounter tried the patience of candidates, operatives, and viewers.
By Hadas Gold

SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — By the third hour of CNN’s GOP presidential debate, the candidates looked like long-distance runners fading in the final lap: A sweating Marco Rubio ran his hands through his hair, Chris Christie’s face turned red, a sagging Donald Trump grasped his lectern for support and, at times, seemed to crumple into his suit.

By the time moderator Jake Tapper asked each of the 11 participants to pick a Secret Service code name, a question meant to provoke bright responses but that fell flat, the combatants were out of gas and operatives were getting restless for the post-debate spin room.

The second GOP debate was, in the nearly unanimous opinion of the campaigns, both too long and too loosely governed.

“It was a little bit like a Charles Dickens story. It might’ve been good, but it would’ve been better if there had been an editor involved,”quipped Terry Sullivan, Rubio’s campaign manager.

Part of the blame went to Tapper, who had vowed before taking the stage as moderator for the first time on a presidential debate to host a “real” encounter — with the candidates actually talking to one another. He got that — and more.

The 11 candidates frequently talked over one another trying to get one last jab in. At some points, it seemed like Tapper was a teacher trying to control a class of overexcited third-graders.

CNN.com Turns to Iranians to Bash GOP Debate Participants
By Ken Shepherd |

Leave it to CNN to go to the streets of Tehran for commentary on the Republican presidential primary

“We showed Iranians photos of GOP candidates. They said this,” blared the headline on CNN.com this afternoon.

Clicking the link takes readers to a story by Frederick Pleitgen and Nick Thompson headlined “We showed Iranians photos of Republican candidates — here’s what they told us.” Pleitgen and Thompson filed their story from the capital of the Islamic Republic of Iran and asked passersby what they thought of Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, Carly Fiorina, and Ben Carson and, more particularly, their stances on the nuclear deal President Obama has reached with the theocratic regime.

I’ll just leave this there. You can read the full piece and watch the corresponding video here.

AND THREE BEST ONE LINERS FROM WEDNESDAY NIGHT

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker on Donald Trump’s qualifications to be president: “Mr. Trump, we don’t need an apprentice in the White House. We have one right now.”

Carly Fiorina on the Planned Parenthood videos: “I dare Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama to watch these tapes, watch a fully-formed fetus on the table with a heart beating and legs kicking while someone says, ‘We have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.'”

And Donald Trump on his Secret Service nickname: “Humble.”Stories We’re Working On

HILLARY AND OBAMA SUPPORTING CHAOS IN CHARLOTTE

TED CRUZ ENDORSES TRUMP

NO STEP STOOL FOR HILLARY AT MONDAY’S DEBATE

TRUMP THE FIRST REPUBLICAN EVER TO WIN EARLY VOTES IN FLORIDA
FBI GIVES IMMUNITY TO HILLARY’S LYING AIDES

HILLARY REFUSES BRAIN TEST

COMPLETE LIST OF THINGS HILLARY CAN’T REMEMBER

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said you know Hillary is lying to you:

            (A) Won’t look you in the eye: 2%

            (B) Provide too much information: 1%

            (C) Says “Well, as I recall”: 1%

            (D) Her lips are moving: 96%

 

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

HILLARY’S LIES HOT LINE

e-mail your egregious examples today.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

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