TODAY IS
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2021
TRUMP’S TWENTY-EIGHTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND THE BLOWER’S STILL WAITING FOR THE FIRST THING WE PREDICTED NOT TO COME TRUEWEDNESDAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO

THE LAST BEST HOPE: ASHBROOK COMMEMORATES PRESIDENT’S DAY 2021

Presidents’ Daze

Yesterday, at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane said the proper spelling for today’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day,” like they use at The Fishwrap.”

Since then, we’ve only seen it spelled wrong about a million times, especially in advertisements by companies that should know better, like Macy’s, Toyota, and the Onion Store, (that wants you to fill your life with trivial crap from the past on this “President’s Day.”) Maybe it’s just a really big accident when somebody actually spells “Presidents’ Day” correctly.

But now The Blower’s presidential historian Dorian Grady says, “In a way, ‘President’s Day’ could also be correct.

Because according to the federal government, the holiday being observed today is “Washington’s Birthday.”

But which president is being honored may actually depend on where you live, because states don’t have to adopt federal holidays, which only shut down federal offices and agencies, and some states that celebrate Washington’s Birthday also recognize Lincoln’s Birthday as a separate legal holiday.

All those “Not-My-Presidents’ Day” Rallies that the Destroy Trump Media promised turned out to be a big Nothing-burger.

Meanwhile, many dumbed-down Americans believe today’s holiday is now called “Presidents’ Day,” in honor of both Washington and Lincoln, who was born on February 22 and 12 respectively, which doesn’t exactly explain why the Hamilton County RINO Party chose March 14 for its 2019 Lincoln-Reagan Dinner.

And last year, Our Clermont Cronies held their Dueling Lincoln Reagan Day Dinner versus “Mean Jean Schmidt’s All You Can Eat Pizza Event.”

But wait! The Reading Republican Club is actually having a meeting tomorrow night. None of that virtual crap, a real meeting at a pizza place. At least that’s what it says on the Official Hamilton County Republican Club Calendar, and you know how up-to-date that always is.

And what would keep Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane be attending tomorrow night’s event? Maybe he’ll be accepted another invitation to Mar-A-Lago.